


If at First You Don't Succeed, Bahamut Will Just Make You Do It Again Anyway

by SixofOne



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bad Guy Redemption Fic, But not really angst because I hate it, But only in that Noct's humor is getting kinda dark, Enemies to Lovers, Humor, I refuse to take chances with potentially triggering subject matter tho, Implied bad ending New Game Plus, In that Noctis is literally in an alternate universe but otherwise not really an AU, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Noctis is just a mess and should probably talk to someone, Noctis is just very confused, Panic Attacks, Slight Suicide Ideation, Slow Burn, So am I really, Still consensual tho, Unreliable Narrator, Weird morally grey pseudo-hate sex, okay NOW we're getting pretty genuinely suicide ideation-y
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-06-16 03:43:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 78,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15428295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SixofOne/pseuds/SixofOne
Summary: Noctis has no idea why he's woken up ten years in the past again, but he has a feeling it's not because he was wildly successful in his attempts to take down the Immortal Accursed.But it's fine. This is fine.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello yes I'm bad at things, but HERE WE ARE
> 
> My poor spell checker had a hell of a time trying to wade through all the "fucks" and "shits" (and "Noctis" and "Ardyns") It was just very overwhelmed. So SO to my spellchecker, you were just doing your best.
> 
> And yeah, so I don't really... Have a beta reader... I'm not much of a fandom person in general normally, so I don't really know who I would shove this nightmare off on to read through for me. SO I DUNNO. Buckle up.

One thing was abundantly clear: something had gone horribly wrong somewhere along the way to defeating the Scourge-Bringer, and it's most likely entirely his fault if past experience is anything to go off of. He doesn't know when or how, but the evidence is literally staring him right in the face as he looks at the horrified reflection of the very much twenty-year-old version of himself, on an inappropriately beautiful day, in a hotel room in Galdin Quay.

 

No daemons ravaging the beautiful resort and tearing the buildings to dust. Coctura's clothing is still immaculate and, more importantly, on her body (Noctis had dared jerk open the hotel room door just long enough to stare at her wild-eyed before slamming the door shut again,) and no magical dogs are present to deliver decade long-awaited notes to him. Everything was back to normal. Everything is as it should be.

 

Everything is horribly, horribly wrong.

 

Noctis' clammy grip on the porcelain of the sink has been slipping steadily from where he's been white-knuckled clutching at it for the past ten minutes, and he finally releases it to instead run shaky fingers through his (shorter, once again purposefully styled in a way that was TOTALLY COOL regardless of what Gladio had always thought) hair, attempting to take a breath before he actually threw up.

 

Kings didn't throw up. At least not from pure, mind numbing anxiety.

 

They also didn't scream, though, which had ABSOLUTELY happened when he first caught his reflection in the mirror, but at least he was one point up as he manages to force down the bile that's been trying to claw it's way out of his throat since this nightmarish hellscape of confusion had started.

 

Once he's finally confident that his kingly stomach contents are safe remaining where they are for now, he slowly moves his jerking hands across his body, touching lightly over his sweaty face, patting down his chest, and sliding down his legs, the physical confirmation of what his eyes are reporting some small grounding force as he continues to force breaths into his lungs. Nothing out of place on his body, though once again finding himself slimmer and leaner (he had JUST gotten used to fighting in a heavier body, too,) was rather unnerving. He slips his hands into his pockets to check the contents next, surprised to feel the smooth glass of his phone against his fingertips and quickly pulling it out to take a look at it. To his shock, the screen actually flickers to life as he raises it to his face, the fleeting feeling of elation at discovering that his phone was still functional almost immediately drowned out by the ice cold dread that swirls inside of him as his eyes settle on the date.

 

A strangled grunt forces it's way out of his throat before he swallows, clenching his eyes shut for a moment and shaking his head once violently then staring back at the date again, finding it resolutely unchanged in it's impassive confirmation of his fears.

 

Ten years.

 

Ten fucking years backwards, and why? What the fuck had happened?

 

Noctis once again swallows down the sensation of panicked vomit and shoves his phone back into his pocket, taking a deep breath and holding it for several seconds. At least there was one thing to be grateful for in all this: due to his phone working, he wouldn't have to stumble out of the room and grab random passers-by to ask what year and day it was. How embarrassingly cliche would that be? Prompto would think it was hilarious.

 

Speaking of Prompto though...

 

He may have the date, but he still doesn't have the story of what's going on. Where the hell are his friends in this tangled mess? He eases himself onto the bed, flicking his phone screen back on and bringing up a webpage before hesitating. What is he even doing? As advanced as Moogle's search engine is, he somehow doesn't think that typing _what the fuck is going on oh my gods what the fuck what the FUCK_ is going to bring up a lot of results.

 

Well, maybe it would. Probably none pertaining to being a thirty-year-old man stuck back in his twenty-year-old body, that really feels more appropriate for him anyway since he essentially went through a time warp and hadn't felt quite right in his older body yet anyway, and good Gods above what the hell was his life at this point? He suddenly feels dizzy.

 

Just as he decides to start simple by typing in his own name, the door flies open and a maid comes bustling in, pushing a vacuum in front of her. She jumps with a gasp as she spots him- a sound that he echoes before elegantly choking on his own saliva- and immediately grabs him by the arm.

 

After demanding to know who let him in (Noctis responds with a helpless strangled noise noise that can only be translated as "?!",) asking if he's trying to cause trouble (to which he attempts to say, "n-no!" only to have her verbally steam-roll straight over him,) she relents and instead shoves him through the door, ignoring his stutters and hands raised in a silent bid for peace before slamming the door in his face.

 

Coctura seems no more pleased to see him as he finds himself in front of her bar, her face stuck in a really rather frightening mask-like rictus of synthesized joy at his presence as her words ask if she can help him with anything, but her tone VERY clearly says, "please get the fuck out of my restaurant before I call security, I have seven more hours left on my shift still and I am not paid enough for this shit."

 

Noctis stares at her with his mouth open for a few seconds before he finally grunts rather noncommittally, still desperately trying to pull the remaining shards of his sanity and understanding of the universe back together before mumbling a quiet "sorry," and then totally not tripping over his own feet as he stumbles blindly towards the pier. He just... He just needs to think. He just needs somewhere peaceful and quiet to sit down and THINK for a second...

 

He makes it as far as the dock before his shaking legs start locking, buckling over with his clammy hands on his knees. He's breathing too quickly and he knows it, vision starting to turn black at the corners and limbs beginning to tingle from lack of oxygen, but he just can't seem to stop hyperventilating. The sound of the waves gently lapping at the pier sounds like a roar in his buzzing skull, and he swears he can actually feel the wood giving way under his feet and the sky falling in on top of him over and over again, despite finding himself still firmly planted in place every time he dares to open his eyes.

 

Everything is just entirely too much. He can't handle it, he actually CAN'T- so of course that's when everything decides to go ass-up worse.

 

"Oh my, what have we here?" a voice that resembles both oozing honey and fingernails on a chalkboard drifts up from behind him, and Noct immediately freezes as though Shiva herself had kissed him, eyes bursting open and staring at the wood in front of him. "If you're looking for a ship, I'm afraid you're out of luck."

 

Noctis jerkily turned around to face the voice, eyes wide and wild and skin suddenly drenched in a cold sweat despite the cheery warmth of the sun beating down on him. Disarmingly calm amber eyes meet his frantic blue ones, staring at him evenly from a frame of wild red hair. Noctis stares into the face of all his agony, the death of his fiance, the death of his father, the bringer of the end of his world as he had ever known it.

 

He's staring at Ardyn Izunia.

 

Ardyn smiles.

 

Noctis opens his mouth to try to speak, gets as far as, "YOU-" and then immediately turns his head and violently throws up instead.

 

Well, so much for that point in his favor.

\---

Brightly colored birds are cheerfully chirping in that way that only the tropical varieties can, a gentle breeze lovingly curling through the air to lift away the heat of the bright sun, and waves are quietly breaking against the picturesque shoreline as Noctis loudly vomits what feels like enough stomach bile to account for five people.

 

"Ah," Ardyn says helpfully as Noctis retches again into the shallow water, his hands outstretched as if that has ever aided anyone in the history of Ever. "Are you... quite alright?"

 

"Oh, I'm fucking GREAT," Noctis shudders out between gasps, stomach and diaphragm spasming violently as they decide whether or not they're finished twisting themselves into a noose to hang Noctis from yet. "I've literally never-" he cuts off with a gurgling sound as his stomach heaves once more, though nothing comes out this time and Noctis shivers as he unwillingly pulls in another breath, "-h'ever been better."

 

They fall into a brief silence again as the cartoonishly joyous day continues on around them for several moments, before Noctis finally begins to slowly right himself, chest still unsteadily heaving for air and hands pressed tightly over his stomach. He can feel his shirt clinging to him, soaked in sweat, hair stuck to his neck and forehead in a way that makes his skin crawl, but it's still a more preferable sensation than having to acknowledge the literal monster standing next to him on this Godsdamned pier. It's several more moments before he can bring himself to drag his gaze back over to Ardyn who has, at least, put his hands down finally.

 

"Would you like some water?" Ardyn inquires at length, a mocking sort of care in his voice though his lips are still forming that unbearably smug smirk. Noctis wants to punch him, but he's too afraid to make any sudden movements.

 

"Absolutely not," Noctis responds immediately, because honestly, getting drugged or poisoned after getting unceremoniously thrown back in time and not even making it as far as he did last time sounds like the final nail in the coffin of indignancy that he just isn't ready to deal with. _Does he want some water, HONESTLY._

 

Something is nagging at him though, and he realizes that he's not entirely sure whether or not Ardyn recognizes him. His pose is impassive, his expression mocking yet slightly bored, and to be fair that's how Ardyn-fucking-Izunia (or -fucking-Caelum or WHATEVER) always looks, but still... Ardyn had been very forward about his spite and hatred towards Noct by the time he'd become trapped in the Crystal, and while he has no doubt that Ardyn still hates him just by virtue of being able to breathe still, in this moment he's definitely back to wearing the skin of a friendly, if eccentric and vaguely threatening, transient.

 

Very poorly, he might add. Somewhat like an alien doing it's best imitation of a human, and only getting it about 60% correct, though perhaps that's exactly what a Starscourge riddled bag of hatred really was. An alien, of sorts.

 

"Are you quite certain you're feeling alright?" Ardyn presses with his very best Fellow Human voice, "you looked close to slipping into the water there for a moment."

 _If only he was so lucky._ "Yeah," he forces out instead, "I just... Bad fish, you know? Probably? Delicate stomach."

"Really? At the Mother of Pearl? Their food is widely known, I'm surprised it would cause such illness in a person. I'm told that it's fresh of the boat, though I have it on good authority that they get their Sea Bass shipped in frozen."

"Look, I'm sorry," Noctis practically cuts him off, "what was it that you were saying? I- uh- really should probably be resting, or... Something..." He was NOT running away, he was just ending the conversation. He had very important things to be doing, such as literally anything else.

"Ah, yes. Only that the boats bring you here. They shall not-"

"Oh, that? Yeah yeah yeah, I know," Noctis fully interrupts this time, Ardyn's bizarre way of speaking already giving him a headache. He'd heard this once, are the Gods really so cruel as to make him listen to this shit AGAIN?

 

Ardyn trails off and tilts his head, regarding Noctis intently. "Do you?" He muses, his smirk deepening. "Strange, I had not seen you arrive. Why are you here, if not for a ship, I wonder? I would assume you a tourist, if not for the reactions of the staff."

 

Noctis fidgets uncomfortably, but forces himself to keep glaring into Ardyn's eyes, not even blinking.

 

"Well, no matter," Ardyn continues, a little too lofty and cheerful to truly be convincing, "we all end up in places we don't belong sometimes."

 

Noctis freezes, jaw tightening as he stares at Ardyn hard. _He KNOWS,_ a panicked voice whispers in his mind. _... Does he know?_

 

"I must admit though, I'm _exceedingly_ curious. Humor an old man: if you are neither a traveler, nor a tourist, what are you, exactly?"

 

Noctis KNOWS he shouldn't. Despite what one might think, his survival instincts are actually quite finely tuned to keeping him out of as much trouble as possible most of the time. But as if a particularly stupid ghost has been exorcised from his body in that exact moment, a voice rises up inside of him and snidely answers, "a man of no consequence."

 

And oh, Noctis realizes quite immediately that he absolutely royally fucked up. The smile that spreads across Ardyn's face is terrifying, and Noctis' stomach sinks. "I see... How very delightful." And probably for the first time in his stupid millenias-long existence, Noctis gets the feeling that Ardyn might actually be speaking truthfully. He looks absolutely ECSTATIC- in a sort of creepy, cruel, calculating way that sends unpleasant goosebumps crawling over Noctis' skin- but ecstatic all the same.

 

"Very well, then, keep your secrets for now if you're so keen to them." Ardyn gives a shrug with too much dramatic gesturing to look as casual as he seems to think that it does, and pauses to look at Noct curiously as though hoping to read his mind from his eyes alone. ... Could Ardyn read minds? Noctis was PRETTY sure he couldn't read minds, but at this point, he honestly had no fucking idea. Ardyn being able to read minds was just as plausible as all the other shit he'd had seen him do that he'd previously been pretty sure was impossible.

 

Noctis can't help himself; he stalls for a moment, shifts uncomfortably before asking, "and you? What's your story, then? You just hang out on piers waiting for people to walk up so you can tell them the ships aren't running? Kinda weird, don't you think?"

 

"Ah, you expect answers, yet give none yourself? That seems terribly unfair," Ardyn says lightly, though he still twirls one hand in the air and paces a bit (the absolute DRAMA QUEEN) before continuing, "I'm an impatient traveler, ready to turn ship." He slowly turns, taking a few steps away from Noctis. "This ceasefire is getting us nowhere."

 

Something is tickling the back of Noctis' mind. A memory of something that feels like an irritating itch, trying to make it to the forefront of his consciousness. He realizes, a half second too late, EXACTLY what it is as Ardyn suddenly spins on his heel and lifts one hand.

 

"DON'T-" Noctis begins, but Ardyn has already flicked the coin at him with what seems like inhuman strength, the metal a single flash of literally blinding silver as it reflects the sun into his eyes just to add insult to injury, before it pings hard off his forehead and ricochets off. Noctis' head snaps back at the impact, hands reflexively lifting to the sting as the coin makes an infuriatingly loud "PLUNK" noise into the water.

 

"Ah... my apologies," Ardyn says, not sounding sorry AT ALL, and procures another coin from who-fucking-knows-or-cares-where in his multi-layered Bag Man outfit. He winds up once more, but to Noct's absolutely indignant fury, this time he does so very, very slowly, pulling his arm back to instead toss it to him underhand as though Noctis is a child with particularly slow reflexes who has also broken both of their arms.

 

To be fair, Noct still only barely manages to catch it despite the condescendingly careful throw his way, the coin hitting him in the chest as his hands scramble to catch it. He knows it's childish, and the voice in his head is telling him once more that he really, really shouldn't, but the moment his fingers close over the coin, he winds up and flings it back towards Ardyn as hard as he can. In his fury, his aim is terrible. It flies two feet to the right side of Ardyn's head. Ardyn still catches easily without even looking away from Noctis' face, smirk never faltering for a second, the absolute ASSHOLE. "Don't THROW THINGS AT PEOPLE."

 

"What, you don't want it? A simple souvenir from you travels?" Ardyn steps forward and offers the coin to him again, this time laying flat in the palm of his hand, and Noctis stares at it for a few seconds before something compels him to take a step forward of his own and pluck it from him to look at the design. Something looks slightly different about this Oracle Ascension Coin from his memory of the old ones, but he can't quite put his finger on it before Ardyn is turning on his heel and speaking over his shoulder again.

 

"Safe travels, Man of no Consequence. I do hope we'll run into each other again."

 

"Yeah, I'm sure you do," Noctis mutters hatefully under his breath as he watches Ardyn swoosh away like a sentient, theatrical dust mop, coin still clutched tightly in the palm of his hand. For a moment he considers if he should try summoning Armiger and just being done with it, but a nagging fear at the back of his mind isn't sure if all the requirements are still in place to truly be able to kill Ardyn. And he still isn't sure if Ardyn knows for absolute certain who he is- at the very least, he's still pretending to not know that Noctis is the King (Prince, still?) of Lucis, an advantage that he'd rather not blow by revealing his ability to use magic before the time is right. He holds off with a groan, watching Ardyn's back through the crowd and only relaxing when that ugly-as-sin hat finally bobs fully out of sight.

 

Goddamn he could use a nap. And a shower.

 

And also a toothbrush. Not necessarily in that order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha i have absolutely no idea what i'm doing
> 
> Also for some reason my brain seemed to have a hell of a time trying to stay in the same tense? So if you see anything funky, holla at'cha gurl and I'll fix it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: Originally the page breaks in Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 were actually separate chapters (so four all together) so if the flow kind of feels awkward, that's why. They were just really too short for me to justify having them all separate in the end once the other chapters started getting so much longer. Hopefully it doesn't feel too weird!

The last few hours had not been entirely pleasant for Noctis, to put it lightly. He'd discovered, after Ardyn left, that he'd met him several days earlier than last time, a fact that raised several questions in and of itself. Had Ardyn originally been waiting for him and his friends to show up for several days by the time they got to Galdin Quay, or had the timeline shifted? Either way, it left him with the horrifying realization that his father was still very much alive, and he had no way to get to him before Insomnia was to fall. It was like some sort of excruciating mental torture, and the knowledge that even if he COULD make it in time, it wouldn't make a single difference, only left him feeling more helpless. His father was _right there,_ and once again Noct was completely powerless to do a single damn thing. Just barely out of reach... Just like Luna.

 

The second thing he discovered was that none of the phone numbers he had for Gladio, Ignis, or Prompto were correct anymore. Every single one led to a complete stranger, much to Noctis' perplexion. There was nothing to do about it but keep moving forward though, doing his best to ignore the gnawing feeling of complete solitude that was starting to well up inside of him.

 

The third thing was that something was terribly, terribly wrong with his magic. He had elected to hike over to the camping spot that he knew was close to Galdin, and immediately checked to see what inventory he was working with. The first time he had tried to draw his weapon, his magic had hissed and sputtered around his hand before fizzling out completely. He had tried six more times, panic steadily rising higher and higher, before he finally sat down and took a few steadying breaths. He did eventually manage to summon his weapon (the Balmung he'd last used before whatever 'this' was had happened, which he hoped implied that he still had his entire previous inventory as well,) but it had taken so much mental focus and been so draining that he was too scared to dismiss it again case he couldn't get it back in a pinch.

 

The camping gear he'd also managed to find, spending what felt like ten minutes concentrating so hard that he was sweaty and shaking before it finally materialized in his hands, the sudden reality of the weight enough that he almost dropped it to the ground with his arms feeling as tired as they were from the strain of pulling from the Armiger.

 

It had been near dark before he was finished, and as much as he'd wanted to sit down and try to figure out what the hell was going on, he knew he had to set up camp before the light left completely. The inherent feeling of wrongness only grew louder as he found himself getting everything ready completely by himself. No Ignis bustling around trying to find ways to sneak vegetables into the meal in a way that Noctis wouldn't be able to pick out, no Prompto darting around taking photos and just generally being 'A Distracting Prompto,' and no Gladio helping to set up the tent while loudly griping at everyone to focus and get everything finished before screwing around.

 

By the time the tent was up, he hadn't had it in him to try to get the chairs out. Not only was it mentally exhausting, but having the magic that had come so easily to him before suddenly feel like pulling a tooth out of his own jaw was so disheartening that it seemed easier to just plop on the ground in front of the unlit campfire.

 

Which is where he's at now. It's at this point- already mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted- that things go from "worst case scenario" to "worstest case scenario". He finally pulls out his phone again, switching to the empty web browser he had opened up hours before, and types in his name. It still seems like a reasonable start... Are there two of him now? Is there another Noctis Lucis Caelum taking off on a whirlwind adventure of fun and excitement with his friends? Or something else entirely?

 

Turns out the answer is very much "something else entirely."

 

The first search result staring at him reads:

 

_"Regis Lucis Caelum Breaks his Silence Regarding Son's Death"_

 

Noctis lets out a shuddering breath, mind not fully comprehending as he looks at the second search result.

 

_"Oracle Speaks About Realities of Future Without Chosen King"_

 

"No way, no _fucking way,_ " Noctis hears a voice groan, sounding much too sickly and full of dread to REALLY be him. He scrolls down to the third result, the Eospedia result on himself, and has to try twice to get his shaking thumb to click the link.

 

_" **Prince Noctis Lucis Caelum** (August 30th, M.E. 735 - March 31st, M.E. 744) was a member of the Lucis Royal Family and 114th in line to the Throne of Lucis." ___

__

__He fumbles with his phone as he tries to scroll down to the 'Death' tab, hands so sweaty the glass slips through his fingers easily and clatters loudly to the rock below him. He already knows exactly what waits for him under that tab, dread filling him like sticky ichor, yet some part of him has to read it with his own eyes. He snatches his phone up and braces his shaky hands on his legs to try to keep still enough to read:_ _

__

_"On 31st March 744, Noctis was killed by the **Daemon Marilith** on the Outskirts of Insomnia. The attack also resulted in the deaths of both members of his security detail, and gravely injured his father, **King Regis Lucis Caelum, King of Lucis** , who attempted to stop the attack. The resulting chaos and finger-pointing is thought to be one of the main causes of furthered tensions between Lucis and Niflheim, with many Lucian news outlets reporting that the attack was a successful assassination attempt by **Emperor Iedolas Aldercapt**. Emperor Aldercapt has publicly refuted these claims, stating that no such plan was put forward by Niflheim."_

____ _ _

____Noctis lets his phone slip through numb fingers again, vaguely wondering if the resulting sharp clattering noise was an indication that the screen just shattered, but can't really find it within himself to care as he continues to instead stare at the point on his leg where his phone had just been resting._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____That... Would certainly explain why no one seemed to recognize him. Noctis doesn't just not belong here, he was supposed to have been DEAD for over ten years now. This world literally doesn't have a place for him anymore. It also might explain why none of his friend's phone numbers worked anymore: they had all been tied through Noctis on a special phone plan. No Noctis, well... No phone number?_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____The Gods must truly want him dead... If not by "choice," then horrifying Daemon attack at the tender age of eight would certainly do just fine. Noctis lets out a crazed sounding laugh at the thought, then abruptly stops again and keeps staring blankly._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____He remembers it all so clearly. How cruel the whole thing had felt. The initial burst of white-hot agony, and then the resulting warm numbness through his lower body that had frightened him more than the pain had. The paradoxically terrifying calm that had tried to force itself on him afterwards, trying to lull him to sleep and keep his anxiety at bay, and the horror of knowing what waited for him if he gave in. The frozen looks on his bodyguards' faces- hell, the look on his FATHER'S face when he had burst in to help- all of it rushes over him like a bucket of ice, leaving him breathless and sick._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Everyone had praised the Astrals, then, at being kind enough to save him. To let him live. To protect the Chosen Prince of Lucis._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____What a fucking joke._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____He had never been anything more than a lamb for the slaughter. Dressed up like a lion, but headed to the gallows regardless of the costume he thought he wore._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Noctis slowly pushes his palm to his mouth, pressing his fingertips harder and harder into his jaw to try to ground himself back to Eos through physical sensation before truly sinking into a panic. Finally he lifts his gaze, observing the campground glowing hazily in blue light, then raising his head fully to look at the stars above him. Searching the heavens as though foolish enough to still believe that the answers could be found there if he only looked hard enough._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"I will _not_ be some fucking pawn. Not again," he murmurs to himself, his heart aching with an unfamiliar feeling that feels suspiciously like hopelessness. The sensation grows and spreads rapidly, changing shape, and Noctis realizes with a jolt that he's actually feeling something else entirely, a sensation so deeply 'wrong' that it sickens him: an uncomfortable bubbling, sending weak zings of electricity crawling over his flesh and making his hairs stand on end. Then with a sudden 'POP', the feeling is gone, leaving him feeling weak and tired in a way that he can't ever remember feeling before in his life._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Noctis stumbles to his feet, eyes wild as he tries to piece together what just happened, a sinking feeling of suspicion in his stomach. Lifting his hand, he desperately tries to connect to the Armiger, to summon something- ANYTHING- and finds himself coming up empty. As though his body itself simply forgot how to do it. He's pulling the trigger on an unloaded pistol, the barrel simply clicking uselessly in response._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____He "tries" again, but feels like he's lost a basic muscle memory that he's never had to really think about before, and doesn't know where to even start. Like a nightmare where one suddenly forgets how to run despite having something chasing you._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____"No... Oh Gods, no," he hears himself whisper, voice choked thick and frightened with reality truly crashing down around him._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Noctis Lucis Caelum CXIV, Chosen King of the Astrals and Savior of the World, has lost his magic._ _ _ _

____ _ _

Noctis stays frozen somewhere between devastation, rage, and unprecedented terror, before one intrusive thought worms it's way into his consciousness like the sickest, most inappropriate joke: _At least he won't have to worry about balancing his magic use while attacking with Balmung..._

\---

There's a unique sort of misery that goes along with trudging under the sun in the middle of a particularly hot day. A sort of nagging realization that if given the opportunity, Mother Nature would probably strike you dead with absolutely zero remorse. She's above you, below you, all around you, just patiently biding her time and waiting for the elements to finally pull you to your knees and succumb to the dirt once more.

 

Perhaps that was a LITTLE overdramatic, but the point remains that Noctis fucking _hates_ sunlight. It's something he's certainly grown accustomed to after his time spent traveling, and it definitely beats constant darkness and the Daemons that follow it, but it will never, EVER be something that he enjoys. Trying to keep things in perspective ( _I should be thankful for the sun, I know it isn't going to last forever, I know the world is going to be plunged into darkness if I don't figure something out,_ ) was only helpful the first few hours, and regardless of how thankful he knows he SHOULD be, Noctis is Officially Fucking Over It.

 

It also doesn't help that he's having to actually carry his sword across his back and the bag of camping gear on his opposite shoulder. The tent, while appropriate when he had three other friends with him (and a magical U-Store-It at his literal fingertips,) is unnecessarily cumbersome now that he's by himself, and as it turns out, a four person tent becomes absurdly heavy after about the hour mark while it slaps rudely into the back of your thigh with every step. Noctis walks with a slight limp on the best of days, and the awkward weight distribution is starting to feel like it's about to drag him to the cement under his feet.

 

But what choice does he have?

 

Further research the night before (that he had spent sitting rigidly upright in the tent, sleepless and horrified,) had revealed, to his surprise, that Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto had still crossed paths at some point. At least, he's PRETTY sure it's Prompto... News articles had reported that Ignis Scientia had been beckoned to Altissia at the urging of the Oracle as a Lucian diplomat, Gladiolus Amicitia accompanying for safety detail, along with "another member of the royal guard." The photos that accompanied the articles all focused on Ignis and Gladio, but Noctis is almost positive that he could see part of Prompto's distinctive hair style on a figure being mostly blocked by Gladio's form in one of the photos.

 

Not much else could be gleaned from them, except that the Oracle had requested the three by name, and they were on their way there to meet with Niflheim and hopefully make more headway towards the end of the hostilities.

 

Noctis had smiled a little, a tiny gleam of something that cut through the haze of uselessness that had settled over him, and he just felt... Proud, really. Of course Ignis would have been destined for foreign policy in a reality where Noctis wasn't there to take up all his time. Gods, he must be fantastic at it. Better than Noctis had ever been, at least, though that isn't saying a whole lot.

 

His research had also seemed to indicate that the three had left the day before Noctis had woken up in Galdin Quay, which meant that if they followed a similar set of events (specifically, having the Unbreakable, Infallible Regalia end up breaking in an entirely fallible way and then having to pay off an overpriced Spite Bill given out by Cid to teach them some lesson about respect or SOMETHING,) they should still be completing a few hunts in the area of Hammerhead. Noctis is pretty sure that he remembers spending a few days helping out Takka and making some extra gil to cushion their travels before heading towards Galdin Quay the first time around, and besides, there's only one road from Hammerhead to Galdin: if they drive past, he'll see them and can just wave them down. Or throw himself bodily in front of their car.

 

Worst case scenario, they hit him, but Noctis is relatively confident that Ignis would slow down in time. Though he wouldn't be upset either way the situation played out, at this point.

Having a concrete plan isn't helping him presently, though, and Noctis finally has to slow down for a moment to tear the strap from the camping gear off of his body, flinging it to the ground with a little more force than necessary as though it had personally inflicted this situation on him itself. He rolls his shoulder in it's socket, fingers of his opposite hand trying to knead knots out of his sensitive muscles and groaning as he feels several spots that have started to rub raw under the constant friction of various straps and buckles.

 

He's pretty sure he can hear a pack of Saber Tusks snarling and yipping as they close in on what clearly is about to turn into an easy target, and there's a shadow circling far above head that he very much suspects might be the Zu from Galdin Quay, but he absolutely refuses to look up and confirm that little nightmare. If he can't see it, it can't see him.

 

His ears suddenly perk up as he hears one of those obnoxiously loud, older engines roaring behind him, turning around and squinting through twisting heat waves beating off the pavement and the glare of the sun to make out the shadowy form of a car speeding down the road towards him. He lets out a quiet, but entirely heartfelt curse and stiffly leans down to pull the camping gear further from the road, preparing himself to be buffeted by the wind and sand that tends to accompany enormous cars blustering past innocent bystanders. The sand never comes, though, and after about thirty seconds he glances over his shoulder to see a TRULY Gods-awful, cherry cola red car with white racing stripes slowing down behind him.

 

... _Racing stripes?!_ No one had thought racing stripes were cool for THIRTY YEARS now. Noct's DAD didn't even like racing stripes anymore...

 

He turns forward again, ready to resolutely ignore them until they gave up and went away, before whipping back around with a loud groan when recognition strikes him.

"You there! You look awfully tired. May I offer you a ride?" Ardyn calls out, light and lilting and completely irritating.

 

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," Noctis says in lieu of an answer, squinting suspiciously at Ardyn who is smiling at him in a way that Noct can only assume he thinks is 'gentle and benign,' but doesn't quite reach his eyes and instead comes off a little 'Uncanny Valley' instead.

 

"Are you headed towards Hammerhead? I find myself heading that direction myself, and I'm loathe to leave someone stranded on the side of the road on a day as hot as this one." Noctis resists the urge to to immediately respond with _"please just talk like a fucking person, what is wrong with you,"_ and opens his mouth to tell Ardyn exactly where he can shove his offer, but then hesitates.

 

At this point, he isn't realistically sure he can actually make it to Hammerhead, and certainly not before dark. The car ride had always felt irritatingly long when they were zinging down the highway at 60 miles and hour, and trying to trudge there on foot with 500lbs of gear strapped to his back seems almost impossible at this point. He may be the Chosen King, but the Gods hadn't seen fit to give him super strength along with their lofty ideals and expectations.

 

He begins shifting his weight from foot to foot in irritation and looks around the scenery wildly in a last ditch effort to convince himself that it isn't as bad as he thinks it is out here. The reality is that he admittedly left woefully unprepared this morning, though. He'd managed to purchase water and trail mix in a daze, but that was as far as his forethought had taken him before he stumbled on his (not so) merry way. Water only goes so far when you're dealing with a summer day in the desert; his eyes are so tired and sensitive from the bright light that he can barely keep them open, and the pain from old scarring in his back is starting to reach an aching fever pitch from the excess weight of the camping gear.

 

On the other hand though, _fucking Ardyn_. Dying of exposure might genuinely be preferable to maintaining small talk with sentient garbage in the shape of a "man" for the next few hours, and Noctis isn't exactly sold on only surviving only long enough to throw himself into his ritualistic sacrifice anymore anyway. He might as well die in Leide, really... Lucian Tomato, Lucian Tomahto.

 

"That sunburn on your neck looks quite painful," Ardyn says lightly, now propping his elbow on the door with his head resting casually on the palm of his hand, regarding Noctis like a bored, dozing Coeurl might regard an Anak that he could eat if he wanted to, but has decided in the moment just isn't worth it's time. "I have some sunscreen in my glove compartment, if you'd like. One should always leave prepared, after all. Wouldn't you like a ride?"

 

"Shut up, I'm thinking," Noctis snaps back, huffing out a breath and shoving one hand through his hair to pull his sweaty bangs off his forehead. He stares at Ardyn hard for another few tense moments before finally letting out a groan, stooping to snatch his camping gear back up and stomping over to throw it and his sheathed sword into the back of the douche-mobile. Honestly, who fucking drives _Vixen Constellations_ anymore without the excuse of going through a midlife crisis? Ardyn was like, a million years old with no end in sight until Noctis had been born, surely he'd already worked his shit out. And was that a Moogle puffball on the antenna?!

 

Unacceptable.

 

Noct's leg chooses the exact moment that he's swung the car door open to finally decide that it's had quite enough of his shit, his left knee buckling and sending him crashing into the seat in a way that he tries to play off as purposeful, though a glance towards Ardyn reveals the man regarding him with his lips quirked up and gaze just this-side of cruel.

 

"You really must be quite tired by now. How fortunate that I found you; I'm not sure you would have made it to your destination at this rate, what with all that gear weighing you down." He begins to pull away from the shoulder, loud-ass engine roaring to life once more and adding the perfect grating backdrop to the symphony of Noctis' irritation. He glances over at the speedometer to see Ardyn driving 15 miles over the speedlimit, because of course he is, and is suddenly reminded of the first time he'd encountered Ardyn's driving habits. Trying to keep up with a man who was not only CLEARLY speeding, but also making the most absurdly tight bat-turns that Noctis had ever seen, combined with Iggy clutching at the dashboard in front of him with white knuckles while his foot continually reflexively tried to stomp on a break that wasn't there, had been absolute hell. And also indicative of who Ardyn was as a person, though he hadn't fully realized it at the time.

 

They drift off into a silence that feels tense to Noct, though Ardyn seems perfectly content to vaguely hum a tune to himself that Noct thinks MIGHT be the Wiz Chocobo tune, but he can't be completely sure with how quiet it is. After about thirty seconds, he realizes that Ardyn is actually just humming the same exact part over and over again, and once he recognizes it, suddenly the only thing he can focus on is that goddamn grating hum repeating those 10 seconds of song like the worst kind of Song that Literally Never Ends Because This Monster Won't Stop Humming It.

 

"Sooo," Noctis cuts in loudly, realizing immediately that his forced attempt at casualness is probably completely transparent, but he keeps going with the act as he turns his right hand and curls his fingers to examine his nails, "how much is the cab fare?" 

He's thinking of the first time they had decided who was to drive what car, with Ardyn smirking at him when Noct had demanded to just go along in Ardyn's car. _"You might find the cab fare to be more than you bargained for."_

... Creep. 

 

He sees Ardyn shoot him a glance out of the corner of his eyes, a subtle smirk stretching his features. "My dear boy, one should never look a gift horse in the mouth. Are you implying that you're offering something?"

 

"Well," and Noctis kicks his foot up on the dashboard, just to irritate Ardyn, "you just don't seem like the altruistic type to give something without expecting something in return is all. Nothing in this world is _really_ free."

 

Ardyn chuckles in a way that sends goosebumps crawling over Noctis' neck and arms. "It's a shame to be so pessimistic so young. I think you'll find I can be quite a generous man in a number of ways."

 

Noctis unconsciously wets his lips, resisting the urge to rub the back of his neck in that way he knows he does whenever he gets nervous. This whole interaction is starting to feel uncomfortably similar to flirting, and as much as he enjoys pushing Ardyn's buttons, he has no desire to keep this line of conversation open.

 

He's spared from having to respond when a sudden, insistent feeling tickles it's way through the back of his nose, holding him on the precipice for a second before his entire body convulses forward with a loud sneeze. Noct presses his hands over his face, not even bothering to lift his head yet and instead remaining hunched towards his knees.

 

If he knows anything about his sneezes, it's that-

 

Another huge lungful of air forces itself into his body before being violently expelled, then once more, and Noctis sniffs miserably with his hands still over his face without moving for several more seconds, before slowly starting to sit up.

 

Ardyn turns his head towards him slightly, beginning to open his mouth to speak, before Noctis abruptly sneezes violently once more, then shakes his head back and forth with a groan. "Okay, I think it's done now."

 

"... Bless you."

 

And Noctis almost can't stop himself from rolling his eyes at the absurdity of the Immortal Accursed blessing anyone, but he resists.

 

"Thanks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i feel like the storytelling was kind of lazy for this chapter with both the 'past tense summary' opening and then using the internet as a device, but hopefully it doesn't feel too awkward. I'm not good at things.
> 
> I also spent a solid few minutes deciding whether or not I wanted to say that "Noctis lost his Marbles" instead of magic, just to prove how old I am with a Hook reference, but decided against it in the end to spare the people who haven't seen that movie from thinking that I'm more of a weirdo than I am. But know that the statement is there in spirit.
> 
> ALSO I CLEARLY HAVE NO IDEA HOW A WIKI(EOS)PEDIA PAGE WOULD BE WRITTEN OUT AND ALSO DON'T FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE REAL LIFE IMPLICATIONS OF A PRINCE POTENTIALLY BEING ASSASSINATED BY A FOREIGN COUNTRY WOULD MEAN. I just sort of hoped that Regis would be like, "BURN THEM TO THE FUCKING GROUND," and then everyone else would be like, "yo, no, calm down, there's no proof yet," and not just immediately result in Salting the Earth warfare. BUT I DUNNO. Just go with it. Anything is possible in the realm of imagination.


	3. Chapter 3

Noctis swears that he's never been happier to see Cindy, suspicious stare and all. The moment they’d pulled up to the auto shop and had slowed down just barely enough that Noct was at least decently confident that he wouldn't immediately shatter his legs, he had jumped to his feet on the seat and leapt over the side of the door, stumbling on impact but managing to remain standing all the same.

 

Ardyn, as it turned out, was EXACTLY as weird when he was pretending to be a Regular Ol' Ho Hum Guy as Noctis had always suspected he might be. While he'd allowed the conversation to lax into blessed silence from time to time, he'd repeatedly interjected rudely into Noct's consciousness to ask if he'd heard of this tale or that tale, none of which Noctis had, all of which where incredibly bizarre, and most of which he'd strongly suspected that Ardyn had made up on the spot. After the fourth time, Noctis had asked if they could talk about something else, to which Ardyn had seemed delighted if only to have the opportunity to discuss ancient Lucian poetry, how it differed from Niflheim and Tenebraean, and his PERSONAL opinion on each. (Niflheim was much too somber and platitudinous, while Lucian was too rigid and pious, and Tenebraean was too fanciful and focused on tragic romance.)

 

Noct was shamelessly gripping his hair and gritting his teeth by the end of it, wondering if he should focus on praying for them to get to Hammerhead quickly, or just for an asteroid to strike Eos at that exact moment and be done with this shit completely.

 

Which was why he could have kissed Cindy directly on her frowning mouth as he nearly topples directly into her mid-way through his desperate leap.

 

"Hi!" Noctis chirps out as he rights himself from his stumble, trying to force his face into his best attempt at a friendly smile to make up for startling her. Cindy looks unimpressed at best.

 

"How can I help you boys?" She asks, sounding slightly reluctant, and to be completely honest, Noct can't really find it in himself to blame her. Ardyn is presently "filling up the gas tank," but seems to be getting distracted at every stage of the process by making delighted noises at the old fashioned pump, and Noctis doesn't think he himself seems any better what with being completely caked in dust, hair obliterated from the wind, and the fact that he had burst over the side of the car moments before as though he was attempting some kind of prison break.

 

"Oh! Uhh... Nothing, really. Not... Well, nothing specific. Just, uh... Have you seen- have you had three guys stop through? Like, younger guys? My age?" He finally stumbles through, one hand lifting to nervously rub a piece of hair between his thumb and forefinger.

 

Cindy crosses her arms, weight shifting to one foot and squinting at him in a way that Noctis is ACUTELY aware means trouble based on his previous interactions with her. "Why? Who's askin'?" and Gods bless her, she doesn't even try to hide the suspicious tone in her voice. Noctis WANTS to be annoyed again, but instead finds himself struck with such a deep fondness for her and all her infuriating ability to become protective of people almost from the moment she meets them, that he can't help but smile a little instead.

 

Besides, he's so relieved to be away from Ardyn and no longer discussing the finer points of ancient languages, that he'd probably get on the ground and let her stomp on his face if she really wanted.

 

"I'm... I'm trying to get to Altissia. To see Lun- to see the Oracle. And I heard- I mean, I know that they're heading that way and," Noctis makes a vague gesture with his hand, hoping that Cindy will relent and help, or at the very least uncross her arms. She does neither, and continues to stare at him stonily. "... well I just really wanted to talk to them."

 

Cindy lets out a loud sigh and drops her hands to her hips instead, shifting her weight back and forth over one foot slightly and seemingly weighing out judgment on him. "Well, ASSUMING that you're talking about the ones I think you are, you're outta luck tonight. They left this morning to take care of a few favors for paw paw and haven't come back yet."

 

Noctis looks at the horizon. The sun is well on it's way to setting, meaning that the three have probably decided to set up camp for the night nearby and won't dare trying to make their way back until morning.

 

His eyes drift to Ardyn, who appears to be teaching a diner patron how to spin an Oracle Ascension Coin between their fingers.

 

Seriously, how many of those fucking things does he have?

 

He looks back to Cindy and nods. "Thanks, I really appreciate it." And, just to appear like the stranger he's supposed to be, "do you happen to have lodgings here?"

 

"Sure," Cindy gestures vaguely behind her towards the camper without bothering to turn around, and Noctis pretends to look towards the direction her hand waves to as though he doesn't know exactly where it is, "back that way. It's a real tight fit though, and it gets pretty cold at night out here in the desert."

 

Noctis resists saying "I know," for what feels like the hundredth time today, and instead smiles with a quiet "thank you," and heads towards Ardyn.

 

"Ah, there you are!" Ardyn calls out as he spots him, throwing his hands out to the side and taking a step towards Noct, "I've just spoken with the proprietor of the establishment and rented the room for tonight. I find myself quite tired after such a long drive. I'm afraid they have no other lodgings available, but you're welcome to join me if you'd like."

 

"What? No! What?!" Noctis blusters furiously, damn near stomping his food in frustration and only just barely resisting. "What do you mean you rented the caravan?! You were just showing that guy how to spin a stupid coin!"

 

"Ah, I rented the room before that, I believe."

 

"Before that you were fucking around with the gas pump like you'd never seen one before!"

 

Ardyn smiles ambiguously at him. Noctis wonders whether or not he'd have any chance of beating Ardyn in a fist fight.

 

He's almost positive (okay, absolutely certain) that the answer is 'no,' but that doesn't stop him from allowing himself to fantasize about it for several long moments.

 

"Believe what you will, but I'm afraid that doesn't change the fact that the room has been rented already. I do believe there's two beds, so it should still be comfortable if you choose to join me. I'm told that there's also a campground nearby though, if you'd like to see if you can make it there before dark."

 

It sounds like a threat, which only makes Noct bristle more. He clenches his hands, spinning on his heel away from Ardyn and closing his eyes as he focuses on taking a single deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before letting it out in a long huff. "Okay. We share the camper. But I get to take a shower first," he finally grinds out. "And if you spend all night talking about weird shit, I'm keying your car in the morning."

 

He turns back around to find Ardyn doing that weird, blank smile at him again before he nods in agreement. Noct nods back once stiffly, then begins to push by him to make his way to the camper when he feels Ardyn's large hand close lightly around his wrist. Noct jolts slightly and jerks his head to look at him, the contact from Ardyn's bare fingertips sending a crawling zing of SOMETHING that feels almost like a static shock up his arm and setting his hairs on end.

 

"It occurs to me that I never learned your name. I almost feel as though we've known each other for quite some time, so I never thought to ask. Isn't it peculiar?" But Ardyn certainly doesn't look like he finds ANYTHING peculiar. He's staring at Noctis with that same smile on his lips, but his eyes have turned sharp again, watching Noct's expression so closely that he can't help but nervously run his tongue along his lower lip to wet it. "You feel it too, don't you?"

 

Ardyn's grip on his wrist tightens, pulling him forward slightly and Noct finds himself staring wide-eyed back at him, feeling somewhat like a hypnotized deer caught in the headlights of a monster truck before he finally blinks and yanks his wrist back out of Ardyn's hand, holding it to his chest and rubbing it with his opposite hand as though trying to rub that strange tingling sensation out of the skin. "I have no idea what you're talking about. And don't touch people without their permission, it's rude." Noctis takes a step back, blowing a piece of hair out of his eyes to stall for a moment as he tried to come up with a fake name. His mind whirls through what feels like hundreds of possibilities all at once, sifting through all the names he knew, both foreign and otherwise, before finally blurting out, "It's Leuk," and then immediately having to hold back an embarrassed wince.

 

_Ancient languages? Really?_

 

But the damage is already done. Noctis chances a glance up at Ardyn and finds him doing that creepy "I know something you don't know," smile at him again, but Noctis makes himself maintain eye contact, daring him to comment on the name.

 

"Luke... and do you have a last name?"

 

"Sorry, my parents told me not to give my full name out to strangers," Noctis replies flatly, turning on his heel and ignoring the nagging feeling of how weird it probably was to use parental concern as an excuse as a twenty-year-old, let alone as a thirty-year-old man who also is technically a King and quite literally makes the rules himself.

 

But Ardyn didn't need to know that. And to be honest, Noctis can't actually think of a believable last name anyway. He'd probably just panic and blurt out something like 'Gar' again if he tried.

 

Pseudonyms were never really his strong suit, after all. Prompto hadn't stopped called him 'Mr.. Gar' in the most unbelievably over-the-top fancy accent and then bursting into hysterical laughter (really, it wasn't THAT funny...) for a full week after he had tried the last time.

 

"You may call me Ardyn," Noctis hears him say from behind him, and he raises his hand in a 'thumbs up' gesture to acknowledge that he heard him, but doesn't bother to turn around.

 

"'Ardent,' you got it. See you in a bit, Ardent. Or you know, maybe not. If you don't want to. Don't twist your arm on my account," and with that, Noctis throws open the door to the caravan and lets it slam loudly behind him, sticking his tongue out childishly towards Ardyn through the closed door and then making his way to the bathroom.

 

Maybe by the time he'll have finished his shower, Ardyn will be dead in some Deus ex Machina fashion and this whole thing would be over. That could happen, right? He could just be dead? That could totally happen.

 

\---

 

Ardyn wasn't dead when Noctis got out of the shower. Instead he was draped over one of the beds, legs so long his feet were practically hanging off the end, with a Cosmogony book propped open in his hands and a vaguely amused expression on his face.

 

"Have you noticed that most hotel rooms throughout Lucis keep these in the dressers still?" Ardyn asks conversationally, wiggling the book to indicate what he was talking about but not looking up. "Seems terribly old fashioned if you ask me, though I'm never opposed to reading a bit of high fantasy before bed."

 

Noctis doesn't bother replying, instead continuing to hover awkwardly in the bathroom doorway with one hand clutching the towel around his waist, and the other holding his balled up clothing under his arm. He had realized after getting out of the shower that he didn't have a spare set, and the thought of putting his dusty, sweat-soaked clothing back on made his skin crawl miserably.

 

Ardyn finally glances up at him and seems to realize the situation immediately. "Ah, you'll be wanting to wash those, I'm sure. Not to worry, I just so happen to carry a few spare shirts and trousers with me. Wait here."

 

"Oh, believe me, I'm not going anywhere," Noctis replies flatly, gesturing slightly to his bare chest before flopping down on the unoccupied bed and throwing his clothes onto the ground next to him.

 

"Excellent," Ardyn replies grandly, clearly ignoring Noct's sarcasm, and sweeps out of the camper to presumably go out to the identity crisis he claimed was a car.

 

Noctis lets out a sigh as the door shuts behind Ardyn, gaze drifting around the trailer before falling on the Cosmogony book that Ardyn had left open face down on the bed. He sits up slightly, reaching his arm out to snatch the book up and turning it over, curious as to exactly which page Ardyn had been looking at.

 

_There once lived a man, born to a mortal but blessed with powers divine. Conjuring a collection of glaives he dispelled the darkness plaguing our star. As a reward for his efforts, the god granted him a holy Stone- the Crystal, which he was to guard at all costs, for it would one day choose a King to see us through the coming disaster and lead us to salvation._

 

Ah. Of course. What else would he be sulking over.

 

Noctis' gaze travels to the opposite page, looking at the illustration despite knowing the picture by heart. A young man with curly, reddish brown hair falling around his shoulders was kneeling before the Crystal, the bright blue light bathing him in a mystical glow. One had was clasped in a fist over his heart, the other by his side, and his head was tilted down with his eyes closed in a slight bow. Three figures in armor knelt behind him, each with their hands clasped similarly, bowing deeper from the waist. Noctis runs his hands gently over the glossy paper, then looks up as he hears the camper door screech open once more.

 

"Here we are. You're such a tiny thing, I fear these will probably be a bit too big for you. One makes due with what they have though, yes?"

 

Noctis sets his jaw stubbornly and scowls at "such a tiny thing," (honestly, how fucking DARE HE,) but still snatches the clothing out of Ardyn's hands. "I am _not_ that small, you're just... really tall."

 

"My apologies, I meant no offense."

 

Noct stalks into the bathroom, once again letting the slamming of the door communicate EXACTLY what he thought of the situation without bothering to use his words.

 

\---

 

Noctis sighs as he loads his clothing into a small washer sitting outside the auto shop, having to open the detergent cap with one hand as his other was currently busy trying to hold up the pants that Ardyn had given him. They didn't even pretend to sit on his hips, as Noct had discovered when he first pulled them on only to have them immediately drop back onto the floor with a useless 'whump'. They were a pair of awful maroon silk pajama bottoms, with a matching shirt that had 'A I' in curling cursive script embroidered in gold thread on the shirt pocket. Noctis had nearly screamed at the sight.

 

Even with the drawstring pulled as tight as he could make it, the material bunching up hideously around his waist, they still felt a bit too loose and kept trying to slip over his nonexistent hips. They were so long that they dragged on the floor as well, and while Noct didn't particularly care if he got the bottoms absolutely filthy, he had nearly tripped and snapped his neck clean off when he'd attempted to rebelliously let them fall over his feet as he walked. Out of all of the potential ways to meet his end, breaking his neck from tripping over Playboy Bumblebee style pajamas was at the very bottom of his list, right below 'burning to death' and 'slowly asphyxiating in quicksand'.

 

He slams the washer shut, setting the timer and pulling the shirt back over his shoulder from where it had slipped down to the crook of his arm, then hiking the pants back up over his feet and shuffling towards the camper once more, feeling very much like a small child playing dress up in their father's closet. Which was gross and horrifying to think about in multiple ways.

 

Ardyn, for his part, seems to be doing his best to pretend that he isn't pleased with Noct's clear discomfort, but Noctis can see the slight smirk pulling at his lips from where he's pretending to read the Cosmogony book again. Spotting a bottle on the nightstand next to him, Noctis snatches it up in retaliation, glancing at the label.

 

"Hey, Wiz's Energizing Elixir? I love these things," and the truth is that he actually hates the flavor, but he stares Ardyn hard in the eyes while downing the entire thing anyway, willing his eyes not to water as the carbonation tears ruthlessly down his throat. He pulls his mouth off with a pop and finally shifts his glare away from Ardyn's face to turn towards the trash can, tossing the bottle perfectly into the container without even hitting the sides. After two days of constant acts of fate he's had zero control over, he finds himself embarrassingly pleased as it drops straight to the bottom with barely a clatter.

 

As he goes to sit down on his bed again, he hears Ardyn clear his throat pointedly.

 

"... WHAT." It isn't a question.

 

"Luke... That's the trash can," Ardyn responds gently, as if speaking to an unruly child.

 

"Yeah, what of it?"

 

"Well, you put a glass bottle in the trash. The green can next to it is the recycling. It's important to separate one's trash, we wouldn't want to cause the planet any undue harm, would we?"

 

Noct's jaw drops open, eyes wide and eyebrows scrunching together in an expression of pure aghast fury and blatant disbelief. The absolute unbelievable fucking _**AUDACITY**_ of the Scourge Bringer and effective End of the World DARING to be shameless enough to preach TO ANYONE about the necessity of recycling punches the air right out of his lungs and leaves him completely unable to respond.

 

Ardyn smiles at him placidly, but expectantly.

 

Noctis stares back, mouth still hanging open, before he snaps it shut again, storms over to the trash can, and throws the bottle forcefully into the recycling bin.

 

He might break it open in the middle of the night and use it as a shiv, though. Ardyn wouldn't die, but it would probably hurt a whole bunch, and that was some small consolation.

 

Turning around and finding a bone-deep exhaustion quickly elbowing out his self-righteous fury, he finally dives into the bed and burrows under the blankets, rolling up into them in a half formed cocoon and clutching one well-worn pillow to his chest. "Look, just please don't kill me in my sleep," he mumbles into the pillow, voice so muffled that he isn't entirely sure Ardyn will even be able to hear him.

 

Ardyn chuckles. "My dear boy, if I wanted you dead, I wouldn't need for you to sleep to do so. Believe me when I say that I have no interest in seeing you come to harm."

 

Noctis imagines the 'yet' hanging over them like a stormcloud, but doesn't comment on it. Within moments, he's dead to the world asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, Leukos is supposed to be the Ancient Greek root that turned into Lucis in Latin. Lux, Lucis, and Lumen all seem to mean light in Latin as well, just slightly different versions of it (daylight vs. sources of light, etc?) and I tried to convince myself to make him go by Lux, but I've known too many people who have named their children Luxe and I just couldn't. It sounds absurd to me now. So Leuk it is. It's spelled 'Luke' when Ardyn says it (and from here on out, actually,) because he obviously doesn't know the spelling that Noctis is imagining, and it sounds like his name is just 'Luke' (WHICH ALSO DERIVES FROM LEUKOS ANYWAY ASLKDJF;LDSHGL) (AND ALSO BECAUSE 'LEUK' MAKES ME VAGUELY UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME OF VARIOUS ILLNESSES)
> 
> I also considered naming him Fos (/Phos) wich ALSO means 'light' in Greek??? (Which makes sense. Phosphorous and all that) And I actually kind of visually like Fos more than Leuk? But "Luke" is a more recognizable and believable name, plus I couldn't really figure out the difference between Phos and Leukos to know which would be more widely appropriate to use, so here we are. And yes, I tend to absurdly overthink tiny details that honestly do not matter all that much.
> 
> (All my information was gathered from the most absurdly short Google searches, so if you're someone who actually knows things about languages and wants to let me know how horribly I just messed up, please feel free to let me know. I hate confidently strolling through life with inaccurate information.)
> 
> (PS: thx 4 ur kudos and comments and so on. Y’all are dolls <3)


	4. Chapter 4

Noctis huddles deeper into the absurd silk nightshirt from his place on top of the dryer at the Hammerhead autoshop, watching the sun rise in front of him as he waits for his clothes to finish drying.

 

For as exhausted as he had been the night before, his sleep had ended up being horrible.

 

He dreamt of burning castles, of explosions and the shouts of his friends. He dreamt of Prompto's violet eyes staring at him wildly, of Gladio pushing him to the ground and Ignis crouching nearby. He dreamt of intangible fear and some inherent sense of wrongness he couldn't quite place.

 

He dreamt that same helpless feeling he'd woken up with in Galdin. He dreamt that he failed.

 

A harsh gust of wind blows past and he shivers, the thin silk feeling cold against his skin as he drops his gaze to his knees and kicks one leg out just to hear the heel of his foot make a hollow thump against the metal under him.

 

It's getting harder to ignore the gnawing anxiety that Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto might really not recognize him either. His last journey had by no means been anything close to easy, but he'd at least had his friends every single step of the way. Even after Altissia, when they spent the worst few weeks of their lives feeling angry and hurt and frightened and _devastated_ , they had still been there. They still knew, deep down, that they would be there for each other.

 

He honestly isn't sure that he could do it all over again at all even if he wanted to, let alone doing it by himself in a world that no longer remembers or wants him.

 

The washer grinds to a halt underneath him, an ancient sounding 'ping' noise echoing from it's depths to signal that the cycle had finished, and he bundles his clothing into his arms before trudging his way back to the camper. Opening the door as silently as he can, he slips inside and eases it shut behind him as his eyes dart to Ardyn. He finds the man exactly as he left him, hands laced over his stomach and hat laid over his face, not having even bothered to take off his boots and instead laying on top of the covers with one ankle crossed over the other. Noctis gets the distinct feeling that Ardyn isn't actually sleeping and is just pretending to be, but he pushes it to the side and makes his way to the bathroom to pull his clothing on.

He reenters the room and moves to buckle his sword across his chest next, then hesitates as he considers whether or not to bring the tent with him before eventually deciding against it. Despite the weird nostalgia that tugs at his heart at the thought of leaving behind the home away from home he had shared with his friends, the reality is that he can't carry it with him all over Lucis. It's just too heavy without being able to access his Armiger anymore.

 

Noct pauses at the door for another long moment as his gaze falls once more on Ardyn's "sleeping" form. The man doesn't move a muscle save for the steady rise and fall of his chest.

 

_Does he even really need to breathe?_

 

He feels that strange itching electricity under his skin again, a crawling in his veins like something very much alive is attempting to find a path out of his body as he continues watching Ardyn, and he unconsciously rubs his hands over his arms to try to dispel the sensation. He briefly humors the thought of walking over and pressing his hands against against Ardyn's skin directly to see if it would illicit the same intense feeling that it had the day before, but ultimately decides against it and quietly pushes the door open instead.

 

He's pretty sure there's nothing in this universe that could lead him to willingly touch the Immortal Accursed. Not even for the sake of science.

 

\---

 

Hammerhead, being in the middle of a desert, is at least well stocked to aid travelers. He purchases a map, a military grade rucksack, a single person tent (Noctis sighs in relief at the difference in weight,) a few electrolyte packets, and as many energy bars and bottles of water as he thinks he can realistically carry without collapsing in the middle of the day from the weight. The cashier looks at him questioningly as Noct pays for the huge bill without so much as blinking an eye, but luckily doesn't question him, and Noct murmurs a quiet "thank you" before heading on his way.

 

His best educated guess leads him to start hiking in the direction of Merrioth Haven, the sun already beating down on him miserably despite the early hour. While he technically has no idea exactly what path his three friends are taking, he remembers that particular area being where they had first found Dave, and subsequently the same area that the mutant Dualhorn had been rampaging in. While admittedly not a whole lot to go off of, it's still better than nothing, and he hikes the rucksack higher up on his shoulders with only the faintest groan.

 

And Gladio always accused him of being a whiner...

 

\---

 

By the time Merrioth Haven is in view, Noctis has already completely drenched his fresh clean clothes in sweat again and can feel himself starting to stagger. He had never in his LIFE had to carry provisions around in a rucksack, except for the training that Cor had insisted on every so often what feels like a lifetime ago.

 

 _"You never know. You have to be prepared for anything,"_ Cor had said.

 

And to think that Noctis had dared to snort at the time. Curse the folly of youth...

 

Still, he finds himself with a sudden burst of energy as his eyes catch sight of an extremely familiar tent set up at the haven, three matching camping chairs sitting around in front of it, and a gas stove off to one side. His breath catches in his throat as he takes off on a slow jog, adrenaline driving his feet forward in the total absence of energy.

 

He scrambles up the rocks, spinning around in place when he gets to the top to take everything in.

 

It's definitely, definitely them. It HAS to be. Only Ignis would carry a fully stocked spice rack next to a gas camping stove in the middle of fucking nowhere.

 

So that only leaves figuring out which direction they had headed in this morning...

 

A sudden boom cracks through the air, and Noct's head shoots up in the direction of the noise.

 

_A gunshot._

 

Without sparing a second to think, Noctis drops his rucksack to the ground, turns on his heel, and sprints as fast as he can.

 

\---

 

He spots them as he tops a hill and feels his heart jump again at the sight of them. Gladio is holding off the giant mutant Dualhorn with his greatsword, Ignis cautiously darting in wherever he finds an opening, and Prompto circling wide around them, carefully aiming between the two when the shot is clear. While working in perfect synch with one another, Noct can easily see how weary the three of them are already. The beast had been difficult to take down when it was four of them, and Noctis had always been the one to deal the most damage. With Gladio so distracted trying to block attacks to keep the other two safe, there was only so much Ignis could do with daggers and magic, and the creature was rampaging so much that Prompto seemed to be hesitating to take many shots for fear of hitting them.

 

One hits it's mark though, the Dualhorn roaring in fury as the bullet pierces it's side and rearing away from Gladio to face towards Prompto instead. From up at his vantage point, Noctis can see exactly how the situation is about to play out, and before he can stop to think, he's peeling out of his hiding spot, gravel pouring to the earth below as he skids down the steep incline.

 

"HEY, WATCH OUT," he shouts, grabbing Prompto by the back of his vest the second he's within reach and flinging him out of the way as he pulls out Balmung at the last second, deflecting the monsters horns and stumbling to the side. For a moment he can't help but be struck by just how much more _difficult_ it is to parry an attack without being able to phase, but the next moment he's running to Prompto's side, skidding to a stop and dropping to his knees with his eyes wild.

 

"Are you alright?!" He demands, voice panicked, but Prompto doesn't respond. He's staring at Noct, gaze darting back and forth between his eyes and lips slightly parted in confusion, and for one breathless moment Noctis is _so sure_ that Prompto is going to remember.

 

But then the moment passes, and Prompto blinks before smiling at him shakily, but with the mere politeness that goes along with looking at a stranger as opposed to a friend.

 

Noctis swallows down a lump in his throat, heart aching viciously as it's torn between relief at seeing Prompto unharmed, and finality of knowing that he really, truly is fucked.

 

"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks, I owe you one, dude."

 

Noct forces himself to shake his head, offering a weak smile of his own and a quick "don't mention it," before he drags himself to his feet on legs that feel like they're full of lead. The grief is trying to weigh him down, but he does his best to shake it off as he assesses the situation.

 

Gladio has the creature distracted again, Ignis once more circling it, and if they mind having a stranger suddenly appearing to aid them in battle, neither one of them comment on it.

 

The Dualhorn has it's back to Noctis, and he knows he has to move quickly or the moment will be gone. Without the benefit of warping, Noct lifts his sword again and runs to strike across the back of the creature's legs, darting out of the way when it staggers and kicks backwards in fury.

 

"YOU! SPECS!" he shouts towards Ignis.

 

"I beg your pardon?!" Ignis shouts back, looking affronted.

 

"Spin and hit the creature from behind! I'll link up and attack at the same time. Then Big Guy, you take it down!"

 

"Are you talking to me?" Gladio grunts, sparing Noct a glance but otherwise remaining focused on keeping his greatsword lifted to fend of the monster's enormous horns.

 

"Are you ready? GO!"

 

To his relief, both Ignis and Gladio actually listen to his instructions, Ignis performing the absolute most over-the-top, graceful swooping dive towards the monsters back with his daggers raised. Noct spins the opposite directions, both hits landing on the monster's back legs and sending it to the ground with a mighty roar as it thrashes.

 

Gladio sees his opening and brings his greatsword down hard, though the impact doesn't seem to be quite enough to finish it off, and Noctis darts forward with his sword raised, ready to deal the final blow. Before he can get there, a cracking gunshot pierces the air as a bullet lands directly between the beast's eyes. Noctis looks up to find Prompto with his gun still raised, a bright grin on his face.

 

"BULLSEYE, baby!" he cheers, spinning the trigger guard around his finger before blowing the barrel despite the smoke already having dissipated several seconds ago.

 

Noctis grins in response and turns to the other two. "Really great-... Work..."

 

He trails off as he catches sight of the expressions on their faces. Gladio and Ignis are both staring at him with various levels of confusion and grief, and for a moment he thinks they might actually start crying.

 

"It's... It's uncanny," Ignis says, his normally calm voice admittedly breathless from the fight, but also sounding suspiciously choked as he stares at Noctis with wide eyes and takes several steps forward.

 

Noctis takes a shuddering breath of his own, suddenly feeling overwhelmed as he stares back intently with a whirlwind of emotions swirling inside his chest. Silently begging Ignis to know who he is, and yet at the same time just so happy to see him at all, and so grateful that Ignis, once again, can actually see _him_ , his green eyes clear and sharp again in a way that Noct didn't think they ever would be after the events in Altissia.

 

He moves his gaze to Gladio next, who, unlike Ignis, has remained frozen in place and tense as though ready to fight, but his face looks just as conflicted. His jaw is clenched, face mistrustful and tight, but with a tenseness around his eyes that Noctis recognizes as grief.

 

Gladio had always toughened up and got angry when he was sad, after all.

 

"Iggy. Stop. It's just a coincidence," he snaps out sharply, and Ignis stops in his tracks and blinks hard. He pulls off his glasses and rubs his eyes, then turns his attention towards his lenses as he begins cleaning them on his shirt, and Noct finds himself torn between wanting to laugh and sob again at the familiarity of it. Ignis always cleaned his glasses when he was overwhelmed and needed to stall.

 

"Uhh... Guys? What's- uhh- what's going on?" Prompto pipes up from the background, taking a few hesitant steps forward. "Do you guys know each other or something?"

 

Noctis darts his eyes between Ignis and Gladio again, heart rising further and further in his chest. He swallows, clears his throat once, and swallows again as he tries to will away the aching lump in his throat, before finally forcing out a short, "Nope." And it feels like his heart is actually shattering at the final confirmation of it.

 

"It's nothing, Prompto," Ignis says, voice sounding normal once more as he places his glasses back on his nose. "My apologies sir, you simply bear a striking resemblance to someone that my friend and I once knew. Thank you for helping us."

 

Ignis extends his hand to him, and Noctis hesitantly lifts his own to weakly clasp it and give it a halfhearted shake.

 

"My name is Ignis Scientia. This is Gladiolus Amicitia, and Prompto Argentum."

 

"It's nice to meet you," Noctis responds in a thin voice, but forces himself to meet Ignis' piercing gaze. "I'm... Uhh... Luke?"

 

Prompto snorts. "Are you sure about that? You kinda sounded like you weren't super sure." He shoots Noct an easy going grin to show the comment was made in jest, and Noctis finds himself smiling back at him despite everything.

 

"It's just been a long few days. You honestly have no idea."

 

Gladio comes up from where he's been stiffly watching in the background, intense amber eyes looking Noctis up and down as if weighing him up. "Yeah, that's great. Thanks for the help, but why exactly are you here? Seems kinda convenient that you'd just happen to show up in the middle of the desert for no reason."

 

Noctis lets his hand raise to the back of his neck, nervously rubbing it as he weighs his options.

 

Should he be honest with them? Somehow he doesn't think that would work out so well. Ignis would probably think he was mocking them, Gladio would get angry and think he was a threat, and Prompto would probably be baffled. No, starting off the meeting with "I'm actually your best friend and King from a different timeline and have been sent back in time for reasons unknown presumably to save the world," probably wouldn't go over so well.

 

He takes a deep breath, squares his shoulders, and meets Gladio's gaze evenly. "I was looking for you. I heard you were heading to see Lady Lunafreya in Altissia. I think I have information that might help in ending the war."

 

And he recognizes that going with "mysterious yet hopefully impactful" might not be the best option, but it sure does beat "magical time traveler" at the very least.

 

He thinks.

 

Maybe.

 

All three of them stare at him blankly.

 

_Well fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"He's pretty sure there's nothing in this universe that could lead him to willingly touch the Immortal Accursed. Not even for the sake of science."_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> *Squints at pairings/tags* _"Noctis Lucis Caelum/Ardyn Izunia" "Enemies to Lovers" "Rating May Change"_
> 
> so i might have some bad news for you buddy...
> 
> Lol here have like eighteen scene breaks in a single chapter hatersgonnahate.gif dealwithit.jpeg theyseemerollin.mp3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAN, you guys must really like sad shit feat. the Chocobros, huh? That last chapter got way more kudos and comments than I think any of the other ones since like, the first or second. ALL Y'ALL ARE CRUEL, CRUEL PEOPLE.
> 
> But that's okay, so am I. <3 And it's not getting any less angsty anytime soon. I think we can all admit to ourselves that there's something to be said for sad bois. So with that, let's get this slow, cruel downward spiral into Noct's existential misery started!

Noctis deflates a bit as Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto all remain staring at him blankly after his grand announcement. Gladio, in true Gladio fashion, is the first to speak.

 

"I'm sorry, you think you have some special information for Lady Lunafreya? And who exactly are you again?"

 

Noct clears his throat and awkwardly lifts a hand to point at his chest. "I'm Luke."

 

"Yeah, you mentioned that."

 

Gladio is staring at him so hard that Noctis is almost positive that he's going to catch on fire from his gaze alone, and raises his hand to rub the back of his neck as shifts his weight awkwardly over one foot. "Look, I know it sounds crazy-"

 

"Oh, it definitely sounds pretty crazy."

 

"- but I have to speak to Luna- I mean Lunafreya- WAIT I mean Lady Lunafreya. The Oracle?" Noct stumbles elegantly, his famously silver tongue working overtime. "It's incredibly urgent, and I... I can't speak to anyone else. I'm sorry." He glances up between Ignis and Gladio. Gladio looks fully unmoved, but Ignis at least is nice enough to look perplexed as opposed to murderous.

 

"Lady Lunafreya did mention a fourth," Prompto says from behind them, voice quiet but tone strong as he steps forward.

 

"Oh come on, you can't possibly think this guy is who she was talking about," Gladio growls sharply, still not taking his eyes off of Noctis, but Ignis brings his hand to his chin thoughtfully.

 

"No, he does has a point."

 

"I'm sorry, she what?" Noctis can't help but interrupt, a small well of hope bubbling up inside of him. _Did Luna really expect him? Or did Pryna sense him?_

 

"Don't-" Gladio begins warningly, but Prompto has already moved to face Noct.

 

"She said we'd probably find another on our way to Altissia."

 

"Another... What?"

 

Prompto shrugs. "Who knows. She just said that we'd find another, and that she suspected we would recognize him when we saw him. I don't think visions are typically all that specific, you know?"

 

Noctis gives a startled blink at that, looking back to the other two again to gauge their reactions.

 

Gladio still looks tense, though his shoulders had relaxed slightly out of his 'ready to punch someone' stance, and he'd finally torn his gaze away from Noct in favor of looking to Ignis, who was still looking at the ground and tapping his fingertips against his lower lip thoughtfully. After a long moment, he finally looks back up at Noctis, nodding once firmly as he drops his hand back to his side.

 

"I admittedly can’t explain it, but I'm willing to believe you for now as long as the other two are in agreement." Prompto makes a whoop somewhere off to Noct's right at the announcement. Gladio says nothing, but doesn't disagree either, jaw set and his eyes still regarding Ignis thoughtfully. "But I'm afraid that does not mean we can trust you yet. We'll have to keep a close eye on you at present. I'm sorry, but our current situation is just much too delicate to take any chances."

 

Noctis nods immediately, heart sinking at the thought of his own friends mistrusting him, though logically he completely understands. "Yeah, I get it. Of course."

 

These aren't his friends.

 

"ALRIGHT! The more the merrier, right?" Prompto shouts a little too loudly, once again not seeming to understand the meaning of 'volume control' as he also slaps Noct too hard on the shoulder and nearly sends him straight to the ground (where he probably belongs.) Noctis smiles, never feeling more grateful to be the focus of Prompto's friendly exuberance, bruises and ringing ears and all.

 

"Sure."

 

\---

 

The rest of the day and into the next passes by in a blur.

 

He helps them find several beasts that Takka had given them as hunts. He pretends he doesn't know exactly where each creature is, and even allows himself to be "taken by surprise" and rammed from behind by one of them when they "accidentally" enter it's lair "without realizing it." He isn't entirely sure whether or not he really does it to appear clueless, or if part of him kind of just hopes he'll be trampled to death.

 

He suspects he may just want to be trampled, but compartmentalizes that one before he has time to decide exactly how unhealthy it probably is.

 

He ignores the suspicious looks from Gladio, and the thoughtful ones from Ignis. He pretends the sword he's wielding isn't an ancient and overpowered relic of ages past that could slice through an entire pack of Mesmenirs at once, and that he doesn't have an extra year's worth of experience under his belt and multiple tricks up his sleeve.

 

He forces himself to fight a little awkwardly, and lets himself get hit way too hard by a Saber Tusk that he saw coming from a mile away.

 

He immediately regrets every single one of his decisions (and his life in general) at the resulting sting that tears across his forearm as the little bastard rips at him.

 

He lets Prompto clumsily bandage it afterwards and smiles at the swell of affection he feels at the blonde's readiness to try to make a total stranger feel like an accepted friend.

 

He pretends that he doesn't recognize the Regalia, and that his entire chest doesn't cinch tight in aching nostalgia at the sight of it. He also pretends that the tense silence that follows during the car ride doesn't bother him as three people who are supposed to know him instead feel too awkward to speak openly with one another in his presence, despite Prompto's occasional attempts at conversation.

 

He turns down their clearly hesitant offer to let him stay in the caravan with them when they reach Hammerhead, and assures them that he'll be fine at the nearby campground.

 

He lets Prompto shove some spare clothing into his arms before he leaves, and numbly pulls out his phone to exchange numbers with him at Prompto's insistence. "Just in case, you know?"

 

He pushes aside the empty feeling in his chest as he finds himself alone at another campground, setting up a tent in silence in front of an unlit firepit, and collapses straight into his sleeping bag in filthy clothes despite seeing a text message from Prompto lighting up his phone.

 

He has shapeless nightmares of burning fire and cruel laughter.

 

He wakes up to that omnipresent sense of utter 'wrongness' that's plagued him for the past few days, but gets himself ready to head back to Hammerhead anyway.

 

Three complete strangers are waiting on him, after all, and he doesn't want to make a bad first impression.

 

\---

 

"Ah, good morning," Ignis says when he spots him, a can of Ebony held in his hand. Noctis is too tired and vaguely numb to truly get any enjoyment out of the familiar sight, but it still tickles something deep inside his heart as he flings himself into one of the plastic chairs in front of the camper. "I hope you slept well?"

 

"Oh yeah, great sleep all night over here. I couldn't possibly-" Noctis breaks off with a yawn so wide that his jaw nearly tears off of his face, "-have slept any better," and he slumps forward onto the plastic table between them, the woefully uneven legs tipping dangerously for a moment before finding equilibrium again.

 

He sort of wishes the entire thing had collapsed to the ground and brought him with it.

 

"Gladio and Prompto should be here shortly. I believe Gladio is purchasing our supplies for the next few days, and Prompto is just finishing up his shower."

 

Noctis peeks his head out of his arms to glance up at Ignis with one eye. "... Shower?"

 

He notices a small smile tug at Ignis' lips, though the man tries to hide it by subtly taking a sip from the can in his hand. "Yes. Would you like to take o-"

 

"Yes."

 

Ignis really does smile at him this time in that understated, beautiful way that he always had, and it feels like a temporary balm to Noct's very soul for a moment. "Very well, help yourself once Prompto is finished. But do try to be expedient, we have a long way to travel today."

 

Noctis nods once and grabs the clothing that Prompto had given him yesterday out of his bag. Wallowing in self pity and depression was great and all, but he was starting to feel straight-up sticky at this point and he didn't need his outside looking and smelling as miserable as his inside.

 

\---

 

Prompto offers him a wide smile and a chirped "hey!" as Noct knocks on the caravan door and lets himself in. "Did you see that message I sent you?"

 

"Oh, uhh," Noct fumbles awkwardly for his phone, trying to come up with a believable excuse for why he hadn't even bothered to check it yet, but Prompto barrels straight ahead anyway.

 

"It's adorable! It's a collection of baby chocobo videos! The one at 1:14 is the best, it keeps trying to 'kweh' but doesn't know how, so it just makes these squeaking noises!"

 

Noctis clicks on the video link to indulge him as Prompto leaves his post at the mirror to instead look over Noct's shoulder to watch the video with him. Both of them jump as the video starts and dopey kazoo music comes blaring over the speakers, with Noctis scrambling to turn down the volume as the first few chocobo babies pop up.

 

He smiles as Prompto coos at various parts of the video, letting himself be jostled around by the blonde as he excitedly gestures at the screen, pointing out the best parts and nudging Noctis from time to time.

 

Deep down he knows that Prompto is just trying to make him feel at ease by sharing something dumb with him, but he finds it deeply comforting and appreciates it all the same.

 

"That was... Yeah, really cute," he says in response to Prompto staring at him expectantly, and can't help another smile that tugs at his lips in response to the pleased grin being flashed his way.

 

"I KNOW, right?! Anyway, go ahead and get in the shower; Iggy'll skin us alive if we take too long. He's kind of a stickler like that, but he's actually really friendly once you get to know him, I promise. You'll see!"

 

Noctis shakes his head, still smiling, and makes his way to the bathroom.

 

"I'm looking forward to it."

 

\---

 

When all four of them are appropriately cleaned and dressed, Noctis feeling exceptionally awkward in some of Prompto's clothing (skin tight black jeans that were actually incredibly stretchy, a black tank top, and a long sleeved dark plaid shirt over top of it that he ordinarily wouldn't be caught dead in, but "beggars can't be choosers" or whatever,) they all lean over to observe the map that Ignis has spread over the shitty plastic table. Well, the three others are. Noctis doesn't trust that thing anymore and keeps his distance, but tries to at least appear relatively engaged in the proceedings.

 

"We make for Galdin Quay, a small resort down by the coast that also serves as the port between Altissia and Lucis. From there we will be able to secure passage to meet with Lady Lunafreya."

 

"Yeah, about that," Noctis pipes up, the three others looking up at him seemingly surprised by the interruption. "That isn't going to work."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Well," Noctis swings one arm out, taking a swaggering step, "the boats BRING you there. They shall not take us forth," and at the last word he flicks his wrist grandly.

 

He isn't surprised when the others continue staring at him blankly, but is pleased by his mocking impression anyway. Fuck Ardyn.

 

"... What." Gladio says flatly, and Noctis drops his arms back to his side with a sigh.

 

"The boats aren't running. I just came from there. We'll have to find a different way to Altissia."

 

"Are you absolutely positive," Ignis asks seriously. "There are no other easy ways to Altissia, and this is the path that we were instructed to take. Why would the boats not be available?"

 

Noctis shrugs. "I don't know, but I do know that we won't be getting there from Galdin."

 

The three of them all exchange glances with one another silently, then back to the map as Ignis taps his finger against his mouth in consideration.

 

"I'm afraid we still have no choice: our passage must be from Galdin. Hopefully the ships will be running once more by the time we get there. If not..."

 

"If not, we do our best to convince someone," Gladio finishes for him firmly, and Ignis nods.

 

"Suit yourselves. Just don't be mad at me when you can't force your way onto a ship that isn't there to begin with," Noctis says with a lazy shrug, catching Gladio giving him a hard stare and turning his gaze to meet it evenly.

 

He had forgotten just how much he and Gladio had disliked each other when they first met, back when Gladio thought he was a whiny baby and he just kind of thought Gladio was a dick. Well, the child version of thinking someone was a dick, at least.

 

And this Gladio is clearly none too fond of him already without the years of protective instincts to make up for his irritation at Noct's occasionally bratty attitude. Noctis knows he probably should try to smooth the edges down a bit, but he just can't seem to help himself in his current state of vague apathy. The frustration of feeling completely helpless in a sea of fate certainly wasn't helping him to be tactful either.

 

He sulkily maintains eye contact until Gladio decides to be the bigger man, rolling his eyes and turning towards the Regalia.

 

"You got it, Prince Charmless. If we get to Galdin and can't get a boat, you get to say 'I told you so.' Fair?"

 

"Sure," Noct says, resisting the urge to add "asshole" under his breath.

 

Gladio PROBABLY wouldn't punch him in the jaw, even if he was a stranger that he wasn't particularly fond of, but he wasn't in the mood to push his luck today. Adding a broken jaw to his list of woes wasn't exactly appealing.

 

... He was _TOTALLY_ being a dick though.

 

Noctis kicks a rock next to his foot and follows after him anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, if Square Enix can make game after game that heavily rely on various Deus ex Machina situations to advance the plotline, I can make Ignis' soul vaguely recognize Noctis enough to immediately accept his shitty "I NEED TO SEE THE ORACLE" excuse. A'ight? THEY WERE ALL BEST FRIENDS IN ANOTHER LIFE, THEY "KNOW" EACH OTHER EVEN IF THEY DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER.
> 
> And I still continue to be completely shocked with the kudos/comments that get left, so thank you. I've never been much of a writer (hence the incredibly clumsy sentence structure at points) and was pretty much okay with just vomiting this out of my head just for the sake of getting it out of my constant consciousness, so I'm absolutely shocked that 70+ people have left kudos and 700+ people have looked at it. Crazy shit, mang. Bless <3 <3 <3


	6. Chapter 6

Ignoring the fact that something had been glaringly missing in his life for the past couple of days had been significantly easier when his active consciousness had been swirling with constant panic, but now in the relative peace of the Regalia during the hours-long drive to Galdin Quay, Noctis finds that he can no longer push it aside: the Ring of the Lucii is fucking gone. He'd entertained the possibility of it being locked away somewhere in the Armiger he could no longer access, but he seriously doubts it. Once he'd finally accepted it's power in Zegnautus Keep, he hadn't taken it back off again: Duty came above his own fears and hesitations.

 

He had never been particularly FOND of the ring to be fair; he honestly found it all kinds of creepy and unsettling, actually, and there was a certain amount of resentment that was attached to something that he had directly witnessed drain the life out of his father, and would, in turn, do the same to him. But he'd come to accept and appreciate it's power and necessity, and the symbology of what the ring meant to him in relation to truly being the King. Having his be MISSING was not an option, even if there likely was another one in this reality somewhere.

Him having access to the ring's power isn't what's concerning him, it was someone else potentially having access to it.

 

Noctis flexes his fingers nervously a few times and glances over to look at Gladio on the seat next to him to distract himself. He's had his face resolutely stuck in a book the entire drive so far, practically refusing to acknowledge Noct's existence and spreading his long legs out significantly wider than Noct is entirely convinced he actually needs. Being protective of his friends is one thing, but was the show of dominance via Manspreading _really_ fucking necessary?

 

Noct watches him silently for several seconds before lifting one long finger to flick at the cover of Gladio's book, jostling it forward in the man's grip. Gladio freezes and tenses for a second, before angry amber eyes lift over the pages to glare at him.

 

"What?"

 

"What'cha reading?" Noctis asks innocently, reclining against the side of the car with his head leaning on his palm and what he knows must be an infuriating smile on his face. 'Smug,' actually. He believes the word is 'smug'.

 

"Oooh, I bet it's that Jane Esper romance novel again!" Prompto pipes up from the front seat, spinning around to sit up on his knees and gripping the back of the headrest. Noctis sees one of Ignis' hands tighten on the wheel, the other one lifting to grab Prompto's belt and attempt to yank him back into the seat, but Prompto just holds on tighter and doesn't budge. "He loves that one, I swear he has to have the whole thing memorized by now."

 

"Prom, you know she wrote more than one book, right?" Gladio asks, not looking exactly _embarrassed_ by the turn of events per se, but not looking particularly pleased either. He pauses for a moment, then adds, "but this is one of them, yeah."

 

Noct's irritating grin smoothes into an easy, genuine smile before he can stop himself, eyes drifting fondly over the faint redness in Gladio's cheeks. As much as things change, the more they stay the same, apparently...

 

Gladio can claim that he didn't read the exact same novel over and over again all he wants, but Noctis knows for a fact that the one in his hands was a particular favorite that, while he did venture away from every so often, he always seemed to go back to and re-read every few months, and had since he was in high school.

 

"It's okay," Noct says, voice light and joking, but with with an edge of something so genuine that it makes Gladio look at him with an expression other than suspicion or anger for the first time since they'd met, "I love fishing. I could do it for hours, honestly. Enjoying cheesy romance novels can't be any worse than ACTUALLY enjoying standing on a pier for hours on end doing absolutely nothing, can it?"

 

"They are NOT cheesy," Gladio immediately grumbles in response, rolling his eyes and looking away again, but not before Noctis catches the faintest smile ghost across his lips. He allows himself to watch Gladio for another few moments, gentle smile of his own still spread across his face and enjoying the brief feeling of familiarity and comfort, before dragging his eyes to gaze out towards the scenery again, arm folding to pillow his cheek and hair fluttering in the wind.

 

Every fiber in his body is screaming for sleep, his muscles heavy and eyelids doing their best to slowly slide shut without him noticing, despite Noct's best efforts to cling to his consciousness. He really could almost doze off like this, with the sun warming his skin and the breeze brushing his hair out of his face, but the nagging anxiety of knowing that everything is wrong, the Ring of the Lucii is missing and his powers along with it, only rises higher to the surface the longer he keeps his eyes shut.

 

He opens them with a sigh, dragging himself up to instead slump against the back seat. "Igniiiiis, are we there yet?"

 

"Not yet. Probably another hour yet."

 

Noctis lets a groan rise in his throat, pulling the sleeves of the oversized plaid shirt over his hands and then crossing his arms over his chest as he fidgets.

 

"... What about now?"

 

"Luke, so help me, I will leave you on the side of the road and explain the situation to the Oracle myself if I must."

 

Noctis lets out a louder, longer groan and pretends to sulk, then glances to Gladio out of the corner of his eyes. His nose is back in the book, face partially obscured by the pages, but Noctis is almost positive he can see his face still pulled in a faint smile.

 

\---

 

They reach Galdin by the early evening, sun just beginning to set and bathing the entire resort in a warm, golden glow. Prompto is the first to fling his door open and stumble out, excitement outweighing his body's need to warm up and stretch out after sitting for so long as he spins in a circle to take everything in.

 

"Whoooaaa... It's so pretty," he breathes out, looking so genuinely awed that Noct remembers that this is, once again, the first time Prompto has ever been to the beach. He'd been similarly gobsmacked when he'd seen Galdin the first time they'd gone on their journey.

 

"Indeed, although I hear that Galdin's beauty pales in comparison to Altissia," Ignis supplements as he gets out of the car much more slowly, allowing various muscles to stretch out before standing fully.

 

"No way, seriously? How could that even be possible? Hey, WHOA, look at that!" and with an enthusiastic gesture towards something-or-other, Prompto darts off, fumbling with his camera and tripping dangerously for a moment before righting himself and continuing without ever slowing down.

 

Noctis remains with his head against the back of the seat, watching Gladio exit the car in his peripheral but otherwise keeping his gaze ahead, though not really seeing.

 

_He's just so fucking tired..._

 

"Are you coming, Luke? I thought you couldn't wait to get out of the car an hour ago," Ignis says briskly, arms crossed.

 

"Yeah yeah yeah, I'm c'min'..." Noctis slurs, lifting arms that feel full of sand to grip the headrest in front of him and starting to pull himself up. He doesn't bother opening the door though, instead flopping the top half of his body out of the car and grabbing the side as he slowly oozes his legs over and slides to the ground. Ignis is staring at him blankly as he straightens and begins brushing the dirt off of his pants.

 

"... What?" Noctis asks, blinking up at him and hands stilling, but Ignis just sighs and shakes his head before turning on his heel and walking towards the resort.

Noctis rubs the back of his neck for what feels like the millionth time, rolling his head back and forth as various muscles in his back scream in protest, and then forces his leaden legs to stumble after Ignis' retreating form, barely keeping himself upright and pace noticeably uneven.

 

He might have been touched if he had caught the long, worried look that Gladio shoots him, but he's too preoccupied trying to keep his feet facing forward, and the moment is gone a second later as Gladio shoves his hands in his pockets and instead strides past him quickly to catch up with the others.

 

\---

 

"What do you mean there are no ships available?" Ignis asks the dock attendant, voice even but clearly tight with irritation.

 

"I'm very sorry sir, but I'm afraid they aren't running at this time."

 

"I fucking _told y-_ " Noctis starts, raising himself from where he's been slumped against the counter before Gladio raises a hand and points at him firmly.

 

"DO NOT."

 

"BUT YOU TOLD ME I COULD!" He cries indignantly, voice high and whiny in his current state of utter exhaustion, before he slumps back down onto the counter and lets his forehead hit the wood with a loud 'THUMP'. He can practically feel Prompto wince sympathetically at the sound, but makes no outward sign of any discomfort despite the stinging radiating from his head.

 

He'd do it five more times if he thought he could get away with it without being dragged away.

 

"Is there anyone else we can speak to?" Ignis begins again, and Noctis misses the sharp look that he flashes at both him and Gladio, and the apologetic wince that Gladio gives in return.

"Not today, sir, no. I'm afraid my boss has left for the day. She'll be back at 9:00 tomorrow morning though, if you can wait."

 

"I'm afraid we have no other choice. Thank you for your help."

 

Noctis is vaguely aware of the sound of shuffling around him, but remains puddled on the counter, eyes drifting shut as his consciousness wavers. _Just need a minute... Just a little longer..._

 

"Luke? Luke, we're leaving."

 

He doesn't respond to Ignis' voice. He isn't Luke, he's Noctis.

 

"Luke," and Ignis is gripping his arm now.

 

He jolts up, eyes wild for a second as he remembers where he is and who he's supposed to be, then nods and mumbles a quiet "sorry," at Ignis and tears himself away from the counter without another word.

 

\---

 

Noctis sets up camp with the others in what feels like a dream, putting together his single person tent across the campfire from the one the other three share. He awkwardly allows himself to acknowledge just how weird it is to have his tent feel less like home than the tent he's no longer allowed in, but he pushes it to the side and zips the flap up behind him after throwing his bag inside.

 

The fire in the pit is actually lit this time, courtesy of Gladio, and Ignis is once again bustling around the small gas stove as he thoughtfully picks out various spices and ingredients to make dinner with.

 

"Any preferences?" He asks in the vague direction of Noctis without lifting his gaze from the spice rack as Noctis lets himself collapse his full weight into one of the camping chairs by the fire.

 

"Not really... Just no carrots. Or cucumbers. Or radishes. Or greens- ooo, ESPECIALLY no greens. ... Corn is okay though." Noctis pointedly ignores the disapproving glance that Ignis shoots him, throwing his head against the back of the chair lazily and raising his phone up high to scroll through it one-handed.

 

"I-... shall endeavor to do my best to accommodate you," Ignis finally says, seeming perplexed but turning back to the stove anyway.

 

Noctis can hear Prompto and Gladio making a racket together somewhere off in the distance as he tries to focus on the webpage he's been looking at, Prompto's excited whoops occasionally cutting through the deep, irritated sounding rumble of Gladio's voice.

 

"Prompto, quit cheating!"

 

"How about you make me, tough guy?!"

 

A peal of laughter and an irritated yell follows, and Noct drops the hand holding his phone to his chest as his eyes slide shut and his head lolls heavily to one side. Gladio had never been much of a sore loser (to be fair though, he very rarely had to opportunity to be as he didn't often lose PERIOD in his life, the perfect asshole of an Adonis,) but if there was one thing that had always set his teeth on edge, it was playing King's Knight with Noctis and Prompto. The current shouting reminds Noct so much of past times spent around the campfire, he and Prompto ganging up on Gladio and high fiving each other while Gladio roared at them to knock it off and Ignis did his best to step in and play peace keeper, that a lazy smile slowly spreads across his face and a single exhausted huff of laugher escapes him.

 

"Wow, Prompto must really be kicking his ass this time, huh? Is he playing his rogue or his paladin character?" Noctis mumbles, eyes still shut and smile on his face.

 

Expecting to hear Ignis chuckle in response, his eyes barely crack open in confusion at the silence he's met with, before Ignis cautiously says, "My apologies, his what?"

 

For the second time today, Noctis startles up, sitting up in his chair and hazy, dreamlike state shattering to the ground around him.

 

_No, no, this is wrong. Everything is all WRONG-_

 

"Uhh. Never mind. I was- sorry- I was thinking of someone else," he responds quietly, fidgeting uncomfortably and straightening his back.

 

Ignis nods hesitantly, then turns back to the stove. "I believe Gladio is attempting to further train Prompto in close range combat, but it would appear that Prompto keeps dodging all of his grapples," he explains, leaning forward slightly to glance around the tent towards where the two are training.

 

Noctis ignores the ache in his chest, a feeling that's becoming so familiar that it's more of a quiet acceptance at this point, and huffs out another laugh that he doesn't totally feel at the mental image.

 

"... Typical," he says lightly, and Ignis, at least, smiles back at him genuinely.

\---

He dreams again of fire. Burning his flesh to ash, leaving nothing behind but oily cinders, and cruel eyes stare down at him. Hands brushing over his face, the counterpoint of gentle touches in comparison to the agony of his very being almost more painful than being struck. Words being murmured in his ear, warm breath curling against his skin, tone a mockery of love as those same hands pet over his hair, but he can't understand what they say.

 

When he wakes, it isn't with a start. Just opens his eyes slowly to see the pre-dawn light crawling through the mesh of his tent, the echoes of cruel laughter still ringing in his head as though carrying through into reality.

 

Noctis remembers that he failed.

 

\---

 

When he finally manages to drag himself out of the tent a few hours later, having fitfully drifted in and out of consciousness as nightmares weaved their way through his mind, he finds all three of the others already outside sitting and standing in complete silence.

 

Prompto is in one of the chairs, arms huddled around himself despite the warm breeze as he stares blankly at the the fire pit. Gladio is in the one next to him, elbows leaning forward on his knees and brows furrowed. Ignis is in front of the stove, the day's paper clutched in his left hand while he reaches behind himself to touch the metal behind him as though to steady himself.

 

"... Wow, you guys all look as shitty as I feel. What's going o-... Oh. ... _OH_. Oh Gods..." Noctis feels as though he's been punched in the chest as his eyes actually bother to linger on the paper in Ignis' hand.

 

_"INSOMNIA FALLS"_

 

He looks over each of their faces, seeing shock and anger and fear in various levels on each, though none of them spare him a glance.

 

Noctis taking several jerking steps towards Ignis, holding his hand out towards the paper still clutched in the other's grips. Green eyes move to his face for a brief moment, then look back to the firepit as he hands the newspaper over to Noctis.

 

_"As treaty room tempers flared, blasts lit the night sky. When the smoke about the Citadel had cleared, the King was found dead."_ Noctis barely manages to read, his hands shaking so hard that the paper vibrates in his grip. 

 

"We should have been there," Gladio grinds out at length, voice shaking slightly. Ignis shakes his head in response.

 

"We had no way of knowing that the King had planned to meet with Niflheim after we left."

 

"There has to be a mistake," Prompto says in a small voice from his spot in front of the chair, "it just can't be possible. We were supposed to meet with Lady Luna-"

 

"That was the plan, but the reports of the invasion are all the same. How could every headline in the Kingdom be wrong?"

 

They all fall into a tense silence again as Noctis reels in his spot, this bizarre mirrored image of one of the worst days of his life leaving him feeling dizzy and sick, incapable of finding his voice to speak with.

 

"We can't be sure until we see it with our own eyes."

 

Noctis takes a shuddering breath at Gladio's voice, eyes pinching shut and shaking his head as much as he dares to with vertigo trying to bring him to his knees. "No. There's no reason to go back. Insomnia fell, it's over."

 

"Yeah? And what would you know about it, since you apparently have so much _important_ information to give to the Oracle about the war?" Gladio says loudly, standing up and spinning towards Noctis so suddenly that the chair clatters to the ground.

 

Grief flashes to rage inside of Noctis in response and he rounds on Gladio, standing up straight. "What, you think looking at a smoldering hunk of rubble will bring the people you love back? The dead are already gone, and there's nothing that you or I or ANYONE can fucking do about it. Seeing it for yourself changes _nothing._ "

 

"STOP," Ignis cuts in loudly, raising his hand between them. Both freeze instantly at the command, but their eyes remain locked on one another. "Arguing now isn't going to help anything, we need to formulate a plan."

 

"I agree with Gladio," Prompto says suddenly, cutting through the tension. Noctis pulls his gaze away from Gladio to instead look at him. His head finally raised, he looks them each evenly in the eyes, voice quiet but firm. "We should go back to Insomnia."

 

"It might not be safe for us there-"

 

"It might not be safe for us _here_."

 

Noctis feels his knees shake. He wants to sink to the ground, let it swallow him up for good as he screams and cries what feels like a lifetime of frustration and grief out of his soul. Instead he deflates, pressing the palms of his hands over his face as though to push the feelings back inside of himself, doubling over and taking several deep, shuddering breaths.

 

The Gods must truly be more cruel than Ardyn if he's to relive every one of his nightmares and failures over again. And why? To punish him? What had he _ever_ done except try to live his life to their exact specifications? What had he done other than throw himself onto the sacrificial funeral pyre for the sake of everyone he ever loved? Why make him see the physical manifestations of one of his first and greatest failures _again?_

 

"... Alright. Then we head for Insomnia," Ignis murmurs quietly.

 

Noctis chokes back what threatens to turn into a heaving sob and lets himself sink the rest of the way to the rock under him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEW LADS so that got a little melodramatic huh? Gross. It's done now, though, and we can all move on with our lives.
> 
> I promise I'll work Ardyn and all his irreverence back into the story as soon as I can.
> 
> Also, I might go through and combine some of the earlier chapters together. Probably chapters 1+2, and 3+4. All of them are really short (1000-2000 words each,) and I don't see why they couldn't be edited together... I know when I'm deciding to read a fic, seeing "Chapters: 32/?" is kind of intimidating regardless of the word count, so with how long this fic may end up being, I kinda want to condense where I can. It would delete comments though, I think, so I'm not sure. Just be aware that if the number of chapters suddenly seems smaller, it was just me messing around with formatting.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this chapter. Just take it, I don't want to look at it any more. *"""Accidentally""" drops into trash can while handing it over* Whoops

A sort of shellshocked silence fills the car on the drive back to Insomnia, an unspoken buzz of anxiety settling over each of them as they all seem to get lost in their own thoughts.

 

Ignis appears mostly calm, though his tight grip on the wheel of the Regalia and the thin line of his mouth is a testament to exactly how tumultuous his emotions are. Noctis finds himself reminded of the time they unexpectedly discovered his apparent allergy to eggplant when he was a child. As his face had swelled and airways constricted, Ignis had managed to stay steadfast and calm through the entire ordeal of getting Noct quickly and safely to the nearest hospital, and while the memory is clouded somewhat by the fact that Noctis had been a little more concerned with whether or not he was about to _die,_ he remembers the only outward expression of just how worried Ignis really was during the situation was how thin his mouth was. In the end he had been fine, save for a lifelong mistrust of vegetables and a fairly traumatic experience filed away in the recesses of his psyche, but ever since then Noct had been able to spot Ignis' signs of stress from a mile away.

 

Noctis glances over to Prompto next, and feels like he should be surprised to find him looking surprisingly relaxed, but he isn't. Most people seemed to assume that Prompto's constant exuberant energy meant that he was also a ball of anxiety as well, and while that was certainly true in some situations, Noctis had found that during times where others were outwardly stressed, Prompto had an incredible ability to stay calm and hopeful, morphing seamlessly from a cheery airhead to a quiet sort of optimistic strength. He can see the stress around his eyes, the slight wrinkle between his eyebrows and the fidgeting of his fingers as he stares forward through the windshield, but otherwise he practically looks more put together than any of them.

 

Gladio is staring out the window when Noctis drags his gaze to him, elbow leaning on the armrest of the door and jaw planted on his palm so his face isn't visible. His foot is bouncing up and down on the floorboard though, and Noctis can practically feel the frustration seeping out of his being. Gladio's calm during stressful situations had been hard taught, and while he'd always fulfilled his duty as Shield to the King excellently, remaining calm where Noctis couldn't, Noct remembers that it hadn't been an easy path to get there. Allowing himself to admit weakness was difficult for someone like Gladio, who had practically been bred to have a deeply protective instinct for his friends and those weaker than him. To sit silently in a car, full of dread and frustration, driving the long, long drive back to see your home razed to the ground while you stand helplessly by, had to be one of his worst nightmares.

 

Noctis can't find it in himself to feel much of anything at this point as he pulls his eyes away from Gladio to instead look back outside of the windshield, raindrops splattering on the glass and immediately being dragged sideways from the speed the car is traveling. His chest is swirling with the empty sort of calm that follows crying for hours on end until literally nothing remains, though he had never actually cried and it feels more like the silence before the storm more-so than any sort of genuine peace. He hasn't even spoken since the blow up at the camp, just silently packed his things together and left towards the Regalia without a single word as the three others finished getting everything else together.

 

He had sat numbly in the Regalia for what felt like an eternity after that, eyes hardly blinking and never moving from his knees until the rest of the group finally made their way over and got settled for the long drive "home".

 

Noctis watches as a flash of lightning tears across the sky, mindlessly counting the seconds it takes for the boom of thunder to follow and losing himself in his own thoughts again. _1... 2... 3... 4..._

 

Did it still count as home if the body that had actually belonged here was entombed somewhere underneath the Citadel? Did he still count as the King of Lucis in his father's place if he had also died more than ten years ago?

 

 _5... 6..._ A weak crackle of thunder finally reaches his ears, and Noctis lets his eyes slip closed and his forehead press against the cold glass of the windshield, the chill helping to ease the seemingly constant migraine that had started building since this morning and distracting him temporarily from the circling thoughts in his head.

 

\---

 

Another half hour passes in silence before several enormous airships pull overhead, moving slowly and ominously through the air in a way that almost seems to defy gravity itself.

 

"Look at the size of those things," Gladio speaks up for the first time in hours, voice hoarse from either misuse or grief, but Noctis isn't entirely sure which.

 

"Those are Imperial Dreadnoughts. The Empire uses them to transport their army, mostly the MT units," Noctis says quietly, recognizing them immediately.

 

Gladio lets out a disgusted growl. "The robots?"

 

"Mass produced Humanoid weapons of warfare, to be more precise." Ignis corrects, and Noct can't stop himself from looking to Prompto with his stomach suddenly twisting itself into knots. Prompto looks tense, though otherwise blissfully clueless, and the cruel knowledge that one day Prompto is going to learn exactly what that barcode on his wrist means makes Noctis want to scream _for_ him. Nobody deserved to be mentally and emotionally tortured with feelings of total dehumanization and abandonment, but Prompto least of all. Not Prompto.

 

The blonde jumps as Noct's eyes are still wearily trained on him, pointing forward through the front windshield and Noctis finally looks away to take in the upcoming blockade. "Up ahead!" 

 

Rows and rows of MT's and suits of Magitek armor patrol up and down the highway, inhuman in their absolute uniformity, and Ignis pulls to a sudden stop just out of range.

 

"They've set up an inspection point," Ignis says stiffly, grip tightening further on the steering wheel as he weighs their options.

 

"Oh nooo," Noctis supplements helpfully in a deadened monotone. He sees Gladio shoot him a look, but chooses to ignore him to instead turn his head to gaze back out the side window once more.

 

Honestly, who fucking cared about a few MTs? The little bastards could barely aim and were more a threat in their numbers, not their ability to hit the broadside of a barn. The other three didn't know that yet, but Noctis was hard pressed to pretend to be shocked and concerned at their presence. Fuck 'em. Send an army of them, really. He could use some practice dummies to work off some of the emotions that he was pushing aside via unhealthy coping mechanisms.

 

"If the road ahead is blocked, then we find a way around," Gladio finally says firmly, and Ignis nods in agreement before turning down the bumpy dirt side street towards the overlook.

 

"Let's make a detour. There ought to be a decent vantage point up ahead."

 

Noct keeps his eyes gazing out the window in a show of apathy, but his muscles tense in his seat as he mentally prepares himself for what he knows lies ahead. There's not one single fiber in his being that has any desire to see the cloud of ash that he knows is curling up from the city, but if they're going to force him to do it anyway, then he's going to get there his way.

 

The moment Ignis slows to a stop, Noctis rips the door open and takes off at a sprint, ignoring as Ignis shouts after him in surprise and visually mapping out his moves through the area in front of him. He takes the steps up to the barricade three at a time, and it doesn't even occur to him that he's left his sword behind in the car until he's already launching himself at the first MT he sees.

 

He takes it to the ground easily before any of the others making their patrols have even noticed him, raising his foot and bringing it down hard enough to smash straight through the daemonic machine's face plate, circuit boards fizzling and sparking as they shatter under his heel. It emits a series of shrill beeps as it's processes shut down, and Noctis winces as he notices that it's drawn the attention of another nearby MT. It turns slowly, red, pupilless "eyes" scanning the area before homing in on him and raising the weapon in it's hands to aim towards Noct's chest.

 

Noctis grabs the rifle of the MT under his foot, darting behind a crate as the second one begins to fire, then stands up and uses the crate to steady his arm underneath him as he unloads every single round into the magitek trooper in front of him. It goes down after two, but he unloads all five into it anyway.

 

He jerks in surprise as a large hand suddenly claps over his shoulder and yanks him back so hard that he stumbles, flipping the rifle around in his hands in the blink of an eye and raising the butt of it to strike with, but then stops as he sees Gladio staring down at him furiously with his teeth bared.

 

"What the _FUCK_ is your _PROBLEM?!_ " Gladio shouts, his other hand coming down on Noct's opposite shoulder to shake him hard enough he can feel his teeth clacking together as he clenches them, "We'll be lucky if the entire army doesn't know we're here because of you! You could have gotten yourself AND us killed!"

 

Noctis bares his own teeth in response and slaps Gladio's hands away, taking a step back. He doesn't let himself dwell on the fact that he hadn't been included in Gladio's "us." Still a singular stranger.

 

"Fuck you, you want to see the city? Let's go see the fucking city," Noctis hisses in response, tensing once again as Gladio looks like he might actually strike him before Ignis steps forward and lays a hand on Gladio's arm to calm him.

 

And uneasy silence stretches the air as Gladio and Noctis stare at each other, before he sees Prompto step up to him out of his peripheral, an unreadable expression on his face as he offers Noct's sword to him. "Hey, you, uhh... Left this in the car."

 

Noctis feels his whole body deflate as he looks to Prompto, immediately filled with guilt as he sees the uncomfortable tension around his violet eyes. Instead he takes a long breath, accepting his weapon with a nod and then clipping it back across his chest. "Yeah, thanks... Sorry. I shouldn't have freaked out like that, I'm-..." He glances once more to Prompto, then to Gladio next, forcing himself to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry, you're right," he says again, and sees Gladio's shoulders drop.

 

"Look, just don't go running off on your own like that. We have to work together if we're going to make it out of this all alive. We're all on edge, but we can't afford to lose our cool." Noctis nods his head, and Gladio nods back once in response, a silent agreement to put the situation behind themselves for now.

 

Satisfied that Gladio and Noctis aren't going to come to blows, Ignis releases his grip on the other man's bicep and adjusts the glasses on his face. "The overlook isn't too far ahead, and these appear to be rather low level MTs blocking the way. If the four of us stick together, we should be able to cut a path through. Gladio, you'll take the lead and deflect any MTs with close range weapons. Luke and I will follow and bring down the ones on the ground. Prompto, you take the rear and focus on any that have long range weapons, or are out of range for close range combat."

 

Noctis resists the urge to argue that he could probably cut through every single one of them and have the other three just follow along if they wanted, and instead nods his head along with the others.

 

The next push goes by quickly, Noctis barely focusing on his attacks and a nauseous feeling settling in his stomach somewhere between dread and impatience as they get closer to the vantage point. At one point he gets so distracted that he almost allows himself to get hit by one of the MT's firing at them, before Prompto notices and changes targets mid-aim to instead take down the one lifting their rifle towards him. The last second target change means that the one Prompto had originally been aiming for has time to turn and fire at him, the blonde's pained cry as a bullet grazes his arm sending an avalanche of ice cold fear shooting through Noctis as he turns to see the gunner take aim and bring the MT down before it can get another shot off.

 

Prompto's already raising his hands to signal he's okay even as Noctis runs to him.

 

"I'm fine, I'm fine, let's keep going," Prompto assures him, clapping him on the shoulder and running after Ignis and Gladio.

 

Noctis swallows down his feelings of rage and sickness at the knowledge that Prompto wouldn't have been hurt at all if he'd just been paying attention like he was fucking _supposed to be,_ shoving his guilt to the side once more and then jogging after them as well.

 

The dread that's been fighting for dominance in Noct's consciousness reaches a fever pitch as they take down the last of the MTs minutes later and start jogging up the slight incline towards the vantage point, legs feeling heavier and heavier as his subconscious fights to keep him away from what waits for them at the top. He almost slips in the mud as he struggles to force his legs to keep up with the others, every atom in his body rebelling against his instructions and wanting to turn tail and run instead.

 

He hears the faint collective intake of breath from the three others as they finally crest the top of the hill, all slowing to a stop as they take in the sight before them, but Noct hangs back at first. Prompto is just up ahead, scrambling to pull his phone out in a desperate attempt to find a news article that can explain exactly what's going on, but Noctis is too distracted by the smoke he can already see curling ominously towards the clouds to hear the report playing over the speakers at first.

 

_"-As for ceasefire discussions between the two nations, all provisional terms have been suspended in light of the recent developments. Moreover, in the wake of the news of King Regis' death, we've now received word that the Oracle, Lunafreya, has also been pronounced dead. The whereabouts of Lord Scientia, Lord Amicitia, and Mr. Argentum, who were scheduled to meet with Lady Lunafreya the following week in Altissia, are currently unknown."_

 

Gladio already has his phone desperately pressed to his ear to Noct's right, and Ignis is pulling his phone out of his pocket to his left, though he can barely see either of them with his eyes so focused on the smoldering remains across the river.

 

The city looks so small with so many skyscrapers tumbled to the ground and both the Old and New Walls conspicuously missing.

 

"Hello, Marshal?" Ignis' voice is clipped, strained, but with a trained air of calm over it despite the circumstances. "We're outside the city at present. Every entrance has been fully blocked off by MTs; it would appear that there is no way back inside." There's a lull as Ignis seems to be listening to whatever Cor is saying on the other end of the line. Noctis sinks to his knees, not caring about the mud, eyes now gazing towards the bridge and the graveyard of cars piled up practically on top of one another in a grim representation of absolute chaos.

 

He remembers when they had finally made it back to Insomnia to finally face Ardyn, ten years of suffering later, and walking through the remnants of a city full of panic. The eerie calm of a city long dead, but abandoned in a permanent state of confusion. Cars filled with the belongings of people who never even had a chance to get out in time.

 

Noctis' head hurts.

 

"Yes, I understand. We will meet with you there. Thank you, Marshal." Ignis pulls his phone from his ear slowly, ending the call and eyes hesitantly remaining locked on the grass for several seconds before looking up towards Prompto and Gladio. "We are to head back to Hammerhead for now. The marshal will be waiting for us there."

 

"And the King?" Gladio asks softly, voice barely carrying above the sound of the rain hitting against the ground.

 

If Ignis responds, Noctis neither sees nor hears him. He's shut his eyes, hands clamped lightly over his ears to try to quell the migraine-induced nausea crawling up his throat and teeth grinding together.

 

He feels a gentle touch to his arm and jerks in surprise, eyes shooting open to find Prompto with his hand outstretched in the air towards him as though dealing with a wounded animal that might lash out at any moment. Seeing Noctis make eye contact, he cautiously places his hand back onto Noct's arm, gaze darting back and forth between Noctis' eyes to gauge his reaction.

"It's going to be okay," he offers quietly, and Noctis finds himself stuck between wanting to laugh derisively, and just wanting to yell.

 

 _"It's going to be okay,"_ what absolute bullshit. Only someone speaking from a lifetime of relative comfort could ever so blandly put forward that an entire city burnt to the ground was "going to be okay." Thousands of lives lost, but it would "be okay."

 

He knows deep down that Prompto is just trying to do something- _anything_ \- to ease Noct's clear distress, but it doesn't stop him from angrily shrugging the hand back off of his shoulder and quickly getting to his feet again. He gives the city one last look, eyes dragging slowly from one side to the other and taking in every single detail of destruction, filing it away to add to his laundry list of reasons EXACTLY why he was going to make Ardyn suffer, before turning on his heel and silently making his way back to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this... This did not come out easily. It was pretty agonizing, actually. I hate having to keep my insanity completely in check, and I don't think there was a single stupid joke in this ANYWHERE. I'm also not a fan of like, "here's basically a rehashing of shit you already know," but it's kind of unavoidable to a certain extent in time travel AUs I think. I also _**HATE**_ trying to write anything angsty that I can't insert a certain level of irreverence into because I feel like it just all comes out very... "Crawling in My Skin," if you will, so it was just... This was difficult.
> 
> This should be the last chapter that will super closely follow the games timeline at least. And I promise that butts will be touched at some point in the near future. But I didn't actually make a draft or anything, I just know where it's going, the big events that will take place, and the approximate pace I want it to get there, sooo... Yeah... ... Maybe I should do that, actually. Like, stop being stubborn and draft out the story...?
> 
> ...
> 
> How the fuck do you draft a story...?


	8. Chapter 8

It’s still raining by the time they get back to Hammerhead.

 

Noctis had ended up VERY much regretting sitting on his knees in the mud in front of Insomnia, the combination of wet shirt and muddy clothing sticking to his skin leaving him shivering and miserable the entire car ride. Gladio had even asked Ignis to pull the car over at one point, silently getting out and rifling through the trunk for a minute, then getting back inside and throwing a well-worn leather jacket over Noct's shoulders without saying a word. He had resolutely kept his eyes out the window when Noctis had looked up at him in surprise, but had at least rumbled out a quiet, "don't mention it," when Noctis had thanked him.

 

Now pulling up to the Hammerhead garage, Noctis unconsciously pulls the jacket around himself a little tighter as his eyes scan around anxiously for Cor.

 

Gladio hadn't learned to be mistrustful of strangers on his own: his paranoia had been taught to him by the Kingdom's leading expert in the area of Deep Seated Mistrust of Strangers, with the Immortal not exactly known for welcoming newcomers with open arms. Although Noctis hasn't considered it before now, there's a very real chance that Cor might not be quite as accepting of his presence as Ignis had been, and if that ended up being the case, he's going to be in very real trouble.

 

He spots Cor waiting stiffly in front of the garage, starting a little when he sees Cor's sharp blue eyes quickly glance at the passengers in the car and then immediately home in on him with uncanny speed despite the dark tint of the windows. Like some sort of Interloper Detection robot.

 

Honestly it was fucking _absurd_ how quickly Cor could process, "one of these is not like the others," situations. Having that talent on your side was great and all, but being on the receiving end of one of the Immortal's completely unsympathetic, unblinking (no seriously, did he ever blink? Or had he evolved beyond that basic human function at fourteen when he apparently turned into the world's first legitimate super soldier?) stare made Noctis deeply uncomfortable, even with the relative barrier of the car windows still in place.

 

"Ah, marshal," Ignis begins as he steps out of the car, and Cor keeps Noctis pinned in place for several more seconds with his eyes before turning his gaze to Ignis instead, "I hope you're well."

 

"I'm fine. And who, exactly, is that?" Cor gestures towards Noct as he unwillingly steps out of the car.

 

"His name is Luke. We believe he may be the one that Lady Lunafreya has been expecting."

 

"That's me," Noctis raises his hand in a half wave, though his fingers immediately crumple and he awkwardly lowers his hand again when Cor shoots him a look so sharp that Noctis can feel his very soul wilting, "I'm Luke."

 

Cor takes several steps forward, eyes never leaving his face. Noctis shifts uncomfortably, glancing to the side nervously. "Are you." Cor says, and Noctis knows he isn't actually asking. He does, at length, manage to raise his eyes back up to meet Cor's gaze, though if he has to do it slightly through his eyelashes with his head lowered, that's his business.

 

"So I'm told. About the Oracle, I mean. I need to talk to her, and it sounds like she needs to talk to me too, so..." Noctis does another one of those vague hand-wavey gestures he's found himself relying on more and more now that his entire world has been turned upside-down and he never has any idea what the actual fuck is going on or how to explain what he's trying to say.

 

Cor sighs and looks back to Ignis. "If you truly believe him to be the one that the Oracle spoke of, then he's your responsibility. I'm trusting you to take care of him if anything happens," and Noctis can't decide if he feels more like he's listening to a parent negotiate the terms of keeping a puppy that their wayward child has found and brought home, or a prisoner of war who's likely to be executed at any given moment.

 

"I understand, marshal. We will treat the situation with care, as always."

 

"And if anything _does_ go wrong, I'll handle it," Gladio finally speaks up from the other side of the car.

 

Okay, maybe more along the lines of 'prisoner of war'...

 

"Guys, come on, you sound like you're all just waiting to break his neck. Luke is cool! We watched chocobo videos together!" Prompto pipes in.

 

"Thank you, Prom," Noctis says tiredly, still looking at Cor. "The one at 1:14 was the cutest. It was learning how to 'kweh'."

 

Prompto cheers. Cor looks unmoved. Noctis is unsurprised.

 

Cor sighs and shuts his eyes, and Noctis can practically sense the tension headache forming behind his eyes, his own roaring back to full strength in a valiant show of support.

 

"Regardless, make sure to keep an eye on him. We can't take any chances at this stage. The Kingdom is in chaos, and we can't afford to make any mistakes."

 

All three nod, though Prompto does so reluctantly, and Noctis shifts his weight uncomfortably.

 

Although it certainly could have gone worse... He was still standing at least.

 

Luckily Ignis is quick to break the tension by making a quiet hum, and Noctis relaxes with a loud exhale of breath as everyone's attention is turned away from him finally. "And what should we do now that Lady Lunafreya has...?" he begins and then trails off rather uncharacteristically, seeming to be unwilling to finish his sentence, though Cor is already shaking his head anyway.

 

"We have very good reason to believe that the reports being spread are incorrect and that she's being sheltered once more in Altissia. You four will continue making your way there for now."

 

"You aren't coming with us? What are you gonna do?" Prompto asks, his voice sounding hesitant and just a little bit hopeful, and Noctis finds himself wanting to snort and roll his eyes. 

 

Prompto and his stupid puppy crush on the Immortal... Or maybe just hero worship, not so much crush? He isn't sure, but HIS Prompto had certainly been starstruck by Cor from the very moment he had met him, and it seemed like this one wasn't much different.

 

Gross.

 

"I'll keep an eye on the Nifs. Find out what they're up to." Cor begins to turn towards an inconspicuous black car parked in front of the garage as he speaks, "But you should focus on your own task. I'll contact you when I have more information."

 

"Hey, marshal, wait," Gladio suddenly says quietly as Cor turns to leave. Cor slows to a stop, looking back expectantly to where Gladio hovers somewhat uncomfortably next to the Regalia. For once, he looks incredibly unsure of himself, and Noctis can't help but be struck by just how _young_ he is again, so different from the battle-worn man he had come to know right after he'd finally been released from the Crystal. "Have you... Heard anything about Iris?"

 

Cor pauses, then shakes his head. "I haven't, I'm sorry."

 

Noctis can tell that Gladio is doing his best to remain stoic as he nods, but he can see the worry and frustration in his body language.

 

Cor seems to as well as he continues to look at Gladio for several moments before turning back and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Monica and Dustin were sent to escort her out of the city as soon as the violence broke out. I have absolute faith that they got her out safely, and you should too."

 

Gladio's throat bobs as he swallows, nodding a short bow to Cor as the other man lifts his hand from his shoulder. "Thanks, marshal."

 

Cor turns to take his leave once more, making it several steps before saying over his shoulder, "I believe refugees are heading for Lestallum, and Monica had plans to take Iris with them. Why don't you four head there and see if you can't meet up with them? We need time to find another method of getting you to Altissia anyway."

 

Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto all look between each other as though confirming the plan without speaking, but Noctis has already wordlessly thrown a thumbs up in the air and begun leaning down to collect his things out of the car. "Sounds good to me, let's do it. I'll go rent the caravan for you guys and head to the campground, it's getting dark out." And with that, he slings his bag over his shoulder and makes his way towards the familiar camper, hands shoved in his pockets as he vaguely whistles Wiz's Chocobo Jingle to himself that's been stuck in his head ever since that ride with Ardyn a few days ago. Because apparently he can't be free of the man even when they aren't physically in one another's presence.

 

... Would Ardyn be waiting for them in Lestallum again when they got there? ... Naaah, probably not, right? Surely the Chancellor of Niflheim would have something else- literally ANYTHING ELSE- going on that was more important than showing up and ruining Noct's life, right?

... Right?

 

He heaves out a resigned sigh.

 

Ardyn's whole existence revolved around ruining Noct's life, and he was totally going to be there when they got to Lestallum.

 

\---

 

Several hours later, Noctis finds himself alone in the camper as Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto have all decided to head over to Takka's for one last meal before finally leaving Leide for the foreseeable future. Noctis had been invited, but had politely declined (well, okay, he had grunted and shook his head.)

 

The last thing he wanted at this point was to have to pretend he was normal and everything was normal and things were as they should be and that he didn't know that Prompto's favorite arcade game was Chrono Catastrophe 2, Gladio was secretly afraid of heights, and that Ignis had a scar on his left thumb from when he'd been bitten by Noct's deeply grumpy cat as a child. And it was still _weird_ living in a world where he found himself wanting to isolate himself further and further from these people who he knew so much about and cared so much for, but it felt easier this way, somehow. Just staying quiet and keeping to himself.

 

He's in the process of pulling out a container of Cup Noodles that Ignis had been thoughtful enough to summon from the Armiger for him, when he hears the door to the caravan open and the resulting indignant scream of the hinges as they unwillingly forced their way open. He doesn't bother to look, though; Gladio's the only one who has to bend down so far to get through the door, and he can see the awkward movement in his peripheral just fine.

 

"Hey. I thought you guys were eating at Takka's?" Noctis mumbles quietly, pulling out a pan and filling it with water from the sink.

 

Ignis would probably have panicked and insisted he use the bottled, purified water, but _fuck it,_ dad wasn't here to fuss about chemicals and potential parasites right now.

 

"Not really in the mood right now. Oh, are you making noodles? Will you make me one while your at it?"

 

Noctis nods in response, raising his arm to grab another cup down from the cupboard and then going on autopilot as he starts pulling Gladio's favorite ingredients from the fridge. Frankly, Noct could barely bring himself to boil the water for his own cup (and had SERIOUSLY considered whether or not he could just fill it with lukewarm water and then just patiently wait for time to soften the noodles the rest of the way,) but Gladio had always gone above and beyond with his rabid love of Extra Fancy Cup Noodles, and Noctis was loathe to get chewed out again by offering him regular Street Urchin Peasant Cup Noodles.

 

Selecting some Gighee Ham and an egg, he glances up again to find Gladio still standing in the entryway of the small kitchenette, looking at him a little pensively. Noctis raises his eyebrow in response and Gladio finally sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Alright, I kinda wanted to talk to you, too. In private."

 

"Greeeaaat," Noctis hums somewhat sarcastically, but to his credit, his eyes remain facing forward instead of rolling into his skull as he starts cutting the pieces of ham up and adding them to the water.

 

"Look, I know I've kind of been an asshole, but you haven't exactly being easy to get along with either," and Noctis knows that it's true, but it doesn't stop him from scowling as he continues to cut up pieces of meat for someone who basically just called him a dick. "This is just really hard. On all of us. We're all exhausted. The war has been going on since before we were born, and I think Iggy really thought that we'd be able to make a difference when we got to Altissia. He felt like he'd been waiting his whole life to finally get to prove himself, and that he was going to be the one to further the peace talks into something tangible. And don't get me wrong, if _anyone_ could have, it would have been Iggy, but I think deep down we really all knew it was just a pipe dream. It just sucks to have that end up being true and all of this be for nothing." Noctis swallows, willing his hands not to shake as he moves to crack the egg into a bowl and starts whisking it.

 

Gladio falls silent for a few moments, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a slow sigh. "I don't think any of us really know what to do now. At least having a specific mission to complete felt like we were taking action, but now that's gone and everything has gone to shit. I'm pretty sure my dad's dead along with the King, and who knows where my sister is." Noct can feel his heart breaking as he listens, hands undeniably shaking now as he slowly stirs the egg into the boiling water as carefully as he can. So it ends up stringy, the way Gladio likes. "Look, I'm not trying to unload some sort of sob story on you, I just-... I guess I just wanted to apologize. We just don't know who you are or where you came from, and I know that's what Lady Luna was expecting, but it's hard to not be suspicious of a newcomer when you don't know much about them. But it isn't fair for me to be such an asshole, and I'm sorry. Even if you are the biggest brat I have _ever_ met in my life, and I'm including spoiled noble kids in that list."

 

Noctis lets out a surprisingly wet sounding laugh as he looks up at Gladio, and if his eyes are a little blurry, it's only because the pot is throwing steam up into the air. Gladio smiles back at him and extends a hand, and Noctis hesitates only for a moment before lifting his own and shaking it once. "Yeah, alright, I'm sorry too I guess. Now shut up, you're making it super weird."

 

Gladio laughs and does as he's told, flopping onto one of the beds as Noct finishes putting together the last of the noodles, the moment between them gone in an instant but with the air feeling noticeably lighter already.

 

He hands the one piled high with All Kinds of Shit to Gladio, his own made with regular water, and sits down on the opposite bed as they both blow on their food in silence. A moment and a bite later, and Gladio suddenly sits up straight and stares into his cup looking surprised.

 

"This is... _Really_ good," he says sounding genuinely delighted, and Noctis freezes in his spot. "What did you put in here?"

 

 _OH SHIT, OH SHIT._ Was he not supposed to know that yet? Did GLADIO not know what his favorite Cup Noodles was yet?! It felt like that had been his favorite _forever_.

 

"Uhh... It's just Gighee Ham and egg, and a few of Ignis' spices." Noctis rubs the back of his neck nervously. "I could have sworn I saw you make it like that before."

 

"No, I never thought to use Gighee Ham. Damn, it's really good like this. Thanks."

 

Gladio smiles at him and leans up to clap him on the shoulder. Noct smiles back, hand still fretting with the back of his hair, but heart rate lowering just slightly as Gladio goes back to eating.

 

Maybe everything, at least for now, really was okay.

\---

 

The following morning dawns brightly as though the previous day hadn't happened at all, and Noctis winces as his eyes open directly into a particularly exuberant sunbeam. He lets out a distressed groan and rolls over with the intention of going back to sleep, but jolts back as he unexpectedly finds himself inches away from Prompto's wide open mouth instead, the blonde's head fully on his pillow having seemingly inched his way closer and closer overnight.

 

And it was ABSURD, really. Prompto was practically a human furnace, heating up the bed so much on the nights that they had bunked together that Noctis had often found himself drenched in sweat and practically hanging off the mattress in his unconscious attempt to escape the blazing misery infringing on his personal space. Because despite the fact that the blonde was basically a nuclear powerplant, or maybe a very small, very hot sun, he apparently always felt cold himself, and would subconsciously cling to anything that would warm him up, be that a blanket or a patch of sun-warmed rock or a very unwilling, sleeping Noctis in the middle of the night.

 

Probably the lack of body fat or... Something.

 

With a long-suffering sigh, Noctis eases his way out of the bed instead, looking around to find Gladio asleep in the opposite bed and Ignis conspicuously missing, though the faint sound of running water from the bathroom giving away his location.

 

Noctis can't help but smile faintly at the familiar situation despite his irritation at being unable to sleep, stretching his back languidly and then moving to the small kitchenette to start a pot of coffee.

 

He had been in the middle of getting his things together to head back to the campground the night before, resisting as Prompto cried in dismay and started trying to argue, when Gladio had actually been the one to step up and yank the bag out of his hand while telling him to quit being absurd and just join them in the caravan before the daemons got to him. Noctis had zero fear about any daemon at this point (Ardyn was a literal walking bag of pure daemon essence and he couldn't even bring himself to be frightened of _him_ anymore,) but some small light of hope had still made him pause for a moment. And how could he say no when both Prompto and even Ignis were smiling at him and nodding?

 

So here he was, and even if he couldn't quite bring himself to admit it, hearing soft snores filling the air again instead of total solitude and silence was deeply, deeply comforting.

 

The shower turns off as the coffee begins to drip through the filter, the familiar sound of squeaking knobs that Noctis remembers from another life further adding to the unfamiliar calm warming his chest. A few minutes and some shuffling later, and Ignis emerges from the bathroom fully dressed, green eyes unshielded by glasses widening as he spots Noctis in the kitchen, then relaxing again immediately.

 

"Ah, apologies, I hadn't expected you to be awake so early. I didn't take you for an early riser," Ignis says quietly, and Noctis snorts a little too loudly as he pulls three mugs from the cabinet and starts pouring coffee into each.

 

"Believe me, I'm not normally. A certain somebody took over my pillow." Noctis looks over to where Prompto is still slung over his half of the bed, mouth wide open, before morosely adding, "I think he might have drooled in my hair, actually."

 

Ignis breathes out a faint laugh and Noctis finds himself turning his head to smile up at him a little shyly despite himself.

 

Ignis had his hair down still.

 

Noctis fucking _loved_ it when his hair was down. He looked great with it up too, of course, but there had always been something about just how much softer the sharp lines of Ignis' face became when he had his hair framing it that reminded Noctis of when they were both still children. He had been so young at the time, yet Ignis had been there as a constant source of comfort and support for virtually Noct's entire life all the same. He looked... Gentle, like this, and Noctis would always secretly prefer it this way because of that.

 

Granted, now he was stuck paradoxically feeling both older and younger than the man next to him, unsure of whether to feel protective of him or want to seek comfort, but that part was easy enough to ignore as he hands one of the mugs over.

 

"Three?" Ignis finally asks, gesturing towards the other mugs. Noctis shrugs in a show of casual indifference.

 

"Yeah, I dunno, just got the feeling that Prompto probably isn't much of a coffee drinker," he responds, the lie coming easily enough.

 

He knew damn well that in his youth, Prompto could only be coerced into drinking coffee if it was 3/4s milk and had half a pound of sugar stirred inside of it, and even then he'd complain about the aftertaste. By the time Noctis had been released from the Crystal, Older Prompto had developed a taste for black coffee that Noct had found so utterly and disturbingly out of character, and so symbolic of the living nightmare of the new world, that he refused to acknowledge that memory at all. Hell had literally frozen over at that point if Prompto had not only been willing to drink coffee, but also took it black by choice despite powdered creamers still being available.

 

Ignis nods and leans a hip against the counter, bringing the mug to his lips and blowing on it gently. "Well, your observational skills are surprisingly astute," he says at length before slowly taking a careful sip.

 

Noctis catches the grimace that Ignis does his absolute best to hide, and turns his head to look at the man's face. "... What?"

 

"Nothing. It's nothing," Ignis says quickly, taking another tentative sip of his coffee and then swallowing with what looks like some amount of effort on his part.

 

Noctis continues staring at him nonplussed. "... If you don't like the coffee, you can just say so."

 

"No! It's fine, it's just... Is this tap water?"

 

Noctis throws his head back and groans so loudly that Gladio actually starts awake and sits up with a mumbled, "what?" and Prompto starts shifting in his own bed.

 

Ignis smiles sheepishly, but still discreetly pours his own mug down the sink and starts brewing a fresh pot.

 

"You really shouldn't drink the tap water, you never know how effective the water treatments are outside the city. You're liable to get parasites."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feels like an awkward place to stop, but the chapter was starting to get away from me so I decided to just end it here and deal with their traveling to Lestallum next time.
> 
> And as a side note, did it feel weird to anyone else how lighthearted the characters were right after the attack on Insomnia in the game? One minute Noctis is throwing a tantum over Regis not being honest with him, and then five minutes later you jump on the back of a giant yellow bird with chipper music playing and they're all making dumb puns with one another again. Even my boyfriend who was just catching little glimpses of me playing was like, "YO DIDN'T HIS DAD JUST DIE? THEY'RE BEING A LITTLE FLIPPANT, DON'T YOU THINK?"
> 
> IN FACT, he even made up a whole set of lyrics to go along with the Chocobo theme that basically went along the lines of, "HEY NOCT ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE DEAD, BUT DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT, ISN'T THIS CHOCOBO CUTE?"
> 
> ... Yeah, it was a "thing" while I was playing the game. Every time I called a Chocobo literally hours later, he'd start singing some variation of the "everyone you've ever known is dead, but lol it's fine" song.
> 
> Also, Noct almost-but-not-quite seriously fucking up and forgetting what he is and isn't supposed to know about his friends is literally Mana from Heaven for me apparently, so we're keeping that train rolling on for the foreseeable future as well.
> 
> (PPPS: I can't believe this story has gotten over 100 kudos at this point, btw. Thank you guys. <3 OKAY I promise I'm done ranting in the end note now)


	9. Chapter 9

Noctis, for the first time in what feels like a lifetime, is actually somewhat at peace as he drowsily slumps deep in his seat with his head leaning against the side of the car.

 

The constant prickle of anxiety is still there, of course, the fear of not knowing where his version of the Ring of the Lucii is, the nagging emptiness of knowing another mirrored city lay in ruin and his father dead, not to mention the fact that he had become increasingly worried about the fate's of his "real" friends. If he was here, and they were NOT, then...?

 

He pushes those thoughts to the side again before they can start to spiral though, turning his face towards the sun and focusing on the feeling of his hair blowing over his face. Worrying about that wasn't going to get him anywhere, and at least for this one small respite of calm, he just wanted to doze in a warm car to the sound of the rumbling white noise of the engine and the occasional crinkle of Gladio turning one of the pages of his book. Well, that and Prompto's excited voice begging to stop long enough to take a picture of something every hour or so, which was the only thing that Noct was currently willing to rouse himself for, sitting up just long enough to emphatically agree with whatever Prompto wanted before slumping back down into his seat like it had it's own gravitational pull.

 

If Prompto wanted to take a photo of something, then Prompto, Patron Saint of Light and Everything Good in the World, would get to take a photo of something, and Noct was going to personally ensure that neither Gods nor Man stood in his way.

 

He finally stirs in his seat and sits up a little when he sees the sign signaling their departure from the Leide region, and Prompto makes an excited cheer from the front seat.

 

"Look out world, here we come!" He says cheerfully, both hands rising in the air above his head.

 

"Finally we can leave this dust bowl behind," Gladio adds, and Noctis wants to agree with him, but he knows well enough what's coming up.

 

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't get too excited. Most of Duscae is practically a giant swamp." He was pretty sure he'd _still_ had scars on his arms and legs ten years later from the relentless mosquitos that swarmed certain parts of the Wetlands, and as nice as it had been to not feel like he was baking to death on a daily basis, getting Trench Foot hadn't exactly been a step up.

 

"Yeah, well, giant is fun! More stuff to see and do!" Prompto says, turning to face Noct with a smile. He offers one weakly in return.

 

He would see. They would all see.

 

Duscae was the fucking worst.

 

"There's also a Chocobo Forest," Ignis adds from the front seat, glancing in the rearview mirror towards Noct and Prompto. Noctis watches as the expression on Prompto's face grows impossibly brighter as the blonde spins back to face the driver's seat.

 

"Now we're talkin'! We can stop, right? Can we? Can we stop there?"

 

Noctis chews on his lip and then glances to Gladio before responding. "As much as I know _I_ want to say yes, we might want to push through for now. Past Duscae is Cleigne, which is where... Uhh... Lestallum is."

 

Gladio's face stays schooled into an expression of calm, but Noctis can see the muscle of his jaw twitch slightly as Prompto looks over the edge of the seat to glance at him.

 

"Oh right... That's where the marshal said Iris is headed, right?"

 

Gladio's hand fidgets against his knee as he watches the scenery pass by for several long seconds, before he finally can't seem to hold back any more and his hand darts into the pocket of his pants to pull out his phone to check the screen.

 

From his vantage point, Noct can see there are no notifications, but if Gladio is disappointed, a quiet sigh is the only indication.

 

"... Yeah. Hopefully, Prom."

 

Prompto smiles and sits up fully on the seat, hugging the headrest to his chest and setting his chin on the top. "She's fine, dude, don't worry so much. If Cor says she's safe, then she's safe! You know Monika and Dustin would die before they let anything happen to her."

 

Gladio's smile is halfhearted as he looks at his knees, but still offered regardless.

 

"Yeah, I know."

 

\---

 

It's a little past noon by the time they reach Coernix Station, Prompto so relieved to get out of the car that he practically tears the handle off of the door in his haste to finally stretch his legs.

 

Noctis has already decided that it isn't worth peeling his body away from where he's begun to fuse and become one with the leather of the Regalia, and is just starting to teeter on the edge of consciousness and dozing, when he hears Prompto gasp, then shout, "HOLY SHIT, WHAT ARE _THOSE?!_ "

 

He slowly tilts his head to glance sideways over the door of the Regalia, cheek still smashed against the leather, and finds Prompto hanging so far over the railing on the other side of the road that Noctis is legitimately surprised that he hasn't overbalanced and toppled off the godsdamned thing, one boot still barely on the ground and the other lifted up and back as a counterbalance as he stares off in the distance. Noct moves his gaze to follow the direction Prompto appears to be looking next, then lets out a dismayed groan as he catches sight of what has him so thoroughly enchanted.

 

It was those _fucking Catoblepas_ down by the lake again.

 

He was NOT getting dragged to take a photo with one of those things. He would _put his foot down._ Last time he had felt horrible for hours afterwards, with the gentle giant they had lured closer for a photo clearly just wanting to mind it's own business and eat a couple of mushrooms (hell, EVERYONE should be so lucky to languorously drag their bodies around, eating mushrooms and just being a dumbass Catoblepas,) and then next thing Noctis knew, the creature was roaring in distress and they were running as though hell itself had been unleashed on them.

 

He would not do it.

 

Noctis watches Prompto's excited gestures for several more seconds, then let's out a sigh so long that he wonders if his soul has finally escaped with it as he slumps impossibly harder against the door.

 

Of course he would do it again if Prompto asked. Noctis wasn't sure he could tell Prompto 'no' about anything. Which had, in fact, been a rather big point of contention between him and Ignis for a few months as their friendship had developed and Noct had become somewhat more focused on making the blonde happy than he was about a few small details like, oh, making sure an entire Kingdom wouldn't be brought to its knees when he took the throne. But honestly, who could possibly care about running a nation when you could let Prompto beat you over and over again at Chrono Catastrophe 2 and watch his face light up?

 

Priorities. It was all about priorities.

 

Noctis is abruptly thrown out of his half-asleep daydreaming with a violent start as he hears Gladio shout to his right, heart pounding up into his throat and muscle memory causing his hand to sweep out in an attempt to summon his weapon before he can remember that he no longer has access to his magic. A split second later he jerks his head around to find Gladio with one hand holding his cell phone to the side of his face and the other clutching his hair, an expression on his face like he can't decide whether to laugh or cry.

 

"Iris, thank _GODS,_ are you okay? Where are you?" Gladio is saying, and Noctis relaxes back in his seat again as a spark of relief ignites in his chest. Both from confirmation that Gladio is NOT, in fact, being attacked by a pack of rabid Saber Tusks, and also from finally knowing for sure that Iris is still okay.

 

Gladio paces back and forth next to the car, free hand running through his hair over and over again and the tension visibly leaving his body as he listens to the voice on the other end of the line. "When I couldn't get through, I thought- I thought you might not have gotten out of the city in time. Are Monika and Dustin still with you?"

 

The commotion has caught Prompto's attention too, and Noctis winces nervously as he sees the man barely check for cars before he's darting back across the road and jogging over to hover next to Gladio as he speaks, violet eyes wide in excitement. He gives him a thumbs up with a questioning look on his face, then silently throws his fist in the air as Gladio gives him one back with a shaky smile.

 

"Look, don't go anywhere, we're heading to Lestallum now." Gladio pauses and then pulls a face at something that Iris says on the other end of the line, and Noctis can't help but chuckle as he can practically hear Iris responding with something snarky. "Don't be a sarcastic little shit, or I'm hugging you and crying in front of everyone when we get there and it's going to be _super_ embarrassing. ... Yeah, that's what I thought." His face softens a moment later, hand moving to grip his hair again. "I'm just so glad you're okay. Gods, Iris, you have no idea how worried I was... Anyway, yeah, we're heading that way now. We should be there by tonight."

 

The second Gladio's phone has been pulled from his ear, Prompto lets out a cheer and punches him good-naturedly on the shoulder, fist bouncing harmlessly away like a feather hitting a brick wall. "Alright, I knew she'd be okay! What'd I tell ya?"

 

Gladio doesn't respond, instead pressing his face into his hands as he nods wordlessly, then smoothing his palms over his eyes and taking a deep breath.

 

Noctis exchanges a quick look with Prompto, smiling as the blonde silently winks at him before they both pointedly stare at the ground to give Gladio space as he struggles to calm down his unsteady breathing.

 

Ignis, Gods bless him and his ever-impeccable timing, chooses that moment to exit the gas station, a paper bag clutched in his had as he approaches. "I overheard Gladio shouting from the store. I gather Iris is alive and well?"

 

"Yeah, she's waiting for us in Lestallum! Ooo, are those snacks?" Prompto says, not actually bothering to wait for an answer and instead already reaching out to snatch the bag from his hands and look inside.

 

"We'd best make haste, then. I'm sure Gladio isn't the only one looking forward to a reunion." Ignis says as he places a hand on Gladio's shoulder with a small smile, and Gladio raises his own to cover it, squeezing gently with a grateful nod.

 

Noctis lets his head fall back against the headrest again as he watches them with an idle calm settling over his chest, before he jerks up once more at Prompto's sudden, indignant cry.

 

"Fishing lures?! You bought _fishing lures?!_ "

 

"Ah, yes," Ignis says, plucking the bag from Prompto's fingers as the blonde looks at him with a betrayed expression on his face, then extends the bag to Noctis. Noct stares back in surprise, pausing in confusion before stiffly reaching out to take it from him, not entirely understanding. "I believe Luke mentioned once that he enjoys fishing, and the surrounding regions have many locations that are widely acclaimed amongst anglers. I've been wanting to try out a few new recipes that utilize fresh fish anyway, so I thought these might be rather useful. That is, if Luke is amenable?"

 

Noctis stares into the bag with wide eyes for a few moments, then looks back up to see Ignis turning the full force of one of those devastating, knowing smiles at him. He swallows. "Y-Yeah... Sure. Thank you."

 

Ignis' smile grows as he gives a pleased nod at Noct's response, then turns to move around the car to the driver's seat. Prompto, seemingly ripped from his horrified shellshock, spins to face him again. "But what are we going to eat _now?!_ "

 

"Prompto, gas station food is nutritionally void. I can make us food when we reach Lestallum," Ignis says firmly.

 

"Oh yeah? You know what else is nutritionally void?"

 

"Oh boy, here we go," Gladio interjects, rolling his eyes.

 

Prompto ignores him and continues, "Not eating. In fact, I would argue that not eating is actually more nutritionally void than eating gas station food."

 

Ignis pinches the bridge of his nose in a way that Noctis immediately recognizes as him reminding himself to pick his battles, and also calculating the most likely sentence to be handed down in the event of vehicular homicide, glasses pushing up carelessly onto his forehead. Gladio seems to notice as well, and laughs as he throws an arm around Prompto's shoulders to pull him back towards the gas station.

 

"Alright then, come on, Blondie. I know how grumpy you get when the blood sugar in that skinny body crashes. Don't want you throwing a tantrum."

 

Noctis can vaguely hear Prompto's cry of, "I am NOT throwing a tantrum!" as the bell to the gas station door tinkles faintly in the background, but he isn't really paying attention. His eyes are once more on the bag still clutched gently to his chest, the admittedly cheap, poor quality lures somehow representing something more intangibly priceless to him in that moment than all his top quality fishing gear combined.

 

He misses the way that Ignis watches him in the rearview mirror after readjusting his glasses. If he hadn't, the fond look spreading across Ignis' face at the sight of Noct's transparent happiness at something so simple might have made him feel a little self conscious. As it is, Noct just rolls the bag up carefully as though handling something more precious than the Crystal itself, and tucks it tenderly into one of the pockets of his pants for safekeeping.

 

Maybe he didn't have to feel like such a stranger in this world after all.

 

\---

 

The heavy stench of smoke swirling into Noct's awareness is so acrid and choking that he finds himself gagging unexpectedly, coughing as his lungs try to pull in a breath of air that doesn't burn him from the inside out. Everything hurts with an ache so deep that he wonders if every bone in his body has been crushed into splinters, the pain so great that he can't even bring himself to open his eyes. He's only vaguely aware of hands cradling his head, arms surrounding him to press him firmly against someone’s chest as his hair is gently smoothed away from his face, the rumble of a voice speaking a language he doesn't recognize vibrating against his cheek. Every now and then a finger catches on a tangle, or tugs a piece of hair plastered against a cut dried with blood, but the stinging pain is barely noticeable over the roaring of agony swelling inside of him as he knows, with every single fiber of his being:

 

He's failed.

 

A dry sob suddenly wracks his chest at the realization, the motion causing white hot pain to sear its way through every inch of his broken body, and one of the hands stroking his hair moves to quickly wrap around his shoulders and cradle him more securely against the body surrounding him.

 

_"Shh, now, don't cry. Crying never fixes anything, take it from me. This Star would be bathed in light and I would have been resting in the peace I was promised long ago if tears alone could fix what was broken."_

 

The voice sounds so familiar as he feels fingers gently tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, and he wants to wince at the feeling of the sticky, congealed blood that seems to be matting it all together, but he can't bring himself to truly care anymore.

 

The hand finally stills on his face as he quiets down, tremors still wracking through his body from the aftershocks of suffering, and he feels the stranger's thumb begin brushing feather-light over his cheekbone as though to soothe him. But just as he starts relaxing, allowing his consciousness to drift away completely into the growing blackness, he feels the body holding him shift as a mouth is pressed against the shell of his ear and the voice quietly whispers: _"So this is truly the Power of Kings? I must say, I'm disappointed, Noctis."_

 

His name echoes in his skull, and he's trying to open his eyes, but suddenly finds himself trapped in the blackness behind his closed eyelids. The name echoes louder, sounding like a shout, and he's trying to cry but he can't seem to take a breath, and then suddenly-

 

Noctis jolts awake with a loud cry, gasping for breath. For a second he's actually worried that he might throw up, clawing his way to the side of the Regalia and leaning over as his entire body dry heaves violently, when he suddenly feels hands touch lightly against his back. Memories of phantom hands stroking over his face and back come rushing back to the surface and Noctis can't stop himself from recoiling away with a thick, shuddering gasp, knuckles turning white on the top of the door as he tries to piece his consciousness back together.

 

"Shit, Luke, are you okay? I didn't mean to startle you," and hearing Gladio's voice is such a relief that Noctis feels like he might burst into tears as he takes another few shuddering gasps and finally turns around.

 

Gladio is sitting next to him with his hands out, looking confused, and Prompto is staring at him from the front seat with wide, scared eyes. Ignis is standing with his door open, frozen in place and eyebrows crinkled in concern.

 

"Fuck, buddy," Prompto says breathlessly, seeming at a loss of words. "What the fuck was that? Does that happen often?"

 

Noctis groans and moves to run a hand through his hair, then winces as he feels the strands drenched with sweat and drops it back to his lap instead. "Not... Historically. But I'm always open to new experiences, I guess." He looks up at the three of them again to find their expressions unchanged, and Noct is suddenly struck with a deep feeling of embarrassment. "Sorry, it was just a nightmare."

 

"No shit," Gladio says.

 

Ignis clears his throat and finally moves to shut his door. "Well, we've arrived in Lestallum. Iris is waiting for us at a hotel nearby, I believe called the Leville. Will you be alright to walk?"

 

Noctis rubs a piece of hair between his fingers, feeling self conscious, then pulls himself up using the seat in front of him and jumps over the side of the Regalia without bothering with all that opening-the-door-first nonsense. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It was just a bad dream. Not like I'm dying," he mutters the last part, turning to walk towards the Leville, before he realizes that he isn't supposed to know where it is and then slowing to a stop with a grunt of deep irritation. Pretending not to know shit was almost wearing on him more than constantly dreaming about being on fire and/or gasping for his final breaths. Almost.

 

"Are you sure? You kind of looked like you were about to throw up on the door there for a second. Then you really would be dead, because Iggy would have killed you," Prompto says in an atrocious attempt at lightheartedness, adding in a weak, "haha..." as Noctis looks over to see his face clearly tight with worry.

 

Noctis absolutely resents it.

 

He just shakes his head though, and lets Prompto link elbows with him as the blonde gets out of the car and moves over to where he's still standing. "Just in case you swoon again. Can't have the damsel hitting his head if they faint, you know?"

 

"Fuck off, Prom," Noctis responds, but can't find any bite in his voice as Prompto gently tugs on his arm to follow after Ignis.

 

He does have to admit that it's strangely comforting to let himself be led through the streets of Lestallum with no control over his direction or pace, though. He feels sick again, and the headache from the previous days has returned to full force as though it never left in the first place. 

 

And Noct is just so _tired_ of being the one to lead, anyway. He had never wanted to lead, though it's not like he'd ever been asked his opinion on the matter or been given much of a choice, the decision being made for him long before had had even been born.

 

He wasn't strong enough to lead, clearly, or he wouldn't be ten years in the past and haunted by constant nightmares of his own weakness.

 

He can feel his feet dragging a little as Prompto continues pulling him down various streets, Ignis' back visible in front of them as he weaves through the crowded streets. Vaguely he's aware that Prompto is probably speaking to him, but he isn't really listening. The roar of what feels like hundreds of voices around him have faded to a vague sort of buzz in his mind, indistinguishable from one another as his feet keep moving on autopilot.

 

 _He isn't supposed to be here._ He can't help thinking again about how hard they had all fought already with the promise of finally being able to rest afterwards, the promise of peace dangled in front of them like a carrot on a stick, only to have it ripped away at the last second and the whole thing restarted like it was nothing. Like the suffering was nothing- _meant_ nothing.

 

He just wants to go Home.

 

Noctis looks up wearily as a joyful cry cuts through the air, and just barely catches the sight of a small figure rushing towards Gladio as the man throws his arms open and then scoops her up in a bear hug. He can see Gladio pressing his face into the girl's brown hair as he holds onto her tightly, before Iris finally seems to have had enough and starts pushing at his face and squirming with a laugh.

 

"Okay, OKAY, sheesh, I get it! Put me- ACK- Gladdy, put me _down!_ You're squeezing me too hard!"

 

Gladio looks like he's using every ounce of his willpower to do as she requests, setting her gently back onto the pavement and then holding her by the shoulders to look her up and down while Iris just patiently smiles and rolls her eyes at him. A moment later something seems to catch his eye, quickly reaching his hand out to grab her wrist carefully and letting out a furious noise as he inspects her arm, and Noctis immediately spots what Gladio is fretting over: bandages are wrapped around the length Iris' forearm, the white of the cloth practically glowing in the relentlessly bright sunlight.

 

"Hey, what the fuck is that? I thought you said you were fine!"

 

Iris yanks her arm back out of his grip, holding it to her chest and rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet with a smirk on her face. "Heh, yeah... You shoulda' seen the other guy though," she says playfully, waggling her eyebrows up at her brother in a clear attempt to goad him into a favorable response, but then dropping her head slightly as he continues staring at her in equal parts fury and concern instead. Noct watches as her hands fall back to her sides and she drags the toe of her foot against the ground, the perfect vision of innocent sheepishness, but he (and Gladio too, surely,) knows it's absolute bullshit. He can spot Iris trying to play someone with those big red eyes from a mile away, and while devastatingly effective on most people, it tended to lose it's power on anyone who knew her for more than a week. "Okay, some Imperial jerk tried to get to me before Dustin and Monika arrived. And I know you always say to try running first, but..." Iris trails off, then can't seem to stop herself from dropping the bashful act entirely as she grins impishly and shrugs, "I took care of him."

 

Gladio lets out a strangled noise, running a hand over his face in disbelief, but Noctis can see that he's trying hard not to smile. "Look, I have never been more proud, but don't EVER do something like that again."

 

"I know, I know..."

 

"I'm serious, Iris. If something had happened to you-"

 

"Gladdy, stop! I know! _Gods,_ you're such a worrywart sometimes!"

 

Prompto seems to be unable to hold in his laugh anymore, and Noctis freezes in place as Iris' warm red eyes suddenly fall past Gladio and focus on him and Prompto instead, her eyebrows shooting up slightly and mouth parting in surprise as she catches sight of him. A sinking feeling fills his stomach as a flush that he's absolutely positive has nothing to do with the warm summer air lights her face and she takes a few steps forward, self-consciously brushing a strand of hair behind her ears.

 

"Oh? Who's this? I don't think we've met before, have we?" She says, voice friendly but a little shy in a way that only makes Noct's current discomfort grow. "I'm pretty sure I would remember if we had."

 

Noctis fidgets nervously and tries to jerk away, but Prompto's arm locks like a vice around his and holds him so firmly in place that he can practically feel his circulation cutting off. He briefly and rather woefully wonders how something so small can be so strong, but has no time to dwell on it as Prompto starts speaking in his place.

 

"This is Luke! We found him in Leide and Ignis let me keep him!" Prompto says brightly, using the arm still linked with Noct's to yank him forward again, resolutely ignoring the glaring squint that Noctis throws his way as he continues trying to pull his arm free.

 

He could chop his own arm off... He had read an article about a climber who'd been forced to do that after getting stuck in a rockslide once, and _he_ had been fine. Well, relatively fine. As fine as you could be after chopping your arm off.

 

Noctis gives up after several fruitless tugs, reluctantly pulling his gaze back to Iris' terrifying, flushed face. "Hi. That's... Yep. That's me. I'm Luke," he says with as little interest as he possibly can.

 

"It's nice to meet you. Iris Amicitia, the better of the two Amicitia siblings," she says with a smile, looking up through her lashes just enough to make Noct's resolve waver and his eyes dart nervously to the side again.

 

He had faced daemons and death and feared none of it, but Gladio's much younger sister looking up at him like he was the most beautiful man on Eos without realizing that he was actually almost old enough at this point to be her father was the most genuinely horrifying thing that had ever happened to him. Was Iris twelve? She was like... Twelve, right?

 

Prompto nudges a bony elbow into his ribs and Noctis forces a halfhearted smile at her. "Yeah, uhh... You too. Nice to meet you, that is."

 

Iris positively beams at him, stepping back and clapping both of her hands together as she looks around between all four of them. "Well then, let's go inside! Jared and Talcott are waiting to see you!"

 

"They're here too?" Gladio asks in surprise, the relief clear in his face as he turns to the hotel. Noct's shoulders relax in a slump as Iris darts after him and reaches a hand out to grab her brother's, listening as she bursts into another story about her journey to Lestallum and the deep rumble of Gladio's laugh echoes from the shadows of the lobby. Between the two of them, they practically seem like the textbook definition of a silver lining: the world was going to shit, friends and family all dead, but today the sun was shining and they were both safe in each other's company, and that had to count for something.

 

A moment later, Prompto finally drops his arm with one last playful nudge to his ribs before jogging off to catch up with the siblings, calling out, "come on then! Better introduce you to the others!" over his shoulder as he too fades out of sight in the darkness of the building.

 

Noctis shoves his hands in his pockets, hesitating, then hears Ignis let out a quiet laugh as he tilts his head forward.

 

"Shall we? You don't want to be the only one left behind."

 

And the statement is completely innocuous, but makes Noct's heart jump nervously all the same.

 

"... Yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh I'm sorry Noctis, were you starting to feel safe and secure? Ah man, my bad. Let me fix that for you.
> 
> And sheesh, this was another tough one. As it turns out, writing 'Point A to Point B' chapters where nothing really happens is p agonizing, and I’m honestly not totally happy with it... BUT, on the upside, they're finally in Lestallum, and I think we all know what that means.
> 
> Do you? ;D Do you know what that means? ;D ;D
> 
> I'm just so excited <3


	10. Chapter 10

"Jared and Talcott! Gods is it good to see you."

 

Gladio is gripping the shoulder of an elderly man as Noctis finally makes his way up to the hotel room, a smile so large on his face that it practically seems brighter than the setting sun shining through the open window. Ignis and Prompto are smiling too, going up in turn to either pat him on the back or offer a hand to shake, and while Noctis _wants_ to go up and pull Jared into a relieved hug so hard the man's spine would probably snap in half, he forces himself to hang back instead.

 

Strangers didn't hug strangers the last time he checked. Well, SOME people were the, "I'M A HUGGER," in lieu of a handshake sorts of people, but they were the actual worse and Noctis would NOT appear to be one of them.

 

"Lord Gladiolus! Don't worry, Iris is safe with me!" Talcott's small voice chimes in from Jared's side, and Noctis has to push the palm of his hand against his mouth as he catches sight of him to keep himself from making a noise and giving himself away.

 

He's struck by just how... Tiny Talcott is again. Small and innocent to the hardships that were waiting for him, but still proud and tough as nails regardless. Noctis smiles sadly into his hand as he stares at him, the boy smiling brightly as he looks up at Gladio reverently, and Gladio ruffles his hair fondly in return.

 

Talcott, seeming to sense the intense gaze focused on him, turns to look from Gladio over to Noctis instead, eyes widening as he spots him and quickly moving to duck slightly behind his grandfather's leg. "Who's _that?_ " He asks, and despite staring at him from behind the protective barrier of Jared, his voice is strong and gaze challenging.

 

Noctis absolutely adores it, the tiny little warrior.

 

Jared is gently scolding him a moment later, putting gentle hands on Talcott's shoulders to usher him forward despite the boy leaning back and digging his heels in to avoid being moved. 

"Please excuse my grandson, he has yet to learn his manners," Jared says kindly, and Noct drops his hand from his face to offer him a small but sincere smile.

 

"No, that's okay. I like it," Noctis says, then looking to Talcott, adds, "my name is Luke. It's nice to meet you."

 

He steps forward and offers his hand to him, and Talcott mistrustfully turns his shoulders away from him for a moment as he stares suspiciously at his outstretched fingers, but then slowly raises his eyes to glance up into Noct's face. Noctis can't help but feel his smile widen, eyes crinkling at the edges as Talcott reaches his own hand out to grip his, squeezing Noct's fingers a little harder than necessary and putting entirely too much strength into the handshake, but finally offering a small, shy smile of his own.

 

Noctis buckles his knee slightly, twisting his body in the direction of the handshake and gripping his arm with his free hand, a mock expression of surprise on his face. "Whoa, careful there! You're stronger than you look, you almost broke my arm!" And he feels a little foolish- talking to anyone, let alone children, was never his strong suite- but it all feels worth it when Talcott lets out a delighted laugh and lets go of his hand.

 

He looks up to see Jared smiling fondly before he begins gently moving Talcott in the direction of the door, nodding his head to the rest of the group politely. "You're very kind, sir, but we shan't impose. It's well past dinnertime, anyway."

 

"A very good night to you, Lord Gladiolus!" Talcott says at the door, bowing deeply at the waist, and Gladio returns the gesture with a smile on his face before Jared quietly shuts the door behind them.

 

An awkward sort of silence fills the room as they all slowly move to sit down, Noctis dropping into one of the chairs and Prompto, Gladio, Ignis, and Iris settling down throughout the rest of the room. They all know what they want to ask, but are reluctant to actually find out the details.

 

Gladio is the first to speak.

 

"So Iris. What was actually happened? What was it like inside the Crown City?"

 

She winces slightly, but doesn't hesitate. "Not pretty. The Citadel took a beating," she begins, pausing as she seems to get caught up in the memory, then optimistically continues, "but a lot of the outlying neighborhoods made it through in one piece! Other than the cellphone towers. That's why no one could get through- they took down all the towers to cut off communication."

 

Noctis snorts, running one hand over his jaw. "Of course. The Empire wanted to cause as much chaos as possible, but still focus on the tactical targets."

 

Ignis and Iris both nod in agreement, before Iris raises her gaze from her knees and looks at each of them steadily in the eyes. "You know if there's _anything_ else, you can ask me. I don't mind."

 

Ignis smiles at her gratefully as they make eye contact. "Thank you, Iris."

 

There's another temporary lull in conversation as Noctis steeples his fingers together, lightly tapping them against his mouth as he considers whether or not to ask what he's wondering. 

"Yeah, uh, Iris? I don't suppose you've heard anything about Lady Lunafreya, have you?" He finally asks at length, and is filled with relief as Iris offers him a bright smile.

 

"Oh, actually I keep hearing she was in town! Apparently she left right away, but at least it means she's okay."

 

Noctis lets out a breath that he didn't realize he was holding, some of the anxiety clutching his chest like a fist easing ever-so-slightly at her words. "Good to hear. Thanks."

 

Wine red eyes crinkle at him as she smiles kindly, nodding her head before getting to her feet. "Yeah, of course. Well, I'm sure you guys must be exhausted. Get a good night's rest, all of you!" and with that she turns to leave, quietly exiting the room from the same door Jared and Talcott left from.

 

The moment she leaves, Noct rips off his boots and turns to fling himself into the bed that Ignis is perched on, shoving his face deep into the pillows. After a pause, he decides to throw his arm over the side of his face for good measure to emphasize his desire to be officially done with the hell of life for at least five fitful hours of semi-peace.

 

Maybe tonight he'll even be able to sleep without some creepy lucid dream- memory?- ruining his entire world.

 

"So who bunks with who tonight?" Gladio asks.

 

"I'm sleeping with Ignis," Noctis calls out, voice muffled and tone slightly whiny in his insistence. If anyone asked, he would say that he wanted to bunk with Ignis because he was the quietest, least obtrusive sleeper out of all of them. The reality was that Noctis was sad and lost, and scared of waking up in the middle of the night from a nightmare like a child again, and Ignis happened to be the one that made him feel the most calm. No one else had to know that, though.

 

"What? Then I have to sleep with Gladio, and he takes up more than half the bed!" Prompto cries out in distress. "I want to sleep with Iggy!"

 

"Nuh-uh, I called him first," Noctis shouts into the pillow, though it can barely be heard at all through the wall of feathers.

 

Noct hears Prompto let out a loud groan and say, "fine!" and Gladio responding with an offended, "hey, now," but doesn't bother lifting his face up.

 

Ignis clears his throat somewhat uncomfortably, then turns to prod at Noct's hip. "Well if that's decided and you're sleeping with me, you're showering first. You've been in the car all day, and, ah..." Ignis trails off kindly, letting what's unspoken say what he means.

 

Oh, Noctis understands alright. He smells like a wet dog. But he remains collapsed in a pile on the bed anyway, muscles aching with exhaustion and a faint hope inside of him that maybe if he just looks pathetically worn out enough, Ignis will take pity on him and let him doze off.

 

He lets out a deeply unhappy whine as he feels Ignis nudge him again, then finally pushes up onto his arms and swings his legs over the bed. "Fine, fine, I'm going!"

 

"And don't forget to brush your teeth!" Ignis calls after him as he makes his way to the bathroom.

 

"I will, dad, promise. You can check my toothbrush to see if it's damp afterwards if you want," Noctis says sourly as he yanks the door shut, muffling himself to any response that Ignis may have given.

 

He strips his clothing off quickly, moving to turn the knobs of the shower and barely waiting before stepping inside, flinching hard as the water is still ice cold against his skin but otherwise not bothering to move out of the spray. It would warm up soon enough anyway, and he had so few shits to give at this point that worrying about a shower being too hot or too cold didn't seem worth delegating one to. Let him freeze.

 

Moving to sit on the floor, legs crossed in front of him, he lets his eyes fall to the opposite wall as he stares at it blankly. Now that he's alone, no conversation to respond to or voices to try to focus on, Noctis finds his mind desperately trying to blank out into a state of blissful dissociation, having to shake himself back into focus after what feel like could have been several seconds or several hours.

 

The water is still only lukewarm and he's still shivering though, so probably only a few seconds.

 

He finally looks around to find one of the hotel shampoos, grabbing for it and pouring some on his hand. Previous experience had taught him that the Leville happened to stock shampoo that was impossibly both incredibly drying to his hair and yet still left it feeling dirty, and conditioner that didn't seem to moisturize so much as it just left behind a waxy film, but at this point his hair was also delegated to the 'No Shits Given' category along with the shower temperature and basically every single other thing other than breathing. Dry, oily, waxy hair it is.

Noct's eyes do jump open when he starts massaging the lather into his hair, consciousness screaming back into full activation as the sensation of his hands running through the strands suddenly pulls up latent memories of unfamiliar fingers brushing against his skin in what feels bizarrely like deja vu. He frowns and lets his hands fall still, trying to remember exactly what he's being reminded of.

 

Hands... And a voice saying _something,_ but the memory is slipping through his fingers faster than water, and before he knows it, it's gone completely.

 

He sighs and finishes washing his hair, turning his face into the newly warmed water as he rinses the suds away.

 

It was probably nothing. Everything was just fine.

 

\---

 

Noctis doesn't bother drying his hair after the shower, instead just rubbing a towel through it and deciding to let it air dry overnight. The world wouldn't come crashing to an explosive end if he let it dry naturally for once, and besides, even if that _would_ trigger the final End of Days, Ardyn was well on his way to ending them just fine on his own. Which he would probably be wildly successful with, considering Noctis no longer had his _fucking magic anymore,_ so might as well hypothetically accept it now whether it came via lack of hair styling, or a revenge-filled bag of hatred and questionable fashion choices.

 

He flops face first onto the bed with a quiet but deeply miserable groan, falling so heavily that Ignis actually bounces on his side of the bed with a startle and nearly drops his book. "Good heavens," Ignis mumbles, then after a pause, says, "... are those my pajamas?"

 

Noctis nods- or at least, gives it his best shot with his face smashed into a pillow, and turns his face just enough to slur, "they were n'the bathroom. Finders keepers," and then means to say that he has a pair that he's been borrowing from Prompto if Ignis wouldn't mind getting them for him, but only gets as far as opening his mouth before he's dead to the world.

 

The next thing he knows the sun is shining in his face, his mouth still open but with a puddle of wetness under it that makes him whine in distress and swipe a hand over his face, and Prompto is staring down at him with a grin on his face.

 

"Ha, you wouldn't shut up for HOURS about how I drooled in your hair last time, but looks like you've got that covered just fine on your own, huh?"

 

Noctis groans again as he sits up to find that his other arm is now a useless dead weight flopping lifelessly at his side, apparently having been trapped under him all night and now fully lacking in sensation. It's absurd just how much it feels like a rubber prosthetic completely disconnected from the rest of his body. "It's different when it's your own spit, Prom, everyone knows that," he says hoarsely, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes one handed and quietly wondering once more if chopping his arm off would be preferable to letting it slowly and painfully come back to life.

 

_That hiker had chopped his arm off when it got cut in a rockslide, after all, IT WAS A VALID OPTION._

 

Vaguely he's reminded of the phrase, "don't cut off your nose to spite your face," and wonders if it's applicable in this situation, but doesn't dwell on it.

 

Looking around and finding both Gladio and Ignis missing, he begins to say, "where," and then cuts off as it comes out as a hoarse whisper, clearing his throat and swallowing before starting again, "where're Gladio and Ignis? Isn't it super early?"

 

"Dude, it's like, eleven. Ignis tried waking you up hours ago and you started making this weird high-pitched whine. It was _horrible._ " Prompto winces seemingly at the memory and Noctis shifts a little uncomfortably.

 

Ah yes. His self defense sleep whine. He had never heard it himself, but he'd been told many stories about it in a past life. His unconscious self had seemingly learned the exact pitch and volume to begin whining at to deliver maximum irritation to Ignis if he tried to wake Noct up before his body felt well-rested, and while His Ignis had developed the ability to grit his teeth and push through it, New Ignis probably had no such natural defenses. It was evidently like one of those sonic weapons that the military deployed to try to disperse unruly protesters without physically injuring them too badly- apart from, arguably, bursting their eardrums of course.

 

Noctis was nothing if not efficient at making other people completely miserable.

 

Just as he's about to apologize, he begins feeling the telltale warmth and prickling of his arm slowly ripping it's wretchid way back into the mortal coil, and Noctis grunts in pain as he curls around it. Prompto winces sympathetically at him, patting his back and moving away from the bed, then asking, "hey, you need some clothes? Ignis is still washing yours."

 

Noctis makes a strangled noise of suffering before finally choking out, "sure," reminding himself that throwing himself out of a second story window probably wouldn't actually kill him and would really just make the situation worse in the end, and watching through squinted eyes as Prompto starts pulling things out of the Royal Armiger like it was nothing.

 

A feeling of jealousy and resentment temporarily cuts through the pain in his arm, but Noct forcefully pushes it away before it can fester.

 

It wasn't Prompto's fault that he was completely useless now.

 

"Hey, just no plaid. I don't know what it is with you and plaid, but every outfit you've loaned me has had it and it looks _awful_ on me," Noctis says from his position bent in half over his arm, voice still thick with misery.

 

"Oh," Prompto begins uncomfortably, awkwardly holding up a pair of dark plaid pants that he had just pulled out, "uhh... These are sort of the last clean pair that I have, actually..."

Noctis makes a distressed noise from somewhere in the vicinity of his left knee, then sighs and shrugs lifelessly. "S'fine. Thanks." A particularly hard twinge has him stomping his foot on the floor a few times as his arm makes the final desperate shrieks back into the world of sensation, then he sits up with a deep breath and flexes his fingers to force the rest of the blood to finish flowing before turning to look at the clothing that Prompto had tossed over onto the bed.

 

A well-worn and loved band tshirt that had gone soft from use, a pair of (matching, for some reason?) socks and underwear featuring Cactuars making finger guns with the words "you're 1000% in my book!" regrettably printed all over them, and those Godsdamned plaid pants, but Noctis finds that he's not really as upset about it as he made himself out to be. The clothes looked and smelled like Prompto, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't find that a small source of comfort as he pulls them on. Even if plaid was the greatest fashion folly of humankind.

He's tugging on his boots and getting ready to make his way down to the hotel lobby to try to scope out a muffin that isn't poppyseed or banana nut, when Prompto makes a weird noise from the other side of the room and he slows to a stop, looking over at the blonde inquisitively.

 

"... What?"

 

"It's nothing! It's just- aren't you going to do your hair? It looks weird like that." Noctis makes a face and squints at him, and Prompto raises his hands in a pacifying motion before quickly continuing, "okay, not _weird,_ just weird for you. It doesn't look right."

 

Noct twines one of the longer strands around his finger, shrugging one shoulder lazily. "Honestly? I just don't care today. Does it matter?"

 

Prompto gives an indignant huff. "Of course it matters! How you look totally has an impact on the way you feel, and vice versa. Take it from me, dude, your hair matters." He moves to grab Noct by the wrist, and as usual, Noctis lets himself be tugged around by Prompto wherever the gunman wants. He'd probably help Prompto bury a body if he really wanted, though that was a situation that he was at least 60% positive wouldn't ever come up anyway. Probably. He'd do it though. "I'll style your hair for you, wait here."

 

Noctis does as he's told, sinking to the mattress as he listens to the other man behind him and the slight buzz of energy as the Armiger activates in response to Prompto pulling out various hair supplies.

 

To think that the Royal Armiger would end up becoming a bathroom cabinet. In all honesty, Noctis had shamefully used his own Armiger as a general storage space for all sorts of random junk by the end of his journey- having a tendency to just throw dirty laundry and Gods knows what else into that mystical void- something that had nearly sent Ignis into panicked fits on more than one occasion.

 

... How many individual lost socks were just floating around somewhere in the neverending aether at this point?

 

He shakes himself out of his thoughts as he feels Prompto settle on his knees behind him, suddenly feeling apprehensive as his eyes fall onto four different styling products laid out on the bed next to him.

 

"Don't worry," Prompto says confidently, catching the look in his eyes, "this is going to look AWESOME," and he twirls the comb he's holding in his hand with a flourish and a grin.

 

Noctis fidgets nervously.

 

He is very, very worried.

 

\---

 

Noctis and Prompto stumble out of the hotel nearly 45 minutes later (well, Noctis stumbles, Prompto bounces,) Noctis looking surly with hair so spiky that he's positive that between the hair and the clothing, he must look like a glam rocker from over 30 years ago, and Prompto looking deeply pleased with himself.

 

TO BE FAIR, he did have to give Prompto credit where it was due: despite defying gravity even further than Noct's normally ruffled style, the strands were still touchably soft as though they had no product in them at all, and Noctis had never known just how Prompto managed to do it. The one time he had asked, Prompto had winked and said, "trade secret," before changing the subject again, the little bastard.

 

Noctis sees Gladio and Ignis lounging at a table in the lobby with Talcott in a chair swinging his feet happily as he tears his way through two muffins and a danish, and Jared standing behind him with a hand on his chair and an indulgent look on his face like he knows he _really_ shouldn't let Talcott eat himself into a coma, but it was just too hard to tell the kid 'no' sometimes. All of them look up as Noctis approaches, and though he can tell the man is trying to be discreet, he sees Ignis' eyebrows jump up slightly.

 

"Wow," Gladio says with a grin.

 

"Oh..." Ignis trails off, hand frozen on his mug of coffee, expression caught in understated horror.

 

Noctis scowls. "Prompto did my hair, please be gentle with me."

 

"No, it looks-" and Ignis cuts himself off again, eyebrows wrinkling in confusion as he searches for words.

 

"Ridiculous," Gladio finishes for him, leaning an elbow back in his chair and smirking. "What time is the show? Are your roadies here to carry the equipment in, or do you need us to help out?"

 

Noctis opens his mouth and points at Gladio as he searches his brain for something to snap back with, but finds himself at a loss for word and instead just starts waggling his finger at Gladio's chest indignantly and huffing. "Hey, man. You know what? You just- okay, you really- just wow," and with that he crumples into one of the spare seats, slouching down as far as he can without slipping off of the thing entirely and glaring balefully up at Gladio over the edge of the table.

 

Gladio keeps grinning unrepentantly and winks.

 

Ignis looks between them and looks like he's about to start one of his diplomatic, "NOW BOYS," rants, when his phone starts vibrating on the table and he raises it to his face. He immediately sits up straight in his seat as he sees the name, moving to answer it so quickly that even Noct's interest is piqued and he forces himself up from his sulky slouch.

 

"Marshal?" Ignis answers, and now Noct is definitely paying attention, seeing both Prompto's and Gladio's faces snapping towards Ignis as well. "Yes, we arrived in Lestallum last night, thank you. Iris seems to be doing very well." He pauses, green eyes gazing through the open doors of the Leville somewhat unfocused and one long finger tapping against his forgotten coffee as he listens to the voice on the other end of the line. "Yes, that's fine, of course. Will you require any assistance?" Another, much longer pause, then, "understood. We'll contact you once we have everything necessary and make our way South. Thank you, marshal."

 

Ignis barely has time to end the call before Prompto jumps forward with a tense, "well?" seemingly torn between excitement and nervousness.

 

"The marshal has informed me that he will be unable to join us as the Empire has already begun forming blockades in an attempt to disrupt travel. Unfortunately he's occupied with dismantling them with members of the Crownsguard at present."

 

Gladio grimaces. "He need any help?"

 

Ignis immediately shakes his head with a sigh. "I asked, but he said it was more important that we make our way to Altissia. Apparently he and Mr. Sophair from the Hammerhead autoshop we stopped at are long time friends, and he has asked him and his granddaughter to go to Cape Caem to fix the King's royal vessel for us."

 

"'Mr. Sophair'? Oh, that grumpy old guy?" Prompto asks, and Ignis looks at him sternly.

 

"Yes, that 'grumpy old guy' happens to be one of the best mechanics in the country, along with his granddaughter. If anyone could fix the royal vessel quickly and discreetly, it would be the two of them."

 

"But?" Noctis asks wearily, just for fun. He knows exactly what the 'but' is, but it's a laugh to pretend he doesn't every now and then.

 

"But it's apparently in rather poor condition at present. Monica and Dustin have already begun aiding Mr. Sophair and Miss Cindy in getting parts for it, but they're apparently having some trouble getting a certain ore called 'Mythril'."

 

Talcott suddenly sits up at that, the bored, spaced out expression leaving his face. "Hey, I've read about that!"

 

Ignis regards him with some surprise, eyebrows raised. "Really?"

 

"Yeah, I read it in Grandpa's notebook! There some ruins near a lake way up North. It said you'll find Mythril inside!"

 

Ignis falls momentarily silent and hums, tapping a finger against his lower lip as he thinks, and Noct is about to open his mouth to leadingly ask, "oh, could you possibly mean the Vesperpool?" like he _doesn't fucking know,_ when a voice chimes in from behind him.

 

"Ahh, did I overhear that you're looking for Mythril? I think I may be of assistance."

 

Noctis freezes and feels the blood rush from his face, hands darting out to desperately grab at the edge of the table as though hoping the action will drag him out of whatever nightmare he just witlessly fell into once more. Finding his surroundings unchanged, he instead forces himself to slowly turn around, dark blue eyes wide as they fall on the literal last person he wants to see.

 

Ardyn stands behind him, haloed in glowing light like a mockery of a religious portrait with his dark red hair blazing brilliantly. Though he was speaking to the table, his eyes are staring straight into Noct's soul, and Noct can't help but swallow nervously in response as his mouth gapes open uselessly in horror before he finally finds his voice.

 

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." Noct says, flat and hoarse, and Ignis looks over at him in surprise.

 

"Oh, do you know this man?" He asks.

 

"NO," says Noctis.

 

"But of course," says Ardyn placidly. His eyes never leave Noct's face, seeming to drink up his _very_ obvious displeasure, as he continues, "and do believe me when I say that you might have a few problems getting to the ruins you need without my presence."

 

"What, are you some sort of archaeologist?" Gladio asks, voice sounding suspicious, and for once Noctis can't fault him.

 

"I've been known to dabble, but I wouldn't quite go that far. I do happen to have direct access to that area, however, and I would be happy to accompany you if you desire entry."

 

Noctis turns back around without saying a word, staring at the opposite wall blankly for several seconds before dropping his head to the table with a 'THUMP' so loud that Ignis' coffee mug rattles in place. He hears Prompto swear under his breath and set a hand on his shoulder, and tries to lift his head to slam it into the table just one more time, but his forehead connects with Prompto's hand instead as the blonde quickly shoves it in the way of his goal.

 

He doesn't want to admit it, every single part of his mind desperately searching for a way around the situation, but there's no way to avoid it: Ardyn does, in fact, have to be present for them to get to Steyliff Grove, and Noctis is, once more, totally fucked.

 

Who would have guessed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I have nothing against plaid, please don't be mad at me for making Noct hate it so much. THIS STORY IS ALL ABOUT HYPERBOLE.
> 
> 2\. I have no idea how children behave.
> 
> 3\. Some of the more weird, stilted parts of the conversation are actually directly from the game, believe it or not. I tried to change them up a bit to make them less awkward, but wanted to leave the basic structure similar for parts of it.
> 
> 4\. Writing one sided cellphone calls is starting to ruin my life.
> 
> 5\. I'm posting this right before I go to work, so I don't have as much time to obsessively pick over it looking for problems, so do let me know if anything is super messed up grammatically or spelling-wise. I'll probably find several huge issues or really awkward sentence structures that will mortify me later and I'll have to edit, but for now WHO KNOWS
> 
> 6\. Shits about to get real. I think.


	11. Chapter 11

The Immortal Accursed, Scourge Bringer and The Only Necessary Horseman of the Apocalypse, is sitting in the seat that Talcott had unoccupied after Jared ushered him quickly away, happily chewing on the Danish that was left untouched and looking completely unbothered by the four matching glares of mistrust being sent his way. From his vantage point with his cheek smashed sulkily against the table, Noctis stares up at him and can't help but wonder if Ardyn actually has the ability to enjoy regular food, or if it just turns to ash in his mouth immediately and all of this chewing and swallowing nonsense is just another elaborate hoax to try to blend in with real humans. That sounds like something that Ardyn would do.

 

He certainly deserves to chew through an ashy Danish just for the sake of tricking people into thinking he actually has a soul locked away in that empty sack of resentment he calls a body.

 

"Sooo," Prompto finally begins, hovering awkwardly behind Noct's chair and hand gripping the backrest nervously. Noct can feel him shifting his weight, the chair creaking slightly as he leans forward on it and then back again. "How... How do you know Luke?"

 

Noctis watches as Ardyn's eyebrows come together for a moment, repeating, "Luke?" in between bites of his Danish, then recognition dawning on him as he glances down at Noct's face. Noctis glares forcefully back, though admittedly the effect might be ruined by the way his cheek is currently smashing his mouth forward, "ahh, that's right. Luke." Ardyn smirks as he says the name, and Noctis finds his frown deepening in concern at his reaction.

 

The crawling itch of anxiety prickles at his mind as his brain quietly whispers _maybe he KNOWS_ yet again, but he does his best to not let it show on his face and instead shoves the thought back into the prison of neuroses he keeps the rest of his unfounded anxieties trapped inside. More than likely, Ardyn had just forgotten what his name was. It wasn't like they had spent weeks together: it had only been for a day. There was no reason to believe that Ardyn knew the name was completely made up.

 

"He gave me a ride to Hammerhead," Noctis says, turning to rest his chin on the table instead to speak more clearly. "He's super weird, but he's... Fine, I guess." He couldn't force himself to talk Ardyn up any more that that, he didn't care HOW MUCH he needed the other three to agree to let Ardyn come along. He would NOT describe Ardyn as "good people," or having "saved his life." _"Weird but fine I guess,"_ was his final offer.

 

Gladio's chair creaks as he leans back in it, arms crossed and looking at Ardyn with a hard expression. "And what was your name again?"

 

Ardyn pops the last bite of Danish in his mouth, taking his time to slowly chew and swallow before speaking, and Noctis is absolutely convinced that he's doing it just to piss him off even though that's probably completely irrational on his part. "Ardyn Izunia, at your service."

 

Noctis snorts but otherwise remains silent.

 

"Mr. Izunia, can you explain to us how exactly you have access to areas that are currently off-limits due to the Empire?" Ignis asks next, tone polite and face calm, but with a sharpness in his eyes as he watches Ardyn carefully. Looking for signs of dishonesty, probably.

 

Noct briefly wonders if Ignis sees nothing _but_ dishonesty considering Ardyn was practically Dishonesty Incarnate, or if the auburn haired man was so used to lying at this point that he appeared completely truthful to anyone who didn't know him and just how full of absolute and constant bullshit he was. Then he gets distracted as Ardyn smiles and laughs in a way that he would normally find warm and incredibly attractive if it was literally any other person in the world, but instead makes goosebumps rise up on his skin as he shivers imperceptibly.

 

"I suppose you could say I have a passport of sorts to travel as I wish," Ardyn says smoothly, as though he actually provided a concrete answer instead of just spouting out a sentence that basically amounted to nothing.

 

Gladio snorts. "Oh yeah? Kinda just sounds like you work for the Empire."

 

Warm amber eyes narrow into slits as Ardyn leans forward regarding Gladio, elbow resting on the edge of the table and chin braced casually on his hand. "Excellent, so you are more clever than you look. But I wouldn't exactly say _I_ work for _them._ " Gladio responds by tensing and humming mistrustfully in a way that really sounds more like a growl, but Ardyn simply smiles and raises his eyes to the ceiling in a subtle eyeroll for a moment before dropping them back to the other man's face. "Regardless, it makes no difference to me whether or not you accept my offer, but as I've said, I think you'll find it very difficult to get what you seek if you refuse. If it makes you feel better, I can assure you that I have no interest in what you do with the Mythril after you get it."

 

"So then, why help us at all?" Prompto cuts in suddenly, eyebrows drawn in confusion but looking less mistrustful than Ignis and Gladio. More just deeply, deeply baffled.

 

Ardyn turns his smile onto him, shrugging his shoulders as he leans back into his chair and laces his fingers over his stomach. "I have my reasons. Call it a passing curiosity."

 

With a sigh, Noctis finally sits up and flops back against his chair, running a hand tiredly over his face and then pinching the bridge of his nose. "How can you talk so much without actually saying _ANYTHING?_ " he groans in a voice that sounds more tortured than he'd like to let on, then rubs his eyes hard and looks up to Gladio and Ignis. "I personally don't think he's exactly lying though. There are reports everywhere of the Empire forming blockades on the roads, and if he's the only way we can get through them, then we don't have a lot of choice, right? Besides, if he tries something, we can just kill him."

 

Ignis visibly winces and grits his teeth, looking as though he's been physically struck by the mere notion of such a threat. "Luke, don't joke about those sorts of things, you'll get us arrested or worse."

 

Noctis meets his gaze firmly. "I'm not joking. I will fucking kill him myself."

 

"How delightful," Ardyn offers calmly, and Noctis looks back to see him doing one of those creepy smiles at him, imagining the quiet threat of _"I would love to see you try"_ hanging over his head.

 

He does feel a little bad when Ignis puffs out a small, agonized sigh and places both of his hands on the table to center himself again, but Noct's eyes remain glaring at Ardyn all the same. Ardyn stares back, seeming to study his face for another few seconds as his eyes slowly scan over every inch of Noct's cold expression, before smirking and looking back to Ignis as the man speaks. "Alright, if we can move forward. Assuming we accept your offer, how will we get there?"

 

Ardyn appears pleased as he adjusts one of his gloves, and Noctis knows that he can already tell that he's won. "The ruins aren't more than a day's drive from here, and I have my automobile in the car park. We take two vehicles; a convoy of sorts. You can follow behind me and I'll take you to the place you seek."

 

Somewhat unwillingly, Noct finally tears his gaze away from Ardyn's face to look over to the others, finding them looking between one another uncertainly. Each appears hesitant, but thankfully somewhat resigned.

 

"Well, we in?" Gladio asks slowly, and Prompto nods in response.

 

"We just take a ride..." Prompto trails off, and Gladio finishes, "but watch our backs," as Noctis gives a less than enthusiastic thumbs up.

 

"Fair enough," Ignis says on an exhale, lacing his fingers together. "When shall we depart?"

 

"Oh, I'm ready whenever you are," Ardyn says casually, though he stands a little too quickly. "I'll just be making the last of my preparations in the car park. Meet me there whenever you're ready to set forth," and with that and a swirl of way too much heavy fabric considering the blinding heat of the city, Ardyn strides out of the hotel and disappears down one of the alleyways.

 

Gladio groans as soon as he disappears and stares up at the ceiling, rocking back and forth on the legs of the chair. "I do NOT trust that guy," he says, sounding agonized at having to ignore his (absolutely correct) instincts and allow himself and his friends to put themselves at risk. Noct can sympathize with the notion, but he at least knows something that offers some small measure of comfort: each of them, at this point, are probably significantly more valuable to Ardyn alive. Though he has no idea exactly what Ardyn has planned in this reality, the man never did anything unless it benefitted him in the long run somehow, so chances were high that Ardyn has something in mind for them beyond just a quick death if he was willing to go so far out of his way to make sure they got to the Mithril. 

 

Which... Wasn't so much comforting as it was just slightly sickening, but it did mean that his friends were in no immediate life threatening danger.

 

"I don't trust him either, but I don't think we have much of a choice. Luke is right, though, if anything unexpected happens, we fight our way out if necessary," Ignis says, and all three nod as they stand.

 

"Great, can't wait. Last one there's a lame chocobo," Noct drawls, tone sounding as deadened as his feels, and ignores the upset noise that Prompto makes at his phrase as though Noctis had actually injured a chocobo in front of him as he takes the stairs up to the room two at a time.

 

At least he knew for a fact that he wouldn't be stuck talking to Ardyn for hours in the car again like the ride from Galdin, considering the last time he had tried to ride with Ardyn out of Lestallum, the man had refused in the creepiest way possible. And that was some genuine source of relief.

 

\---

 

"Why don't you ride with me?"

 

Noct's jaw drops open and eyebrows wrinkle together in irritated horror at Ardyn's words, flinging his duffel bag heavily to the ground.

 

"What do you mean, _'why don't I ride with you?'_ You don't want that! I'm a horrible passenger! I talk a lot, I always put my feet on the dashboard, and don't even get me started on the food wrappers."

 

Ardyn smiles as Noctis blusters, something that only makes him angrier as he stares desperately up into sharp golden eyes. This was _not. Right._ Ardyn wasn't SUPPOSED to want him in his car, he had been exceedingly clear about it the first time Noct had asked to ride with him in an underhanded attempt at keeping an eye on him in Noct's real timeline.

 

It's at this point that Noctis desperately wishes that he'd actually waited for the other three to finish preparations and gone all together, but in his impatience, he'd just grunted in acknowledgement when Ignis said they'd be another fifteen minutes, and made his way to the car park by himself. He'd been expecting to slide into the Regalia and pointedly ignore Ardyn for those fifteen minutes while he messed around on his phone, but instead Ardyn had practically trapped him against the side of the car the moment he walked over. Maybe if he'd waited, he'd have the other three to back him up and insist that he stay with them; as it is, he finds himself pressing as close to the Regalia as possible despite the burning hot metal searing through his shirt as he tries to lean away from the man in front of him, brain searching desperately for any excuse not to ride in that hideous cherry cola red car that violated every single principle of his aesthetics and taste. 

 

"I'm afraid I must insist," Ardyn says, voice all velvet and warm caramel and Noctis HATES HIM, "I hate to call it 'collateral,' but I would admittedly feel much safer with one of you riding with me. And besides, we're practically friends already, aren't we?" Ardyn smiles. Noctis glares. "The journey will be several hours, and I do find myself getting lonely at times. I'm sure the company would be welcome."

 

Noctis openly rolls his eyes and crosses his arms at that, leaning his head back against the side of the Regalia's roof as he regards Ardyn with a smug smirk on his face. He just can't help himself: "I dunno, you might find the cost of the company to be more than you bargained for," he says in his very best Fuck You Ardyn impression, and he _intends_ for it to sound like a threat, but realizes a little too late that the words sound completely different out loud than they did in his head. Less _"it could cost you your life,"_ and more, _"5000 gil an hour, no hair pulling or kissing."_ Ardyn is staring at him hard now, lip curling into a somewhat feral smirk, and Noct's eyes widen as he raises his hands up to wave them in the air as though trying to shoo away the words hanging heavy between them. "Wait, that sounded REALLY weird, that's not what I meant, don't get any creepy ideas," he starts babbling, panic making his voice so quick it's almost unintellible in his rush to correct his mistake.

 

He finally cuts himself off when Ardyn puffs out a mirthless laugh, entire body freezing in place as he feels fingers grip his hip to slowly push him back against the car. Sharp electricity immediately springs to life at the touch, coiling tight under his skin for one moment, then suddenly ripping a gasp from his throat and causing his leg to nearly buckle as it shoots through his entire body the next. It feels so intense that he wants to flinch away from it, but like getting electrocuted, it's as though every muscle in his body seizes towards it instead, locking him in place where he stands.

 

He's only vaguely aware of Ardyn bending down towards him until the man's stubble is dragging against the side of his cheek, convulsing into a shiver at the unexpected sensation and world narrowing down to the hand at his hip and the mouth against his ear.

 

"I'd watch that clever tongue of yours if I were you, _boy,_ " Ardyn murmurs against his ear, deep and smokey and full of hate, and Noct's hands dart out to grip his forearm with the intention of shoving him away, but they end up just anchoring there to keep himself from falling instead, "it's liable to give you away to the wrong person."

 

Somewhere in the very back of his mind, Noctis knows that the words should probably be forcing panic to rise up in his chest- that they _mean something-_ but he feels like a million sets of wings are beating against the inside of his skin in a flurry to escape, and Ardyn smells of something so achingly familiar that it makes his heart hurt and his mind unfocused. He turns his face closer, cheek dragging along the roughness of the other man's jaw as he pulls in another shaky inhale and wonders if Ardyn actually smells like ozone, old books, and something vaguely green and growing, or if it's just his mind creating a silly, romantic daydream to fill in the blanks for a scent he can't quite place, but feels like he should.

 

It smells amazing though, whatever it is. And it's weird, because he had always imagined that Ardyn would smell something like the sickly sweetness of rotting vegetation, not something so completely and totally _alive._

 

_Ozone, and old books, and damp earth, and the sharp freshness of vetiver..._

 

Noct's turned his face so far against Ardyn at this point that his lips begin dragging along the rough underside of his jaw, and the sensation of stubble along his mouth is what finally sends him crashing back into his body with a jolt. Blue eyes shoot open in a blind panic, shoving against the unmovable wall that is Ardyn's chest so hard that he sends himself falling sideways against the Regalia and has to stumble to stay on his feet.

 

He raises a wild gaze up to Ardyn to find the man staring at him with his brow drawn together and face tense, but otherwise unreadable. Just staring at him as though trying to work out a complicated math equation he's never encountered before, dark gold eyes scanning over Noct's frenzied expression like he's committing it to memory. Several seconds later, and the look is gone, smoothed back into a mask of practiced calm as though nothing bizarre had happened at all.

 

"Dude," is all Noctis manages to force out, chest heaving and hand pressed against his mouth to try to push out the phantom sensations out of his lips. He can still feel energy beating desperately under his skin, radiating from where Ardyn had been pressing into his hip and tingling in a way that he can't totally convince himself to hate. It still strikes him as uncomfortably recognizable, like a memory hanging just on the edge of his mind that his entire body feels drawn to. For one wild moment Noctis almost considers grabbing Ardyn's hands to press them back against himself to feel that rush again, but the next he's sliding his hands through his hair to keep them safely occupied and pacing back and forth next to the car instead.

 

"Are you alright?" Ardyn finally asks blandly, as though he hadn't just shattered Noct's entire conscious being into stardust and scattered him across the cosmic winds, and Noct suddenly finds himself back to safely seething with rage at the other man. Rage was the only acceptable emotion to have towards Ardyn, and Noct is just glad to have found it again, honestly.

 

"NO I'm not alright, what the _fuck_ was-"

 

"Hey, whoa, what's going on?" Prompto's concerned voice abruptly rings out, and Noctis spins on his heel to find the blond jogging up to him with a worried look on his face. "Is everything okay?"

 

Noctis almost shouts in frustration at being interrupted, snapping his head back towards Ardyn and wanting nothing more than to finally get some answers, but the man is already smirking and turning back towards his own car looking completely unconcerned.

 

He heaves out a sigh and looks back at Prompto, faking the best smile he can.

 

It isn't very good. "I'm fine, Prom, sorry. I'm gonna ride with Ardyn though."

 

Prompto's entire face opens into a look of genuine shock and horror, and Noctis can practically hear the gears in his soul screeching to a halt, though all Prompto manages to force out is a quiet, but deeply genuine, " _Dude,_ why?"

 

"Keeping an eye on him, yes? I think it's a good idea," Ignis says in a low voice, stepping forward himself and nodding a greeting to Noct.

 

"Yeah. That," Noct agrees wearily, waving one hand vaguely in confirmation. Sure, voluntarily deciding to take one for the team and keep an up-close and personal eye on Ardyn. His decision. Yep.

 

"Just be careful. We have no idea what his real goals are, and I don't want to have to save your scrawny ass if you get yourself in too deep," Gladio chimes in helpfully as he opens the door to the backseat, and though he sounds concerned, Noctis can absolutely tell that he's at least happy at the prospect of having the entire back of the car to himself again. The lucky bastard.

 

"Yeah yeah, I know," Noct says bitterly, and with a sound between a sigh and a groan, leans down to drag his duffel bag back up onto his shoulder and shuffle unwillingly to the passenger side of Ardyn's car.

 

"Excellent, are we all ready, then?" Ardyn calls as Noctis flings his heavy bag into the backseat, and he sends a quiet prayer to the heavens that the loud whump it makes upon landing is the sound of something heavy tearing through the leather. And just to make sure to cause as much damage as possible, he chooses to hop over the side of the car door and very purposefully lets his boots scrape against the leather of the seat before dragging them down onto the floorboards, staring challengingly at Ardyn for every second of it.

 

He thinks he might see Ardyn roll his eyes, but he isn't entirely sure.

 

Ignis lowers the hood of the Regalia and then nods his affirmation. "Yes, ready when you are. We'll follow you."

 

Noctis watches as a smirk spreads over Ardyn's face, and his stomach drops nervously at the sight of it. "Do try to keep up," the man says pleasantly, voice serene but eyes dangerous, and Noctis immediately begins fumbling desperately for the seat belt.

 

He just barely manages to get it clasped before Ardyn is throwing his automobile equivalent of a polyester leisure suit into reverse and flying backwards, and Noct will NOT admit to screaming, but it would be a lie to say he doesn't at least yelp and clutch at the dashboard as they go tearing out of the car park.

 

Godsdammit he _hates Ardyn._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. STRANGE THINGS ARE AFOOT AT THE CIRCLE K.
> 
> 2\. I spent three days slightly rewording the same three paragraphs over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
> 
> 3\. I seemingly have no rhyme or reason for when I switch between 'Noct' and 'Noctis,' except that overall I seem to write Noct's instead of Noctis'.
> 
> 4\. Vetiver is the best scent in the world, I don't give a shit what anyone else says (for reasons that I will never understand, some people seem to be extremely opposed to the smell of vetiver.) It has a VERY distinct scent that if you've ever smelled it in perfume, you'll be able to pick it out instantly forever, but if you haven't smelled it... It literally just smells like "green". There's no other way to describe it. It smells like pure, condensed, ultra vibrant green. If Ardyn smelled like pure vetiver, I would probably creepy-shove my face into his neck too because that shit is GOOD.
> 
> EDIT: 5. Don't you love how almost every work of fiction has to have some longwinded ramble about a character smelling another character and being like, "LOOK, THIS PERSON SMELLS LIKE ALL OF THESE FLOWERY THINGS THAT HUMANS LITERALLY DO NOT SMELL LIKE," for eight paragraphs? I KNOW, I KNOW. For what it's worth, I don't really think Ardyn literally smells like any of those things, more just like... Noctis is sensing something familiar that his brain can't quite figure out, and it's doing it's goshdarn best to process the signals however it can. Because brains are actually really dumb and will make shit up to fit a narrative, including smells.
> 
> SCIENCE.


	12. Chapter 12

For someone who can't quite be classified as entirely living, Ardyn really looks surprisingly healthy. The rays of the setting sun that manage to fight their way through the thick foliage around the Vesperpool seem to catch his hair just right to turn it a brilliant scarlet-purple, shiny and soft looking despite it's wild appearance. Shallow lines crinkle at the edges of his eyes and across his forehead, but despite that his light olive skin still always manages to appear warm and clear in a way that only a heartbeat should be able to provide, something that Noct can't quite find a reason for considering Ardyn is _completely fucking heartless._

 

Really, when he doesn't seem to be plotting the genocide of an entire species, Ardyn's face as a whole occasionally looks so gentle that it makes Noct's heart ache with some strange, unidentifiable emotion that feels suspiciously both like nostalgia and pity. His amber eyes can appear surprisingly soft when they aren't under the harsh line of drawn-together eyebrows, and Noct wonders if the gentleness of his eyes is something that bothers Ardyn as the last remaining piece of evidence to a completely different life that ended long ago, or if he knows exactly how much power they grant him and delights in being able to use them to trick people into a false sense of ease before he strikes.

 

Noctis hates it when he resembles a man instead of the daemon he is. It makes it so much harder to vilify him when his face is relaxed into something devastatingly beautiful in it's utter normalcy.

 

He has to stop himself from jumping as he notices those warm gold eyes shift over to look at him (because of course they do, he's been staring for what feels like hours now,) his own eyes widening slightly for a brief moment at being caught before squinting in a challenge even as he has to bring himself back to Eos. The campground the party is waiting at comes back into focus again, the faint blue light of the protective runes just starting to become visible as the sun shrinks behind the horizon, and the irritating hum of insects crawling back into the forefront of Noct's awareness.

 

"Something catching your eye, Luke?" Ardyn asks innocently, turning to face him from where he's been standing on the other side of the unlit firepit. "I must say, I'm not used to being observed so intently. I'll have to try to replicate it if it's actually managed to tear your interest away from your phone for so long." And what an absolutely crabby old man sort of thing to say. It reminds Noct so much of bitter, cantankerous grandparents complaining during the holidays about _"kids these days with their faces stuck in their screens!"_ that he would have snorted, if Ardyn wasn't walking towards him and smirking down at him.

 

Noct glares harder instead, eyes burning as he refuses to be the first one to blink despite how badly he needs to. "No. Just wondering how you manage to wear so many different fabrics without any of them actually matching," he snaps back, finally tearing his eyes away to glance to the side in a way that he hopes looks dismissive, but is actually just a front for him to blink a little moisture back into his eyes. When he eventually pulls his gaze back up to glance at Ardyn through the relative shield of his eyelashes, he finds the other man watching him curiously, contemplative and somewhat victorious with his head still tilted irritatingly to the side and one eyebrow slightly raised. His eyes have gone back to looking sharp, sizing up every single micro-expression on Noct's face as they scan over him, and Noct's heart starts racing and his cheeks feel oddly warm as he watches the smirk slowly growing across the other man's face. He suddenly feels angry for no reason, scowling hard and getting to his feet.

 

"It's rude to stare, you know. And also kinda creepy," Noct says challengingly, and has to force himself to not bend his spine backwards in a desperate escape as Ardyn leans towards him in response.

 

"How interesting... I was going to say something similar. Though I don't find it 'creepy,' on the contrary, I think it's simply _fascinating,_ " Ardyn responds in deep, smooth tones, and Noct can't decide if he looks like he wants eat him, or kill him and _then_ eat him. He takes a step back either way, huffing in irritation before pushing past without another word, moving to where Prompto is messing around on his camera a few yards away and ignoring the odd prickle at the back of his neck as he knows Ardyn is still watching him for several long moments.

 

He just wishes his heart would stop beating so hard.

 

Prompto looks up at him with a tense smile and an exhaled, "hey," camera still raised in his hands from where he was taking photos of Ignis and Gladio sparring a little ways away from the camp. Noctis can tell he's doing his best to seem normal, but Prompto's been acting nervous since they'd all arrived at camp an hour ago and Ardyn had come over to join them. 

 

They _all_ were, really. Even Ignis and Gladio seemed to only be half-focusing on one another, moves ending up sloppier than normal as they keep throwing glances over to the form standing casually by the firepit.

 

"Hey yourself," Noctis says in response, holding his hand out in a silent request to see the camera. Prompto hands it over easily, moving to look over Noct's shoulder as he starts scrolling through the different shots for the day.

 

"None of them are very good this time," He says anxiously, Noctis catching him flinch in embarrassment at one particular shot that seems especially poorly framed. The blonde doesn't dwell on it though, instead turning his head slightly closer to Noct and lowering his voice as he whispers, "dude, that guy is seriously creeping me out. How did you ride with him for hours without going crazy?"

 

Noctis breathes out a laugh, half from Prompto's words, and half from the way his hair starts tickling against his neck from the proximity. "You get used to it after a while, honestly. He had some old cassette that I just kept rewinding and playing over and over again to keep him from trying to talk to me. Though I swear I'll throw myself into the Rock of Ravatogh if I have to hear 'What's New Coeurl Cat' one more time in my entire life."

 

Prompto lets a quiet laugh against his neck as he slumps forward on him in silent mirth, and Noctis can't help but grin and press back into him at the absurdity of it all now that he says it out loud. " _DUDE,_ he had a _cassette tape?!_ Do they even make those anymore?"

 

Noctis shrugs helplessly as they both continue laughing, the situation objectively not really all that funny, but the relative levity of it all in comparison to the rest of the day full of anxiety and nerve-wracking road blocks leaving them breathless with mirth. He spares Ardyn a glance over Prompto's head from where the blonde has his chin resting against his shoulder, and finds the man watching him with an odd smile of his own on his face, hands shoved into the pockets of his coat and one leg crossed in front of the other with the toe of his boot resting on the ground. He looks away a moment later though, meeting Prompto's violet eyes instead.

 

The sun has almost sunken completely under the horizon at this point anyway, and he'll have all night to brood over Ardyn's presence. Right now if he just wants to spend five minutes laughing over something stupid with Prompto and looking through photos displaying all the bizarre faces they made mid-battle, then that's exactly what he was going to do.

 

\---

 

Just like all the blockades that they had traveled through earlier in the day, getting them to the ruins seems to take no more effort than Ardyn simply motioning for them to wait, then spending several hushed moments speaking to a few guards before they're being waved through no questions asked. If they recognize Ignis and Gladio as noblemen from the enemy country, they don't bother to show it, instead keeping their eyes focused ahead as their motley crew sloshes their way through the swampy water towards the ruins. Well, all except for one: out of the corner of his eye, Noctis catches a head of silver hair suddenly turn to look towards the group, Aranea's face immediately splitting into a look of puzzled suspicion as her eyes fall on each of them separately. Her lips part and eyebrows come together as she gets to him, looking as though she almost recognizes him but can't quite remember where she knows him from, and for a moment Noct thinks she might actually call out to him, but he quickly ducks his head and speeds up before she can say anything.

 

He chances a glance over his shoulder when they're a safe distance away, seeing her still looking after them but otherwise remaining where she is. Honestly, he can't decide whether he finds that a relief, or if he wants to go running back to her and begging that she come with them again like last time, but he pushes it from his mind and turns forward once more.

 

Ignis appears to be equal parts impressed and suspicious with their ease of entry as they continue on, eyes trained almost entirely on Ardyn. "Precisely what relation did you say you have to the Empire, again?" He asks once they're safely out of earshot of the posted guards, and Ardyn waves a hand dismissively in the air but doesn't bother to look at him as he continues walking.

"Nothing important, really," he says flippantly, and Ignis shoots him a sharp look in response, jaw tense.

 

Noctis hears Prompto make a derisive noise next to him. "Important enough to get us through here without us being questioned. Why all the secrets? Can't you just tell us?"

 

Ardyn actually does turn to look at Prompto now, seeming to consider his words before chuckling and shaking his head. "What, and spoil all the fun of finding out later? Don't fret, you're quite safe with me regardless," Ardyn says, then drags his eyes to look over at Noctis and _winks_ as though the two are sharing some sort of grand secret with one another. Noct can feel his face contorting in confusion as Ardyn turns back around, heart racing in panic and breath starting to come short in his lungs.

 

Why single HIM out of the group to look at like that? Or was he just overthinking things _again,_ and it meant nothing more than Ardyn being an absolute shit and trying to throw him off balance, as per usual?

 

It takes a great deal of self restraint on Noct's part to keep himself silent at this point, gnawing on the inside of his cheek to keep himself from screaming in either frustration or pent up anxiety as they continue trudging their way through muddy water. Even the constant buzzing threat of mosquitoes, his actual least favorite thing in the entirety of the world, isn't quite enough to pull him out of his existential angst.

 

And isn't that just the kicker about Ardyn? How he can repeatedly undo every ounce of Noct's composure with a single look or touch that seemingly means nothing and everything all at once? It just isn't _fair._

 

He sighs as he swats one of those omnipresent mosquitoes off of his hand, crossing his arms somewhat sulkily and glaring at nothing in particular.

 

If Ardyn didn't directly kill him himself, Noct's constant stewing over the man certainly would.

 

\---

 

"Why does it only open at night?" Prompto asks as they find themselves standing in front of the entrance to the ruins, eyes open wide as he takes in the cavernous entrance.

 

Ardyn shrugs languidly, hands in the pockets of his stupid coat. "They say the people of ancient Solheim used these ruins as a temple to the god of water and death. She opened the gates to the Underworld at nighttime, and the souls of the recently deceased were sent through a series of trials inside these walls. Those who made their way through before the sun rose joined her in the realm of the afterlife."

 

"And those that didn't?" Prompto asks nervously, and Ardyn smiles back in a way that is probably meant to be soothing, but really just comes off as unnerving and predatory.

 

"Who can say? Stuck between the land of living and the afterlife, trapped inside these ruins, most likely."

 

"And who, exactly, is 'they'?" Gladio asks next, staring hard.

 

Ardyn shrugs again and twirls his hand in the air. "Oh, who knows."

 

Noctis groans. "Literally _no one says that._ I've never heard that before in my life. Do you spend time coming up with total bullshit to say in advance, or do you just have an incredibly quick, vivid imagination?" He turns to Prompto. "Don't listen to him, Prom, he's totally full of shit. Ghosts don't exist. Well, daemons do, and there are probably a _ton_ of those, but-" Prompto cuts him off with an anxious groan, and Noctis raises his hand to quiet him, " _-BUT,_ at least daemons can be killed, right? So it's not so bad." He looks up and glares at Ardyn during the last part, but finds him looking entirely unbothered as he studies the ancient architecture around them.

 

Briefly Noct wonders if it reminds Ardyn of home, and feels a pang in his chest when he considers whether or not it's possible for a daemon to feel something as mundane as homesickness, but he squashes that one as quickly as it comes up.

 

He will _NOT_ humanize this asshole.

 

"Might I suggest we simply go inside and find out?" Ignis suggests, ever the wise one of the group, and all of them save Prompto nod in response. Prompto is still gritting his teeth and leaning as far backwards as possible without actually falling over, but Noct just claps him on the shoulder first, then moves to lightly grip him by the wrist to drag him down towards the pitch blackness below them.

 

What feels like several full minutes and twenty flights later, they finally reach the bottom, Prompto gripping Noct's hand so hard at this point that he can feel the blood being pushed forcefully out of his fingers as they throb in protest. The pale light of the flashlights attached to their clothing offers little in the way of vision, and Noct can't help but notice with some discomfort that Ardyn seems to stroll forward confidently despite the lack of flashlight on his own coat. For a second he thinks he might even see his eyes glinting in the darkness like a nocturnal predator, but then Ardyn is turning his head to look down another corridor and he can't decide if it was just his imagination or not.

 

"So... About those daemons," Prompto begins nervously, and Noct can feel his hand growing slightly slippery with perspiration, but resists the urge to yank it free and wipe it on his pants, offering what he hopes is a calming squeeze instead.

 

"We'll worry about that when we find them. Don't freak out so much. Just don't let them touch you when we get there," Noctis says with one last final squeeze to Prompto's hand before wrenching his own free at last, stepping forward to glance into one of the adjacent rooms.

 

Prompto snorts as he moves away. "Yeah... Great. Just don't let them touch me, huh? Awesome. Easy peasy. Thanks for the tip."

 

Six rooms and absolutely zero daemons later, Noctis is starting to look at Ardyn suspiciously. That Ardyn can control daemons and keep them hiding in the shadows he has absolutely no doubt, but his hypothetical reasons for doing so remain more of a mystery. His _whole thing_ is tormenting the people around him, so to practically let the entire group walk through every single room without a single ambush seems so suspicious that it makes Noct's skin crawl.

 

He exits into another hallway just in time to see Ardyn disappearing into the shadows, barely sparing a glance to the optical illusion of water shimmering over his head and instead quickening his pace to try to catch up with the other man. Behind him he can hear Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto responding in shock at the sight, but he's barely listening as he slides (admittedly a little too quickly to really be considered cautious or safe) across the tiny crumbled ledge leading from one part of the hallway to the next, intent in his focus as he tries to keep track of the sound of Ardyn's heavy boots on the ground somewhere ahead of him.

 

Entering into another conspicuously daemon-free room, he stops in his tracks as he finally sees Ardyn standing in the middle of it, unperturbed with his hands in his pockets and his back towards Noct. The other man has taken to whistling absentmindedly, looking up and around in delight at the stonework like a man rediscovering a favorite piece of artwork again, seeming so out of place in his total relaxation that Noct is honestly impressed he would be so ballsy in his apathy. He could at least _pretend_ to be worried about being attacked.

 

"Kinda weird we haven't run into any issues yet, don't you think?" Noctis asks, tone hard, and Ardyn's whistling halts as he slowly lowers his gaze to regard Noctis with an expression that seems equal parts calculating and amused.

 

"Is it? I hadn't noticed," Ardyn answers lightly, stepping towards the archway Noct is hovering in. He smiles as he does so, leaning forward just enough to murmur, "one shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth though, yes? You did just tell the little blonde to worry about the daemons when we get to them," before he's disappearing behind another corner in a rustle of heavy fabric dragging on the stones below them.

 

Noctis curses and jogs to catch up, momentarily forgetting all about Ignis, Prompto, and Gladio in his haste to keep Ardyn in his sight.

 

One moment he's rounding a corner at a dash, hand gripping the stone to pull himself around, then the next he's treading on air as the floor collapses silently under him, his own cry piercing through the air the only indication that something has happened at all.

 

" _FUCK._ "

 

The word echoes loudly off the impassive stone of the ruins as Noct tumbles through the air, reaching out for something to grab onto before he's hitting into the stone of the next floor with a loud groan. He can hear footsteps on the floor above him, Gladio immediately calling out to him to ask if he's okay, but he's too distracted by the sound of a daemon manifesting and growling to life to his right side to bother responding for a moment.

 

"Uhh... Relatively?" He calls back shakily, hand moving to the hilt of his sword as gets to his feet and takes several cautious steps backwards. Nothing seems to be broken, at least, though the fall certainly did nothing to help the chronic ache in his back from old daemon wounds.

 

The sting to his pride and irritated disbelief that he forgot about this Godsdamned dungeon and it's tendency to dissolve the floor under you hurts worse than the bruising, though. Lucky he didn't have much pride left to lose.

 

Noct is just beginning to tense, ready to take on the manifesting Reapers swirling to life in a sea of sickly green flame, when he swears he can see a dim flash of pinkish red light illuminate the room for a split second and then an arm is suddenly curling around his waist as a hand simultaneously clamps over his mouth to muffle his surprised shout.

 

"You're going to get yourself killed at this rate," Ardyn says against his ear, Noctis reflexively jerking at his touch but still allowing himself be dragged backwards away from the light of the daemons as that bizarre pulse of energy emanates from the other man's hands again. "Really, are you always so reckless, or is there something about decaying ruins specifically that causes you to run around like a _fool?_ "

 

Ardyn finally pulls his hand away from his mouth as they round a corner, though his arm remains around Noct's waist as though he's worried that he might bolt again even as Noct is slumping weakly against the wall, adrenaline making his legs shake. Dark blue eyes meet gold for a moment as Noctis endeavors to catch his breath, trying to force his heart rate to slow down, then he can't seem to keep himself from smirking and raising an eyebrow.

 

"How fortunate for me that you found a way down so quickly. Truly, my hero," Noct says breathlessly, a wild, open mouthed smile making it's way across his face between gasps as Ardyn narrows his eyes at him. "How on _Eos_ did you manage it? Surely you didn't climb all the way down at your age."

 

"Next time I'll let you meet your end with a broken leg as the daemons tear you apart if you'd prefer it."

 

Noctis leans his head back against the wall and lets out a soft, breathy laugh, eyes sliding shut. He feels strangely dizzy again, nearly drunk from the waves of electricity rushing through him. It almost feels like the first time he'd learned how to use magic, the power that had surged through him so wild and uncontrollable that it had left him faint the first few times he practiced trying to harness it.

 

"I could have taken them," he finally says quietly, eyes opening halfway to find Ardyn watching his face again, one arm still curled around his waist and the other bracing his weight on the wall. He can practically see the moment that something seems to click in Ardyn's mind, the man's eyebrows raising a fraction and a small smile playing across his mouth, before he finally retracts his arms to stand up straight again.

 

All of Noct's giddy mirth leaves him in a rush and he suddenly finds himself feeling unnerved, but if Ardyn really had seen something in his expression, he doesn't comment on it.

 

"By all means, be my guest," Ardyn says instead as he takes several steps back, adjusting his sleeves with a flick of his wrist, "I'm sure they're still waiting for you, if you'd care to give it a shot."

 

"Naaah, I'm all good." Noct mutters, massaging his fingertips into the skin of his waist where the skin is still jumping with energy.

 

He _could_ take two Reapers by himself... He didn't particularly want to though. Especially when he didn't trust Ardyn to not summon more just to fuck with him.

 

The loud clatter of footsteps herald the arrival of the others, Prompto immediately running up to grab him by the shoulders, and Gladio and Ignis practically slumping with relief at the sight of him.

 

Ignis gently pulls Prompto back to run his hands over Noct himself, fingertips light as he checks for any injuries. "Thank the Gods you're alright, did you hurt yourself anywhere? Do you need a curative?" Ignis asks in a rush, sounding surprisingly worked up. Noctis flinches as his hands run over the spot where Ardyn had just been gripping him, the pressure and friction almost seeming to make the tingling worse.

 

"I'm fine, I promise. Don't go in that room though, I practically fell on top of two Reapers in there. Luckily Ardyn literally _saved my life though,_ or so he seems to keep insisting. I just want everyone to know that I could have taken them."

 

"Ardyn 'saved' you, did he?" Gladio says, crossing his arms and tilting his head as he looks to the other man. "How did you get down so much faster than us, anyway? We had to completely backtrack to find a way down, and yet you got here way before us."

 

Ardyn smiles, looking unperturbed as usual by the aggressiveness. "I'm afraid I was caught when the floor collapsed as well. I simply landed closer to the exit than Luke did."

 

"All's well that ends well, right? Now that we have that sorted out, can we, like, go? Like, now? Like, five minutes ago, actually?" Prompto cuts in nervously, eyes glued to the haunting green light growing and fading in intensity as the Reapers move around the adjacent room in ghostly silence. "This place is _seriously_ giving me the creeps. I just want to get the Mythril and get out of here."

 

"There is admittedly something a little unnerving about these ruins," Ignis says, finally letting go of Noct once he seems satisfied that nothing broke on his tumble from the upper floor. "I'm afraid I've become slightly disoriented from this whole fiasco, however. I'm not entirely sure which direction to go."

 

"Only one other way to try," Noct says, pointing at an archway in front of them, "might as well take a look. If it's the wrong way, we can always double back and try the room with the Reapers." Prompto shudders at that, and Noctis tries to smile, though he's pretty sure it ends up looking more like a grimace.

 

On the upside, he knows for a FACT that the way he just indicated is the correct way to go, but Prompto didn't have to know that.

 

Noctis hangs back after that, choosing to let Ignis guide the way despite practically knowing the entire layout of the ruins by heart after two separate visits to the place in his last life. He doesn't even say anything as the three others take ten minutes figuring out how to get past a single area, instead attempting to keep an eye on Ardyn (who keeps disappearing into the shadows,) while pretending to just be searching for treasure. Which, as it turns out, starts off MUCH more enjoyable than leading a confused group of men through a dungeon with ceilings that continually disappear and then reform with the dizzying speed of a magician playing a sleight of hand.

 

At first, the only unbearable part is that Ardyn seems to immediately pick up on exactly what Noct is trying to do, continually leading him further and further from the group before suddenly reappearing near the other three and shouting out, "come along, Luke, don't dawdle!" in the most irritatingly cheerful voice Noctis has ever heard in his entire life. By the third time it happens he's close to ripping his hair out, the potions and trinkets he's stuffed into various pockets of his pants an ineffective balm to the pure rage coursing through his blood.

 

He can still feel the thrum of energy in his body from Ardyn touching him again, too, and that almost makes him angrier than everything else put together. Being purposefully led astray, only to be condescendingly called after like an unruly puppy was one thing, but the constant buzzing reminder of fingertips on his skin making his heart race was absolutely _infuriating._

They don't encounter any more daemons until they're all the way at the last bridge on the fourth floor, and at this point Noctis is so wound up and ready to strike in his irritation that he rips the blade from his back and nearly stomps into the center of them without pause, but Gladio grabs him by the shoulder and tosses him gently backwards before he can get too far. Well, gently for Gladio. Noctis nearly goes tumbling like a ragdoll, but it's his own damn fault for being so hell-bent on blood that he isn't paying attention to his feet.

 

"What did I say about running off on your own?" Gladio growls at him, and Noctis literally bites his tongue and begins bouncing on the balls of his feet to keep himself from snapping back like a child.

 

"There aren't even that many of them! Just-" Noctis squints around Gladio's shoulder, eyes widening as he actually bothers to look at the monsters waiting for them on the bridge. He swallows and looks back. "Just three Necromancers, two Reapers, four Flans, and like-" Noctis glances again, "-Six Skeletons? Seven? I dunno, little bastards won't stop bouncing around."

 

"So around fifteen daemons are on that bridge, and you would classify that as 'not that many,'" Ignis questions flatly.

 

Noctis shrugs.

 

"I mean, Skeletons barely count, they're REALLY weak. And there's five of us, it can't be that bad."

 

"Ah, I'm afraid I won't be of much use in any fight," Ardyn says with what is clearly meant to be a sheepish smile, and Noctis rounds on his with an incredulous look on his face. "I've never been one for violence. I leave that to you." And Ardyn doesn't even blink when he meets Noct's furious, disbelieving stare, just keeps on smiling back completely unruffled.

 

What an absolute Godsdamned shameless fucking liar. How _**dare**_ he?

 

Noctis gives up the staring match first for once, lifting his hands in the air and taking a deep breath. "Alright, fine. There's _four_ of us. Regardless of how everyone _feels_ about the numbers, we need to get across that bridge, which I will _personally_ guarantee we do because at this point I will burn these ruins to the _Godsdamned ground_ if I have to if it means we can get out faster. I think everyone here save one person is capable of holding their own, so let's just _get on with it._ "

 

Resounding silence greets Noct's ramble, then Prompto lets out a puffed out breath and looks from Noctis to Ignis and Gladio with wide eyes. "Wow, I think that's the most he's spoken since we've met him," he breathes out in mock-awe, hand coming to press against his chest as though clutching at his metaphorical pearls.

 

Ignis nods and adjusts his glasses, clearing his throat before saying, "Indeed. Although I'd like to point out that this temple is made almost entirely of stone. I'm not exactly sure how you plan on burning stone to the ground."

 

"You know what? I'm just gonna fucking go," Noctis finally cuts in with a wave of his free hand, swinging his sword around in his grip and stalking forward. He doesn't bother to wait to see if the others follow after him, setting his eyes on one of the Skeletons and gripping the hilt of his Balmung a little tighter in preparation.

 

The first three Skeletons go down easily before he's spinning to narrowly ward off an attack from one of the Necromancers, and he IS admittedly relieved to see Ignis and Gladio engaged with the closest Reaper as Prompto moves in the background, carefully kiting and driving the other daemons away from the group with his bullets. A cursory glance shows that Ardyn is unsurprisingly nowhere in sight again, but Noct doesn't have much time to look for him before he's having to slide his blade away from the Necromancer to quickly dodge another oncoming blow.

 

He can feel how much heavier and slower his swings are without the aid of his magic speeding his transitions, muscle memory failing him over and over again as he expects his limbs to move faster than they're able to. The distracting hum of energy in his body has increased to the point of feeling like a swarm of hornets buzzing through his veins as the adrenaline rises, and just as he realizes that he's raising his weapon much too slowly to be able to block the oncoming swing of the second Reaper's scythe and that he's going to be struck, something bizarre happens: with a feeling like a rubber band snapping inside his body, a pulse of weak blue light illuminates the daemons in front of him in one moment, and the next he finds himself two feet further back with the Reaper slicing harmlessly through the faint blue outline of where Noct had just been standing.

 

He stumbles further back in his shock, gasping for breath as he realizes that the snap he felt was that buzzing sensation leaving his body all at once, and, arguably more importantly, _he just fucking phased._ Poorly, to be fair, and if the Reaper had been even an inch closer it probably still would have caught him with it's scythe when Noct's body rematerialized before it should have, but it had still happened.

 

He takes only a moment to glance around at the others, finding each so preoccupied that he's confident nobody noticed the flash of light and the ghostly form of his lit up outline disappearing, before he swings his sword around and focuses back on the daemons in front of him.

 

The last Necromancer goes down ten minutes later after one final hit from Ignis' daggers, all four of them drenched in sweat and panting for breath.

 

"Only... FIFTEEN... He said," Prompto gasps, bent nearly double with his hands on his knees. "Can't be... THAT BAD... He said."

 

Even Gladio looks too winded to say much, just making an odd sort of grunt of derisive agreement and leaning heavily on his greatsword.

 

Noctis wants to tell Prompto to go fuck himself, but he's too busy laying on the bridge and staring hatefully up at the water illusion above them, chest heaving and feeling very much like he might throw up from over exertion.

 

How the HELL did people fight like this all the time without phasing at will? It was _terrible_.

 

Ardyn chooses that moment to virtually materialize next to Noctis, looking down at him with his hands clasped behind his back. "Oh, did you do it? Excellent news. It looked like you might not make it there for a bit," he says with a laugh, and Noctis gets closer to telling Ardyn to go fuck himself than he did with Prompto, but it still only comes out as a choked, miserable wheeze before he gives up and resigns himself to weakly flopping onto his side.

 

He allows himself a moment to slide his eyes closed, running his hands over his ribs to see if he can incite the energy to form under his skin again, but it seems to be well and truly gone now. Something specifically about Ardyn had caused the reaction, and that would have made him more furious than any other part of the day's events if he wasn't so thoroughly exhausted from the swarm of daemons they had just fought off. Old injuries in his back are starting to ache miserably with exertion and the bruising from his earlier fall as well, the knotted scar tissue around his spine and the resulting weakened muscles twinging and jumping so painfully that it leaves him breathless.

 

Letting out a long sigh, Noctis finally forces himself to move onto his stomach and push up onto his hands and knees, ignoring the way his left leg where the damage is worst nearly gives out under the strain of supporting his own weight. He's about to start walking towards the stairs leading down to the final floor, eager to kill the beast he knows lies below and finally get somewhere with a shower and a bed, when he feels Ardyn's hand close around his wrist and pull him gently back.

 

He jolts a little as he finds Ardyn standing much too close behind him and instinctively tenses, but then the next moment hears the shattering of a potion over his head and shivers as the healing mist soaks into his body, soothing it's way through aching muscles and stinging cuts.

 

Noctis gapes.

 

"You were limping," Ardyn offers, voice casual but soft as Noct stares at him in confusion. He feels the man squeeze his wrist, the resulting rush of energy from the contact snapping through his skin to settle along his spine where the damage in his back is worst, then Ardyn is letting go of his hand and walking past Noct without another word. It almost feels... Warm? Like the soothing salves Noct sometimes applies to sore muscles after training sessions, the energy tingling and relaxing the weakened muscles of his back to ease the constant pain.

 

Noct stays frozen in place, staring at the spot Ardyn's face had just occupied and hand remaining stupidly in the air as his brain scrambles to make sense of any part of what the fuck just happened. He comes up short though, shaking his head in disbelief and slowly turning to follow after the man's retreating back, rubbing the back of his neck nervously and chewing on his lower lip.

 

Noctis had phased, and Ardyn had just voluntarily healed him. This shit was getting way, _way_ too weird.

 

Maybe the world was in some great rush to come to an even quicker end than last time.

 

\---

 

The fight with the Quetzalcoatl goes relatively smoothly once Ignis figures out that, bizarrely, the creature is weak to ice. He starts with fire, going after the wings, then moves to lighting as the beast swoops up into the sky, then only just manages to piece it together and throw off a poorly aimed ice spell before the beast nearly snatches him with those giant talons. The spell thankfully still makes contact despite the rushed cast, and after it recoils with a shriek, Ignis begins focusing every single one of his efforts on regaining enough stamina to continue vollying ice spells at it.

 

Noctis has to admit he's thoroughly impressed.

 

He does his best to stay away from the group as they fight, always moving to whichever side the others aren't on in an attempt to keep them from realizing exactly how much damage he's actually inflicting on the creature. Though his movements still feel sluggish and sloppy, he knows the power of the weapon in his hands far outpaces the other three put together, and the last thing Noct wants at this point is being questioned about the source of his strength when Gladio only just started trusting him again.

 

The beast falls several minutes later after a particularly excellent link up between Ignis' Blizzara, a well-timed shot from Prompto, one mighty swing from Gladio's greatsword, and an aerial attack on Noct's part delivered to it's back. It begins to fall with an ear-splitting shriek, Noct losing his balance and nearly tumbling off the side of it before he carefully scrambles his way down and rolls away as it hits the ground.

 

The silence nearly seems to echo louder than the roar of battle had for several long moments, before Prompto lets out a shout of triumph and runs towards Noct- who just happens to be the closest- and raises his hand in a high-five. "HELL YEAH!" He shouts as Noct weakly raises his own hand in response, Prompto's palm connecting with his so hard that Noct's arm snaps backwards and a grimace of pain immediately splits across his face.

 

" _Shiva's Ice,_ Prom," Noctis mutters as he shakes the stinging limb out, looking around the hallway to locate the others. He's about to ask where Ardyn is yet again, irritation sitting bone deep inside of him, when he spots the man up on one of the stairs where several shimmering points of light are glinting in the hazy light of the ruins.

 

"Why, there's practically a treasure trove of Mythril here! How lucky for us!" He calls out jovially, hand outstretched over a pile. "Which one shall we choose? Eeny meeny miny... _You._ " Seeming to find a good piece, Ardyn grabs it and lifts it up to catch the reflection as Noct approaches, then turns and gently tosses it over into Noct's outstretched hands.

 

He looks it over. It seems particularly bright, the metal glinting so intensely that it nearly blinds him, and he nods in satisfaction as he hands it over to Ignis. "Thanks. I mean, not for helping in the fight, you were completely useless. But you did at least seem to find a good piece of Mythril."

 

Ardyn smiles at him and adjusts the scarf around his neck, face obscured by his collar. "I happen to know a thing or two about Mythril. Easy to spot imperfections if you know what you're looking for, and I think you'll get quite the reaction out of that one."

 

And Noctis should probably examine his words a little more closely than he does, but he's exhausted and drenched in Quetzalcoatl blood, his back hurts again despite the potion from earlier and the bracing tingle along his spine, and all he can think about is finally getting to sink into a hot bath with a warm drink.

 

Or maybe an entire handle of of Leide whiskey.

 

So instead he just nods, turning around to the three others, and slowly stretches his back out before sheathing his sword and heading towards the stairs.

 

"Let's get out of here, then, I'm going to set myself on fire if I don't wash this blood off of me in the next half hour."

 

Prompto, Ignis, and Gladio all nod in relieved agreement, turning to follow him up the stairs to the upper floor.

 

He misses the way Ardyn smiles into his collar as he watches them depart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I was just absolutely HELLBENT on getting Steyliff done in one chapter, which is why this monstrosity is so. goddamn. long. (Well, around 6,900 words, which feels long to me.) I personally feel like for the most part, action based chapters actually tend to be incredibly dull to read/write (as compared to more emotional/interaction based ones,) so I kinda wanted to just finish it up and be done with it in one go, instead of splitting it into two like I probably should have.
> 
> 2\. If you've never watched John Mulaney's stand up, 'What's New Pussycat' is truly a menace to society and I want everyone to know it. Also, Coeurls were actually called 'Coeurl Cats' in FFVI, so while it sounds clumsy imo, I'm clinging to it being canon to excuse my usage of it.
> 
> 3\. I will always find a way to bullshit my way as quickly as possible through fight scenes. 
> 
> 4\. I am officially using "Shiva's Ice" as a replacement for "Jesus Christ." Just so we're all clear on what that little line of dialogue was about. (IT FUCKING RHYMES AND I'M A VERY CLEVER GIRL, OKAY. I WAS A GIFTED CHILD.)
> 
> 5\. The feedback on this fic is still terrifying, unexpected and incredible to me, and I appreciate it all so much. Thank you guys. My crops are flourishing or whatever it is the kids say nowadays. <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my "mood" music for most of this story has been Made in Heights, if anyone is interested. I actually normally just blast white noise through my headphones because I'm one of those people that hyper-focuses sounds and gets distracted easily, but Made in Heights definitely puts me in some weird head space to write and normally blends into the background easily enough that it doesn't bother me.
> 
> 'Death,' specifically, has been my ultra jam through all of this. Sometimes when I listen to it I feel like it directly relates to where Noctis/Ardyn are heading in this fic, and other times I see no relation whatsoever but I just find it compositionally pleasing.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMY2R0IaMuI
> 
> Honorable mention to Slow Burn and Forgiveness as well.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKgdcM4Tt6k  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs4-9c-01PI
> 
> Do with this information what you will, including nothing <3

Noctis is pretty sure he’s dreaming almost right away.

He has his suspicions when he suddenly comes into awareness on the side of the road, the Disc of Cauthess blazing brightly near him, though the air around him feels neither hot nor cold and the gravel under his feet seems to crunch almost musically with each step he takes. The details are simultaneously a little too crisp and yet a little too vague to be reality, and he's full of the artificial calm that comes along with suddenly finding oneself in the middle of a dream without knowing how you got there or what's going on around you.

 

He _knows_ he's dreaming the moment he hears a dog barking, that single sound piercing through the total silence so loud that his entire conscious thought seems to be overtaken by it. He takes a deep breath, the rush of air in his lungs sounding like the roar of turbulent rapids in his ears, and turns his head to see a small, cream colored Spitz running around an outcropping of rocks towards the Disc. Ordinarily he might be annoyed at this clear expectation to go running after the animal, but in the moment it feels as though it makes perfect sense, and Noctis turns obediantly to jog after it.

 

Every step he takes causes the ground under his feet to vibrate and give ever so slightly, as though he's running on lake that hasn't entirely frozen through yet and threatens to give way under the weight of a body, but Noctis doesn't pay it any mind as he tries to catch up with the barking leading him through the stones.

 

After what feels like hours, or maybe milliseconds, or maybe several lifetimes, Noct blinks and finds himself on the very edge of the impact site, staring up at the pulsing blue light of the meteorite as it stands in ominous silence, a strange buzzing suddenly filling his ears. As he stares, he finds he has to look up higher and higher, the meteorite growing in size (or maybe he's shrinking into nothing?) and the sound of electricity growing to the point that he wants to clutch his head to block it out, but his arms don't seem to work.

 

He hears another sharp bark from behind him, turning around towards the sound through air so charged with intangible energy that he feels like he's moving through thick molasses, every motion slow and laborious. His entire field of vision is immediately filled with the sight of another meteor rushing towards him from the sky, blocking out the sun with it's fire, and Noctis knows he should probably be frightened, but instead he simply closes his eyes and waits. The sound is deafening as it strikes the ground, and he can feel himself being smashed into the dirt under him from the force of it, but feels no pain from the impact at all.

 

Both the buzzing of energy and the roar of the meteor explosion suddenly cut out as quickly as they had formed, and Noctis gasps in a huge breath as he realizes that his lungs are working again and opens his eyes. He's surrounded by the walls of Luna's bedroom, though his feet are standing in a field of Sylleblossoms, and he blinks as he slowly spins to take in his surroundings. Coming full circle, his eyes fall on the small dog and a slender woman with black hair standing several yards behind him, and though the sight is unexpected, he doesn't feel surprised.

 

She takes a single step forward, turning her face towards Noctis despite her eyes remaining closed, and Pryna stands up in attention next to her.

 

"Hear me, Fallen King," Gentiana's soft, lilting voice seems to completely fill up the space, and Noctis finds himself unable to breathe again, "you have found yourself in a cruel fate. The odds of victory lie almost outside your grasp, yet still the war must be fought until completion. Failure is not an option."

 

Noctis swallows and tries to speak, but it feels as though his body has been put inside an invisible, sound proof box, his mouth moving but no voice reaching the air. Gentiana smiles and shakes her head.

 

"You are bound to the fate of another Fallen. Keep him close, but do not lose yourself with him. Your enemy is far more powerful even than the Immortal Scourge plaguing this Star, and your strength must be greater if you hope to ascend as champion." Gentiana takes several slow steps towards him, and Noctis suddenly realizes that he has to look up at her through the eyes of a child again as her lashes part and she gazes down at him with vibrant, warm hazel eyes.

 

Even in a dream they're no less striking, the vivid greens almost seeming to twist and swim with the deep browns, and Noctis feels nearly hypnotized as his head cranes back to look at her.

 

Gentiana remains silent for several long moments as she looks at him, eyes kind yet full of pity, before clasping her hands in front of her chest and bowing her head. "Rise again. The Oracle sends her blessings to the New Chosen King."

 

\---

 

And with that, Noct's eyes slowly open, immediately taking a long breath through his nose as he sits up and takes in his surroundings. The hum of nighttime insects drifts through the fabric of his tent, crickets chirping in the distance and the haunting blue glow of protective runes casting everything in a hazy light.

 

_Still at the Vesperpool..._

 

He wants to lay back down and go back to sleep, but his muscles feel jumpy with fidgety energy now, and the ache in his back from his fall earlier in the night and then laying on a thin mat has reached a point where he almost can't breathe. He hovers for a moment longer, gripping the sleeping bag under his hands, before finally shifting to sit up with a long groan, undoing the zipper to his single person tent and stepping out into the cool night air.

 

The other three have long since gone to sleep in the larger tent as far as he knows, yet he can hear a faint, rhythmic tapping emanating from the side of the campground. He stops to listen, trying to decide whether or not it warrants investigation, before curiosity finally gets the better of him and he peers down the side of the raised platform.

 

Ardyn is reclined in his car, laying diagonally with his torso slouched in the driver's seat and his arms outstretched under his head with his hat resting over his face. One of his legs is stretched across the passenger side seat, the other turning out to be the source of the noise as it rests on the dashboard, his boot tapping a quiet rhythm on the inside of the windshield. There's an air of forced relaxation to his body, but something in the movement of that foot that strikes Noct as almost seeming impatient and fidgety in it's staccato rhythm.

 

To be fair, he'd probably be impatient too if he'd been alive for-fucking-ever and didn't even get to lose consciousness for 8 hours at a time. An eternity in one's own mind must be a living hell, and for a moment he almost feels bad for him.

 

Then he remembers that Ardyn has, at one point or another, likely murdered literally every single person he's ever loved, and the feeling flits back away from him as easily as it came.

 

He grabs his boots, shoving his feet inside without bothering to lace them up, then carefully picks his way down the side of the haven towards Ardyn's car, trying to stay quiet despite every noise being amplified in the peaceful night air. He's sure Ardyn must have heard him from the moment he unzipped his tent, yet Ardyn doesn't bother to acknowledge him as he approaches regardless, hat still pushed over his face and foot tapping out that irritatingly rhythmic sound. Noct opens the passenger side door without greeting of his own, instead shoving Ardyn's leg off the seat and onto the floor boards, muscling his way in as though the other man wasn't there at all.

 

Ardyn finally sits up a little at that, pushing the brim of his hat up enough to regard Noct with what he's sure is an entirely affected expression of mild irritation. Ardyn's eyes might be pretending to glare, but Noct can see the ghost of a smirk on his mouth, and besides, the Immortal Accursed practically seems to _live_ to be near the "Chosen King," even if just to annoy the absolute shit out of him at every opportunity.

 

"My, and to what do I owe this _pleasure_ at this late hour?" Ardyn says, tone dripping with forced sarcasm, and Noct rolls his eyes before leaning back and lowering the passenger seat to a deep recline.

 

"Weird dreams. Back hurts. Can't sleep," Noctis says shortly, grasping the head rest behind him as he stares up at the stars.

 

Ardyn's leg is pressed awkwardly against his own, and the now-familiar crawl of uninvited _something_ is fluttering at the spot, but it's subtle enough for now that Noct can ignore it. Ardyn bends his knee a moment later anyway, placing his foot flat on the space between the two of them, and Noctis wonders if Ardyn can feel the weird prickle of energy too and finds it just as uncomfortable at times.

 

"It's only been a few hours since the group laid to rest, and only another to pass until sunrise. It would be a shame if one of our party was too exhausted to enjoy the journey back," Ardyn points out, and Noct snorts in response.

 

"Yeah, you're one to talk. Have you just been sitting in your ugly car all night?"

 

Ardyn lets out a fake gasp. "How rude. I'll have you know that this car is a classic, and it's quite rare to find one in such excellent condition these days."

 

Noctis doesn't miss the way he avoids answering the real question. He doesn't push, though. He already knows the answer.

 

They lapse into a surprisingly relaxed silence for a bit, Noct's eyes drifting from the stars above to the fireflies drifting through the foliage around them instead, the greenish, glowing light of their bioluminescense filling him with an odd sort of calm. There were only two things that Noctis could admit to enjoying about the Vesperpool, and those two things were the fishing, and the fireflies. He had never seen them before his travels the first time he'd gone on his journey, and he'd struggled to keep his city-kid awe in check when he'd found himself surrounded by something that seemed nearly magical in it's peaceful beauty.

 

At twenty, he had always been too concerned with looking "cool" to truly allow himself to be outwardly awed by anything. The thought makes him smirk at himself, a single exhaled laugh leaving him.

 

What a fucking idiot he had been. And still was, though for completely different reasons.

 

The smirk on his lips slowly fades as his mind wanders, biting on his lower lip thoughtfully instead as he watches one particular firefly drift close enough that he could nearly catch it in an outstretched hand if he wanted to. He blinks, then slowly rolls his head to look over at Ardyn, finding him with his eyes shut as though pretending to rest again.

 

Noct's teeth dig harder into his lip as he watches him, the sight of his face bringing every weird situation of the past day to the surface in a roiling sea of questions. Finally unable to keep it to himself anymore, he clears his throat to get Ardyn's attention and rests his knee on the car door. "Hey, why do I feel so weird every time you touch me?"

 

Ardyn's eyes slide open to regard him, and Noctis has to stop himself from pre-emptively groaning as he sees the man smirk in response, already knowing what sort of insufferable thing he's going to say before he's even opened his mouth. "Oh, now this _is_ unexpected. A love confession so suddenly? I didn't think you the type."

 

"Don't be a dick," Noctis responds eloquently, and Ardyn's smirk only widens.

 

"I'm afraid I don't know what else you might mean. 'Weird' is a rather broad description and could mean almost anything without elaboration."

 

Noctis turns his head to look out towards the darkness again with a sigh. "Nevermind, just... Forget it," he mumbles, suddenly feeling awkward.

 

There was no way Ardyn didn't know _exactly_ what he was talking about, but the nagging fear that maybe he was misreading the situation and that he might just be making Ardyn more suspicious leaves him feeling anxious and closed off.

 

Gods he wanted to know what kept making his heart race and skin feel electrified, though.

 

Another long silence stretches between them as Noct thinks he might be seeing the deep blue of the night sky slowly starting to pale from the pre-dawn sun, and he lets his eyes slip closed and his head relax fully against the headrest. His back still hurts with a vengeance and he feels a little unsettled from his dream and the meaning behind it, but the initial adrenaline has finally worn off, leaving him drowsy and floaty.

 

He doesn't think he actually falls asleep, the feeling of a cool breeze brushing against his skin feeling suspended indefinitely for a single blink, but then suddenly he's opening his eyes again to find the pink light of sunrise washing over his face. Noctis blinks slowly, the scent of something green filling his consciousness as he shifts in the seat, then startles as he becomes aware of weight moving with him, pressing down lightly on his chest and legs. He shoves at it, sitting up fully with his heart suddenly racing.

 

Ardyn's thick coat slides off of him and falls to the floorboard of the car, and Noct has to stare at it for several seconds to really believe what he's seeing. He jerks his head around to look for Ardyn next, finding him still reclined in the seat next to him with that stupid hat pulled over his face again and one ankle crossed over the other knee. The rush of adrenaline has left him feeling wide awake almost instantly, and the confusion of waking up with a coat draped over him makes him crabby as he reaches a hand out towards Ardyn.

 

"Hey," Noct says petulantly, flicking the brim of Ardyn's hat, "stop pretending to be asleep, I know you aren't. Is this when you come up with all of your stupid stories? Staring up into the void under there?"

 

Ardyn pulls it to his chest, huffing out a sigh of mock-sadness as he looks up at Noctis with a reproachful look. "Really, the youth have become so cruel in recent years. Of course I was sleeping, you need more rest as you get older, you know. Give it ten years and perhaps you'll begin to understand.

 

Noctis _snorts,_ the sound catching him off guard and leaving him feeling a little embarrassed at the ugliness of it, but honestly, he can't help it. Ardyn's comment is funny on multiple levels, none of which he's at liberty to share, and he has to let the bubble of anxiety-humor out somehow. "You really think I'll make it that far? I always saw myself dead by thirty," he can't help but say instead, though that only makes him laugh more, the inside joke shared with no one but himself, but still funny in a sort of sad, fatalistic way all the same. Unwilling sacrifice to literally save the world for a possibly insane God obsessed with balance: always a riot.

 

"You'll be dead by seventeen if you keep antagonizing grumpy old men."

 

"Wooow, age jokes, huh? How will I ever keep up with you," Noct says with an eyeroll, but Ardyn only widens his eyes in the perfect image of surprise.

 

"Oh, are you older than that? My apologies, your actions simply so resemble that of a surly teenager that I must have been mistaken. And that _eyeroll_... Truly a superb display of wit."

 

"Hey, now, okay. That's enough." Noctis glares, then grabs the coat off the floor and hauls it up. "What the fuck was this about, by the way?"

 

Ardyn shrugs. "You were shivering."

 

"Bullshit," Noct responds immediately, throwing the offending article onto Ardyn's side of the car and jumping over the passenger side door. "Stop trying to make me like and trust you, it will literally never happen. One night spent alone together in a car isn't going to change that."

 

"And truly, what a night it was," Ardyn drawls in response, and Noct is about to snap back with something sarcastic again, when he hears a throat being awkwardly cleared from somewhere behind him and he snaps his mouth shut. He spins around, looking side to side and seeing no one, then looking up towards the campground to find Ignis standing at the edge of the rock platform with one hand on his hip and a look on his face somewhere between guilt at having been eavesdropping, and intense suspicion as he stares at Ardyn.

 

"No," Noct whispers in horror once he finds his voice, brain springing back into action as he begins waving his hands in the air desperately, "no, no, no, that was NOT what it sounded like-"

 

Ardyn has followed Noct's gaze up to look at Ignis, greeting him with a tilt to his hat and a cheery wave before easily cutting off Noct's stuttering with, "he merely sought me out when he was unable to sleep last night. I must say, I must have a talent for tiring him out! He was asleep within a quarter hour."

 

"NO. STOP IT," Noct wants to punch the smirk right off of Ardyn's face, but his hands are too preoccupied attempting to rip every single one of his hairs out at the roots as Ignis' expression goes from suspicious, to looking as though he might swoop down from the campground and defend Noct's honor in a rain of hellfire himself. He swears he can see the man puffing up and tensing in indignant fury at the mere thought of Noctis being so besmirched by such a shifting, fly-by-night _vagabond-_ or whatever other bizarre, antiquated terminology Ignis was likely to use.

 

Which is a sweet thought, and Noctis supposes he appreciates it through the glaze of mortification coating his brain, but that was a long moot point anyway considering that he hadn't been a virgin since he was sixteen and shared that one awkward, fumbling experience with a sweet girl in his high school math class. He wasn't sure even HIS Ignis knew that, though.

 

... Actually, he probably did. Ignis knew everything. He could probably tell you the origin of life itself if you gave him sufficient time to ponder it without letting him get distracted by tending after someone.

 

"I... I had not meant to interrupt whatever... _This,_ " Ignis waves his hand vaguely in Ardyn's direction, and Noctis groans in agony, "is, I just wanted to let you know that breakfast is finished. But if you are both preoccupied, then..."

 

"I am _NOT_ sleeping with Ardyn-fucking-Izunia!" Noct wails at Ignis' retreating form, deflating miserably.

 

Prompto's blonde hair pops up from the edge of the campground, face contorted in confused horror. " _WHO'S_ fucking Ardyn?!" he asks, sounding so genuinely upset that Noct can't decide whether to laugh or cry.

 

"I'm going to drown myself in the reeds over there, I swear to every god alive I will," Noctis moans, refusing to look at either Prompto or Ardyn and instead finding the toes of his boots incredibly interesting from his hunched over position with his elbows on his knees and hands still ripping at his hair.

 

He hears Ardyn chuckle, and thinks it might almost sound genuine, if still incredibly mean-spirited. "The water is quite shallow this far back, I think you'll find it a rather difficult task."

 

"Where there's a will, there's a way. You might be surprised by my sheer tenacity. It's both a blessing and a curse."

 

He chances a wary glance up from between his hands to find Ardyn's head leaning against the seat and smiling very nearly like a regular human, and almost, _almost,_ for the barest of moments, Noct thinks it might even be reaching his eyes. But then it seems to be a trick of the light, his mouth taking on that same sneering, plastic quality that it always has, and the moment is gone.

 

"... Well at least you guys will have plenty to eat, because I most definitely will never be hungry again," Prompto calls out cheerily from somewhere up on the campground, having disappeared once more as though he couldn't bare to be near them for another moment.

 

Noctis groans, but finally stands to move up the side of the rock to the stove. ... He _was_ starving, and throwing himself into the Vesperpool could surely wait until after he had stuffed himself so full of food that he was guaranteed to sink like a lead weight.

 

\---

 

The drive back to Lestallum is quite uneventful in the end. Though clearly hesitant at first, the group agrees to let Ardyn join them again when he insists that he needs to head that way as well anyway, and points out that their journey will be much easier with his presence there to get them through the checkpoints.

 

Noctis doesn't even try to sit in the Regalia this time, just hefts his bag into the back of Ardyn's car with so much weight behind it that the entire frame bounces on the shock absorbers and Ardyn looks up at him in surprise. Gentiana's words, _"keep him close,"_ ring through his mind as he climbs into the passenger seat, but honestly, he also just doesn't want to deal with being told that he HAS to ride with Ardyn again for some reason. At least if he jumps straight to it, he can pretend that it was entirely voluntary, instead of the Gods coming up with some bullshit, flimsy excuse to extend their divine intervention into ensuring that he spends hours alone with his least favorite animate object.

 

It isn't even so bad, in the end. Ardyn pops open his glove box to reveal a (relative) treasure trove of old casette tapes, and Noctis spends some amount of time ooh-ing and ahh-ing over various titles that he hasn't ever heard of ("what is _THIS?_ It sounds depressing as hell, is this what people used to listen to when the economy crashed in Lucis like, eighty years ago?") (and, as a matter of fact, it was,) and the rest slouched deep in the seat and dozing in between checkpoints. There's a sort of thrill that comes with letting his head loll to the side against the back of the seat, throat exposed towards Ardyn and knowing that he couldn't strike even if he knew who Noctis was and wanted to. Like a cat smugly exposing it's belly to a well-trained dog who knows they aren't supposed to touch.

 

... Well, Ardyn could realistically do whatever he damn pleased, but he most likely WOULDN'T, and that was still satisfying in some way.

 

He doesn't totally rouse himself until he feels Ardyn slowing to pull into parking spot, groaning miserably as the breeze stops blowing through his hair and he starts to truly feel the heat of Lestallum beating against his skin. _"It's a dry heat, though,"_ everyone always tried to insist, as though that somehow made some sort of difference when it was so miserably scorching that sweat started blossoming on his skin within minutes of being out in the open air. Dry heat or no, he'd always prefer the relative temperate seasons of Insomnia over whatever hellscape the people of Lestallum had accustomed themselves to.

 

He's on just managed to peel himself off of his seat and wearily stumble his way over to where Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto are standing together near the stairs, Ardyn a few paces away staring off across the overlook, when a small, panicked voice suddenly cuts through the air.

 

"Lord Gladiolus?!"

 

Noctis looks up in surprise to see Talcott standing at the bottom of the stairs to the parking lot with his fists clenched and head bowed, skin looking painfully sunburnt as though he'd been sitting there for hours. Gladio immediately stops what he's been saying mid-sentence, brow furrowing in concern as he takes hurried strides over to him and crouches down onto one knee, and Noct shakes his head in disbelief as a rush of ice cold dread rushes over him at Talcott's devastated expression.

 

_No, the timing was all wrong. Jared should still be safe, they were so far ahead of schedule..._

 

"Talcott, what are you doing out here? What's wrong?" Gladio's lowered his voice to try to calm the shaking boy down, but Talcott seems too overcome to speak, a high pitched whine escaping him before morphing into a desperate sob.

 

Noct's own breath starts to come short in his chest, and he can see Ardyn watching him closely out of the corner of his eye, but all he can really pay attention to is Talcott's broken, anguished face as he tries to pull in air around shuddering sobs.

 

"Whoa, buddy, hey," Prompto tries next, putting his hand on his shoulder and leaning down. "It's okay! Try to tell us what's going on."

 

"I tried to tell her not to, I'm sorry," Talcott chokes out, voice high in between whimpering gasps. He can't seem to get any further for a moment, wiping at his face with his arms as tears stream down his face, before wailing, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's all my fault."

 

"Talcott, what are you talking about?" Gladio sounds truly worried now, hands bracing Talcott on his sides and staring up at his face earnestly from where he's crouched in front of him. "Take a breath. What's your fault?"

 

Talcott sobs again, shaking his head and hands still wiping at his face. "Soldiers came to the hotel and attacked grandpa, and Lady Iris tried to stop them, but she-" he cuts off for another heaving breath, and Noct watches as the color drains from Gladio's face.

 

"What? What happened to Iris?" Gladio's voice is hoarse, hands tightening ever-so-slightly on Talcott's sides.

 

" _Hospital,_ " is all Talcott can choke out before dissolving completely into tears again, and Gladio immediately lets go of him to take off at a sprint up the stairs, not sparing a single glance to the others as he disappears across the road.

 

Noct sways as he feels a rush of vertigo, jerking his head to stare at Ardyn in dizzy disbelief.

 

Ardyn is staring back at him from under his hat, face blank and hands in his pockets.

 

 _It was him._ It had to be him. There was no other reason for the events to be playing out the way they were, they were WEEKS ahead of schedule. Jared should have been safe and all three of them should have been able to make the journey to Cape Caem _together_ this time, some small kindness in a life for Iris and Talcott that Noct knew was going to be a living hell in the end, and Ardyn had _taken that away._

 

He intends to grab the man by his fucking neck and squeeze him until he stops breathing, maybe shake him until his spine breaks in his hands and then _keep squeezing_ until there's nothing but blood and splinters, but instead he finds himself taking off after Gladio himself, feet leading him towards the hospital on autopilot.

 

Every single thing was going all wrong. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. So I basically ended up rewriting the entire goddamn chapter, which was heartbreaking, but much better in the end I think. The first version went almost immediately to angsty and I just... Hated it. So I basically spent half of today miserable and trying to edit a chapter that I hated into something passable, and then the other half just finally giving in and rewriting it. Which was interesting because the BF was also watching WWE in the background.
> 
> Attempting to write anything while Paul Heyman is doing his "BRRRROOOOOOOCK LESNARRRRRRRR" routine is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life.
> 
> 2\. Gentiana is the final boss of FF waifus as far as I'm concerned. Dem eyes tho <3 I'm pretty neutral on Shiva's design in FFXV, but Gentiana makes up for it and then some.
> 
> 3\. I've had a couple people ask about social media accounts, so if you're interested, I have both Twitter and a Tumblr that can be found at @JupiterRadical. The Tumblr I check daily but really only use to answer messages, and the Twitter I'm more active on, but probably won't post any fic info because I'm shy. It's more my personal one. I did make a writing one, @666ofOne (edgy) so if you just want fic related stuff, that's the place. <3
> 
> 4\. Y'all are lovely humans and I will never get over the number of thoughtful, beautiful comments that have been left so far. I can't thank you enough. <3 <3


	14. Chapter 14

Gladio hasn't moved in what feels like hours now, and Noct is starting to wonder if leaving him to his own thoughts in the hospital room is really for the best, or if they should at least be trying to get him somewhere away from the quiet beeping of all those monitors attached to Iris' unconscious form.

 

The attack had evidently happened the day before, but with such an overwhelming number of Lucian refugees, and no information as to the identity of either Talcott or Iris, no one had known who to contact. Leaving them both as nameless Lucian citizens had seemed like the safest option when Jared had been there to make sure they were safe, but without him, they were just two more of too many to keep track of, falling through the cracks almost immediately. One more orphaned boy and injured girl crowding to the relative safety of Lestallum.

 

A doctor had pulled the four of them aside and given them a rundown of the situation as soon as it was sorted out that Gladio was next-of-kin to the mystery girl, explaining that she had suffered a huge cut across her abdomen and multiple stab wounds that had caused a nearly fatal amount of blood loss, but miraculously all were shallow enough that they missed her vital organs, narrowly sparing her life in the end once they managed to pull her out of hemorrhagic shock and tended to the wounds in surgery that elixirs couldn't mend alone. The true problem was that despite all the blood transfusions and stitches, her body was refusing to begin mending itself on it's own. Her body wasn't producing new blood, and none of her cells seemed to be dying or replicating themselves at all anymore, leaving her in a strange sort of stasis.

 

She technically wasn't getting worse, but she wasn't exactly getting better, either. 

 

"It's like she's been poisoned with something," the doctor had said, shaking her head. "We've tried everything, tested her for everything we could think of, but nothing's come up yet. But rest assured we're doing everything in our power to save her life."

 

 _"We're doing everything in our power to save her life,"_ only sounded worse when even the doctors didn't know what was wrong or what to do.

 

Noctis glances across the waiting room to where Talcott is spread across two chairs with his head in Prompto's lap, having finally passed out from exhaustion an hour or so before. Calming him down enough to do anything other than cry and apologize had been no small feat, with Prompto ignoring his own anxiety to instead patiently soothe him, urging him to lay down and stroking gentle fingers endlessly through his hair. It had taken several hours of speaking quietly to keep his mind at least partially occupied off of everything, but Talcott had finally tired himself out partially draped over the blonde's lap, arms wrapped snugly around his knee as though he was afraid that Prompto might suddenly disappear and leave him all alone again too.

 

Prompto looks exhausted himself at this point, dark circles under his eyes as he pretends to read something on his phone, but his eyes haven't moved in minutes and Noct is pretty sure the screen locked itself from inactivity some time ago.

 

He can occasionally see Ignis through the sliding glass doors of the entrance, phone pressed to his ear as he paces within sight one moment, then turns and disappears behind the corner the next, repeating the motion over-and-over again until Noct is dizzy just watching him. Of course his first thought had been to call Cor, and then to locate Dustin and Monica, though Noct isn't entirely sure what he thinks that's going to accomplish _now_. They should have been there to begin with.

 

What had they been thinking leaving two kids alone with an elderly man with no combat skills to speak of?

 

... What had he been thinking, more specifically? He knew from the start that there was a target on Jared's back, and he still hadn't done a single thing to prevent it.

 

Noctis immediately slumps forward at the thought of that, elbows on his knees, and presses his face into his hands as he tries to pull in a few deep breaths into lungs that feel frozen in his chest.

 

It was his fault Jared had been killed a second time. Not Cor's, or Dustin's, or Monica's, and certainly not Talcott's, although the kid would probably carry the weight of that trauma his entire life and find a way to blame himself for it. _He_ had been the one who had known the very real danger lurking just around the corner and still done absolutely nothing because he'd "assumed" that everyone would be safe until he could get them to Caem, and now Jared was dead and he had very possibly gotten Iris killed this time around too.

 

He'd failed. Again. 

 

Noct wearily drags his face from his hands as he hears the glass doors slide open with a rattling squeak, expecting to see Ignis stepping through, and instead freezes as he catches sight of a wall of clashing fabrics topped by a head of dark red hair taking several long strides in and then stopping in the doorway. Ardyn looks around briefly before settling on Noct, face and stance completely impassive as though he hadn't been the direct cause of every moment of agony for the last several hours, and Noct is immediately filled with so much fury at the sight of it that he swears his vision is actually going hazy at the edges.

 

"You fucking _bastard,_ " and he doesn't mean to start yelling, but suddenly his voice is raising louder and louder with each word as he stands, body tensing. He mindlessly grabs one of the chairs next to him, hurling it as hard as he can against the wall as Prompto shouts in surprise and he hears Talcott cry out, but he isn't listening, already stalking towards Ardyn with his fists raised.

 

Hand-to-hand combat has never been and will never be his forte, but who needs skill when you're fueled with mind-rotting rage? He's going to tear Ardyn's fucking jaw off before he can start with his lies again, then keep punching until his fists punch straight through to the cement under them and all the way down to the core of the very planet itself. Watch Ardyn try to regenerate after that.

 

He almost makes it all the way there, too, one hand reaching to grab Ardyn by the coat and the other lifting to swing, when he feels arms grab him around the waist and start to drag him forcefully away. Being denied his reprisal only infuriates him more, his entire body twisting violently in response, and vaguely he recognizes that the person holding him back is Prompto and he should probably watch his elbows, but Prompto's _keeping him from that monster,_ and he didn't understand, Noct had to kill him before he could hurt anyone else. If Prompto had to take an elbow in the face to understand that, well, Noct could apologize later.

 

" _You just couldn't fucking wait, could you?!_ " Noct is shouting, entire body surging and heaving as he reaches towards Ardyn, but then Ignis is rushing through the door and grabbing for him too, pinning his arms down against his sides as they both start dragging him backwards. "It's not enough for you to break me down, you had to bring Gladio and Iris into this too?!"

 

"Luke, calm down!" Ignis is saying, but Noct shouts in frustration and shakes his head back and forth to block the words out.

 

Ardyn's expression STILL hasn't changed, that infuriating half smirk still on his mouth as he silently watches Noct literally getting dragged kicking and screaming back towards the exit, and the placidity of his expression seems to make Noctis feel impossibly angrier.

 

He surges forward again and very nearly breaks free, but then he's being yanked back twice as hard and has to stumble to stay on his feet. "I'm going to take _everything from you,_ any hope you had of ever finding peace," he snarls, barely recognizing his own voice as it claws its way out of his throat, "I'm going to make you suffer until the star itself burns out to nothing and the only thing left is _dust,_ I'm going to burn you to the _fucking ground_ even if I have to set myself on fire and hold you down myself!"

 

He's giving himself away, he knows he is, his word choice too specific and too peculiar to an outsider, but he doesn't care. _Fuck Ardyn_ and _fuck this stupid game_ they've been forced to play.

 

Noct is finally being pulled through the sliding glass doors at this point, and the last thing he sees in Ardyn quietly shaking his head and turning to say something to one of security guards who had rushed to the scene, then the doors are sliding shut and the reflection of the glass shields them from view.

 

Ignis and Prompto don't let him go until they're clear across the other side of the road, Prompto cautiously letting go first, then Ignis fisting a hand in Noct's shirt and practically flinging him to the ground. The action is so unexpected that it actually drags Noctis partially out of his haze of rage as the wind is knocked out of him, looking up at Ignis in shock and finding him practically baring his teeth in his own anger.

 

" _What the fuck_ is wrong with you?!" Ignis shouts, looking and sounding so much younger in his fury, and Noctis gapes at him from the sheer shock of having heard him swear. A moment later he seems to begin composing himself, taking a deep breath as he stands up straight and moves a hand to adjust his glasses and sweep his hair into place. He closes his eyes, taking several more heavy breaths, before turning to Prompto and saying in a voice that's so calm that it's almost more frightening, "Prompto, please go check on Talcott. He's been frightened enough in the last twenty four hours as it is. And as for you," Noct flinches as furious green eyes stare at him out of a face of manufactured calm, but doesn't look away even as he catches Prompto making a hasty retreat in his peripheral, "you need to calm down or I will have you taken to the police station myself, do you understand? You have no idea what your stunt in there could have cost us if you had actually injured the Chancellor of Niflheim."

 

Noct's mouth gapes open again from where he had only just managed to shut it. "You... You knew?" He asks breathlessly, all the steam rushing out of him in his confusion.

 

Ignis snorts derisively in a completely uncharacteristic way. "Of course I knew. Exactly how many men fitting his description with the last name of 'Izunia' do you think exist in this world? I didn't say anything because our hands were tied and I didn't want to cause alarm when he seemed to be aiding us, though I must say, he hasn't exactly been subtle about his identity anyway. Honestly I've been utterly shocked by his boldness." He pauses for a moment, then fixes Noct with a gaze so intense that he feels his pulse start racing. "The important question is, did _you_ know?" And for the first time since he's met this New Ignis, Noct finds the man's face completely completely overwritten with blatant mistrust and anger, and the expression leaves him feeling like he's been punched in the heart.

 

"N-No, I-..." He can't come up with an excuse fast enough, feeling as though the flimsy web of lies he's been building up as a safety net is suddenly tangling around him in a knot and dragging him down.

 

Ignis just stares at him coldly for several long moments as Noctis desperately tries to find the correct lie to tell and the breath to say it with, then finally clicks his tongue and looks away. He almost looks disgusted. "It doesn't matter for now. You _will_ be honest with me if you expect to continue traveling with us, but right now we need to focus on Gladio and Iris. If you act out of line, I will call security and you will spend the night in jail. Do you understand me?"

 

Noctis immediately nods jerkily in lieu of a response, voice still locked deep in his chest and breathing so frantically that his hands are starting to tingle and his vision is distorting. He can hazily see Ignis begin to turn back towards the hospital, then he abruptly pauses, taking another deep breath and heaving it out in an extended sigh before looking back to where Noct is still crumpled on the ground. There's a long moment where he seems to be considering something, then he's turning back completely and extending his hand down in a silent offer to help Noct to his feet, face still hard but gaze just slightly softening at the edges.

 

Noct understands what the small gesture really means, and though his own hand is trembling violently as he lifts it, he clasps hands with Ignis all the same and allows himself to be pulled up in some fragile act of temporary peace.

 

And at least he has several hours now to come up with a convincing lie to tell a person who he's always been completely truthful with in the past, and if the relief he feels at that makes him feel one step closer towards becoming exactly like the vessel of dishonesty that Ardyn represents, he locks it down before it has time to consume him.

 

\---

 

Hours more have passed, and Noctis is starting to feel as though his very skin is too tight, overwhelmed with the urge to rip his way out of it in his anxiety.

 

Ignis had worked his negotiating magic at the front desk by the time Noct had calmed down enough to enter, and while a few pointed looks were thrown away, he was allowed to take a seat in the waiting room again. He'd chosen the furthest one possible after catching Prompto watching him cautiously and Talcott staring at him with wide, frightened eyes, the memory that none of these people were the ones he grew up with leaving him exhausted and closed off again.

 

The facade of friendliness had been nice while it lasted, but in the end it had been just that: a facade. He would never be King, or even Prince Noctis, justified in his actions and protecting his people, again. As far as they knew, he was just a slightly unhinged stranger that might snap at any moment.

 

Noct can hear Ignis speaking to someone on the phone again right around the corner, seeming to be unable to sit still for more than a half hour at a time before feeling so antsy that he has to occupy his time doing _something,_ and while the constant up-and-down is only making Noct's anxiety worse, he can't really blame him either. Sitting silently in a chair with his own circling thoughts of overwhelming guilt and loneliness is nearly driving him to absolute hysterics.

 

He stays quiet, though, teeth locked painfully tight around his lower lip to relieve some of the tension itching through his blood.

 

He promised he'd stay calm.

 

Noct's teeth are beginning to press into his lip so hard that he vaguely wonders just how much pressure it would take to bite through a lip, and almost feverishly reflects on how odd it is that zombie movies always make it look so easy to bite through flesh when it REALLY actually takes quite a bit of effort evidently, when Ignis' side of the conversation abruptly comes to an end and then the man is moving back into the waiting room with a loud sigh. Noctis jumps at the unexpected noise, looking up to find him sliding his phone back into his pocket and striding towards Prompto without sparing Noct a single glance.

 

"I just got off the phone with Cindy. It would seem that our piece of Mithril needs to be processed before it can be used, and I don't know about you, but I'm not sure I can bare to sit here uselessly for another moment."

 

" _Yes,_ " Prompto agrees in a breathless rush, moving to stand up, but then Talcott's arms are darting out to grip in his shirt and drag him back down with his wide brown eyes suddenly frantic.

 

"Please don't go Mister Argentum," Noct can barely hear him say in a small voice, though he can see how frightened Talcott looks even from across the room. " _Please._ "

 

Prompto looks genuinely torn at that, staying half-standing as he seems to struggle between his options, then he finally sinks back into the seat and smoothes his hand soothingly over Talcott's back. "Okay, hey, it's cool. I'll stay if you want, don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."

 

Talcott immediately hides his face miserably against Prompto's arm, looking frustrated with his own fear yet simultaneously overwhelmed by _everything,_ and Prompto looks up at Ignis helplessly, shaking his head.

 

"I... I could go with you," Noct finally says quietly, hand moving to the back of his neck in that nervous tic of his. Ignis and Prompto both look to him wordlessly, and Noct ducks his head slightly to shield his face with his hair. "I promise I won't freak out, I just... I don't want to sit here any more, I'm going completely crazy and I can't stand it."

 

Ignis hesitates. "It will be dangerous. The Mithril needs to be processed at the power plant, and from the sounds of it, the generators are currently wildly unstable due to a daemon infestation. We will need to destroy the daemons before the Mithril can be dealt with, and there's no knowing how many of them there are until we're inside."

 

"Sounds good to me," Noct says firmly, flexing his hand anxiously. Fighting daemons sounded better than good at this point, actually. He'd happily take on an entire country's worth if it would keep him occupied away from his constant thoughts. And, he supposes grimly, he _is_ taking on an entire country's worth, in a way... But framing it that way makes the whole thing entirely too personal and depressing, and he pushes it from his mind again like the M.E. 756 Lucis Compartmentalizing Champion that he is.

 

Ignis reluctantly nods in ascent. "Very well... I suppose I'll head out now. I'll get your weapon out of the Regalia and meet with you at the power plant. You'll be alright here, Prompto?"

 

Noct hears Prompto do his best to laugh and say something along the lines of, "not much of a choice in the matter," but he barely hears him as he's already standing and walking down the hallway towards Iris' room, wanting to check in one last time.

 

It's in the hallway front of her door that he finally finds Ardyn, the man leaning a hip casually against the wall as he silently stares through the observation window. The sight makes Noct stop mid-step, chest tightening and hand half moving towards where his sword is normally strapped on instinct, but then he forces himself to relax again as Ardyn slowly turns his head to look at him.

 

_He promised he'd stay calm._

 

Instead Noct moves over to him wearily, every step taking so much effort that he feels as though he's pulling himself through quicksand, only without the promise of eventually being sucked to the bottom and finally having the ground swallow him up once and for all. Not trusting himself to meet Ardyn's piercing gaze just yet, he instead looks through the window himself, finding Gladio hunched over Iris' form seemingly unconscious, likely so exhausted from worry that he fell asleep unintentionally.

 

Iris looks so, so _small_ like this, especially compared to the hulking form of her older brother. Even His Gladio had spent every spare moment he'd had, few though those were, on Iris' training, and had taken any opportunity to tell anyone who would listen about it. _"I can barely keep up with her already, and she's only fifteen! FIFTEEN!"_ Had been proudly uttered on much more than one occasion, Gladio's face practically splitting at the seams with how wide he always grinned at the thought. Fierce and fearless, she'd kept up with them easily for the brief time she traveled with them, even having dragged Noctis out of a dangerous situation or two when he bit off more than he could chew. All impish grins and bright eyes, the absolute terror of her father's life.

 

The sight of both of them looking so completely broken now nearly chokes him.

 

Noct leans his head against the frame of the window, clearing his throat as he tries to sort through his own thoughts spiraling in his head enough to vocalize them clearly. "I'm leaving for a bit. And I guess I probably shouldn't ask the Devil for anything without expecting to pay the price, but I'll pay it, whatever it is: _please_ don't hurt Iris while I'm gone." He keeps his voice quiet, still not looking at Ardyn, but his hand is slowly tensing at his side as he keeps his gaze on the hospital bed. "I'll give you anything within my power, just leave her alone."

 

"'Anything within your power'? You really must study up on your history books. Nothing good ever came of such an empty promise," Ardyn says in that tone so close to obvious mockery, and Noctis bites hard on the inside of his cheek, "but luckily for you, I haven't any idea what you're talking about anyway. I had nothing to do with that man being killed or your friend's sister being injured in the process." And just like that, the forced air of calm leaves Noct all at once, anger surging up in its place all over again as he spins furiously towards Ardyn. 

 

"Stop _fucking lying to me-_ "

 

"I'm not lying to you," Ardyn still looks and sounds calm, but he's staring at Noctis so intensely that it feels like his soul is being pierced open even through his rage, "truly, I don't know why you think I played some part in this, but believe me when I say that I have no desire to be the cause of violence on bystanders. So calm your righteous fury, it's entirely misdirected. And I would lower your voice if I were you, you don't want a repeat of earlier, hmm?"

 

Noct is so angry and yet simultaneously devastated that he feels very nearly like he might cry, and he rips his gaze away again with an exhaled breath he didn't realize that he was holding when he realizes that tears are actually starting to well up in his eyes.

 

He would never, _ever_ give Ardyn the satisfaction of seeing him cry.

 

He takes several steadying breaths instead, in and out, just like Ignis had taught him as a child, until he can finally swallow down the burn in his throat and his breathing is harsh, but even. The silence stretches between them, Noct's heartbeat sounding deafening in his own ears and his entire body shaking, but a sort of resigned, artificial calm spreading through his chest.

 

"I don't care what else you do," Noct finally begins quietly once more, hating how hoarse and shaky his voice is, but taking another deep breath and continuing on regardless, "you can say anything, _do anything_ to me. I'm used to it, I'll take it all. But don't lie to me about this. Don't touch Iris. If there is a shred of humanity left in that blackened pit you call a heart, _please_ don't do this. Not to Iris, she hasn't done anything to deserve it."

 

Ardyn sighs in a mock put-upon way, raising his gaze to the heavens like a parent growing impatient after indulging a spoiled, demanding child for too long. "Ugly words for such a pretty face. Really, these delusions of yours are beginning to get entirely-"

 

Ardyn trails off as Noctis grabs his arm and drags him forward, meeting his gaze again with unblinking eyes. Pleading. Weak, most likely, but Noct's desperation is leaving him vulnerable, and that's unfortunately outside of his control. "Ardyn. _Please,_ " he says barely above a whisper, fingers unconsciously tightening around the other man's forearm. "Promise me, for whatever the word of a liar is worth."

 

Ardyn stares back, neutral mask slipping ever so slightly as his brows furrow, but whether it's truly due to confusion, or frustration, or something else, Noct isn't entirely sure.

 

Finally, after a very long pause, Ardyn gives the barest nod. "If it will make you feel better... I swear it."

 

A shuddering breath leaves Noct all at once as he nearly crumples in some form of relief, hand loosening on Ardyn's forearm but remaining gently pressed against him still. He feels nearly lightheaded again as the familiar rush of energy starts to crawl up his arm from the contact, but he pushes it aside and lifts his other hand up to touch Ardyn's elbow weakly in the smallest amiable motion he can think to offer.

 

"Thanks," he finally says on an exhale, releasing Ardyn's arm and standing up straight. "And if you break your word, I'm going to personally ensure that you suffer in any way that you're still capable of feeling."

 

"Oh, I doubt that very much," Ardyn says back quietly, and though the words exchanged are threatening, both of their tones remain as even as though they were talking about the weather.

 

"Never say never," is all Noct can bring himself to say before he's turning and heading back down the hallway, and it's not until he's around the corner and safely out of sight of both curious nurses and murderous daemons that he allows himself a moment to squat to the floor, face pillowed in his arms and heart racing.

 

\---

 

The hazmat suits are enormously cumbersome and shockingly heavy, the reflective orange visor distorting the world into a peculiar fish-eye and muffled noises making Noctis feel as though he's underwater. He remembers having been mortified at how dumb the outfit had looked the first time he'd ventured inside to take care of the power plant, but this time around Noctis honestly couldn't care less, his complaints entirely practicality based, not aesthetically. 

 

Amazing what losing everything and likely being brutally killed (if his increasingly heavy-handed dreams were to be believed) could do for one's attitude about something as frivolous as appearances. At this point he'd fight the Immortal Accursed by himself in nothing but a pair of heels and a "Kiss the Cook" apron if someone could guarantee that it would assure Ardyn's destruction. He didn't give one single shit.

 

 _"Are we ready?"_ Ignis' voice comes in through his headpiece, and Noct turns towards where the other man is standing in a matching suit and gives a stiff thumbs up around the thick gloves.

 

"Ready," Noct confirms, turning to begin walking awkwardly down the bridge, feeling oddly like they're in the process of exploring an alien planet in a space suit instead of just heading to a power plant to kill a few daemons.

 

There's a crackle in his ear for a second before Holly's staticky voice comes on. _"Testing, do you read me? Just wanted to thank you for offering to clear out those daemons. That'll give me time to treat this Mithril for you."_

 

"Not much of a choice, is there?" Noct asks wearily, and he hears her laugh in response.

 

_"No, I guess not, but thanks all the same. Be careful, the place is crawling with 'em, but it should be fine with two of you. But heads up, we've been getting extremely unstable readings from the generators inside; too much power and the whole place could blow, so be quick!"_

 

"Greeeaaat," Noct drawls, hand tightening on the hilt of his sword.

 

 _"Understood,"_ Ignis says, much more professionally, and gestures for Noct to stop as the both take a look inside the plant.

 

Holly wasn't kidding when she said the place was crawling with daemons, apparently. Noct's jaw actually drops a little as he looks up at a large group of Imps scuttling along a series of pipes like a mischief of rats, then to all the Garchimacera crowding the catwalks, the sheer number of them leaving him completely shocked. He swears there are even more than the last time he'd had to do this with Gladio, and while all of them appear fairly weak, the job is going to be exceedingly time consuming in a situation where they don't have a lot of time to spare to begin with.

 

"Well... No time like the present," Noct finally says, stepping through the entrance and increasing in speed until he's within range to launch himself at a nearby Goblin that seems intent on grabbing him with tiny, vicious hands. The little bastard explodes on impact in a puff of putrid black haze, and Noctis moves onto one of the Garchimacera next, deflecting a swipe of claws and then cutting it down as easily as the Goblin before it.

 

The next several minutes pass in relative silence, both Ignis and Noct taking one side of the power plant each and slowly working their way around the circular path of catwalks, before Holly's voice crackles to life on the mic once more.

 

_"Red alert, you two! We're detecting a major power surge. She's gonna blow! Abort the mission and get out of there!"_

 

Noctis doesn't mean to, but he hears himself growl in frustration as he swings at another Garchimacera dancing just out of reach, blinking sweat out of his eyes that he can't wipe away with his hand. _Stupid fucking suit._ "No, we need to get that Mithril treated. I got this, just hold on."

 

He can see the light in the plant getting ever so slightly brighter and beginning to pulse, but he's too focused on the daemons in front of him to really care, swinging his sword through a charging Hobgoblin and spinning to knock an Imp off of the back of his leg. Yet for every daemon he cuts down, another seems to replace it almost instantly, as though more are appearing virtually out of nowhere in an eternally endless cycle he can't make any headway in no matter how quickly he moves.

 

A cry suddenly comes through his headpiece, and Noctis jerks around in a panic to find the source of it, eyes landing on Ignis struggling on the other side of the catwalk. His heart drops into his stomach as he realizes that the other man is covered in a swarm of Imps, their razer sharp claws trying to tear through the protective mesh of his hazmat suit to leave him exposed to the radiation of the generator and cook him alive.

 

If they weren't in the middle of being attacked by a veritable army of daemons, Noctis might have stopped long enough to be impressed by how unexpectedly (and disturbingly) intelligent that was, but instead he turns and runs as fast as he can towards Ignis, grabbing two Imps in each hand once he's within reach and flinging them off the catwalk into the toxic glow of the generator. The last one he grabs and throws onto the grate of the catwalk, lifting his leg high and then smashing it under his foot as hard as he can. It lets out a shrill shriek as it crunches in a grossly boneless fashion, feeling more like a crumpling exoskeleton of a giant cockroach than Noct was expecting, and then fades into a surging cloud of black miasma.

 

Ignis barely has time to mutter a quick, "thank you," and accept Noct's outstretched hand, when a crackle comes through their helmets again.

 

_"Uhh, guys? I'm serious, you need to get out of there, NOW. The generator is going to overload any minute!"_

 

Noct groans in frustration, spinning in place and taking in the sight of the daemons still swarming up the sides of the reactor. There's nothing he can do, there's just too many of them, but he's so fucking _sick_ of being helpless to do anything all the time, and he has some last desperate hope that if he can just take out a few more in time, maybe the power levels will drop back down enough that they can keep pushing for a little longer.

 

Just as he's about to finally give in and turn back towards the entrance in defeat, the daemons all seem to freeze at once, a strange hissing, clicking noise filling the air. The noise, individually quiet but echoing deafeningly when combined together, sets Noct's teeth on edge and sends goosebumps shivering over every inch of his skin, a strange sort of sickening dread instinctively crawling through his body as his subconscious brain tells him to flee. Then just as quickly as they started, the daemons all stop and let out a simultaneous ear splitting shriek, disintegrating into that black miasma and retreating quickly through every crack in the building within seconds.

 

Like they were... Running from something? Being called off?

 

He keeps staring in shock, trying to make sense of what just happened, then turns his head to look at Ignis through his visor. Though he can't see the man's face, he hasn't moved an inch, helmet tipped up as Ignis seems to stare up towards where the majority of the demons escaped from.

 

The power plant is dead silent apart from the hum of the generator, until Holly's voice crackles back to life in Noct's ear. _"I... I can't believe what I'm seeing, but... The levels just plummeted back down again. I don't know what you two did, but the power output is back to where it should be. I'd still like you to come back as quickly as possible though, I'm not understanding these readings and I'd rather be safe than sorry. And your Mithril is finished processing now anyway."_

 

 _"Yes... Right away."_ Ignis says, still frozen in place seeming to barely be able to tear himself away from where he's been staring up towards the generator. He finally steps backwards and motions for Noct to follow him a moment later, and Noct wants to stay and take a look around, but he turns eventually and obediently follows after Ignis' retreating form.

 

Noctis still has so many questions about what the actual fuck just happened, but they have Mythril to collect and a patient to check on, so he allows himself to be hurried down the bridge and the hazmat suit to be stripped off of him by a relieved Holly a few minutes later. Daemons, for now, can wait.

 

\---

 

"Holy shit, good timing!" Prompto says, sounding relieved as both Noctis and Ignis walk stiffly through the sliding doors of the hospital again, soaked in sweat from the hazmat suits and aching from exertion. At least, Noctis is aching, the sensation leaving him crabby.

 

"Good timing? For what?" Noct asks in a groan, running his hands through hair drying stiff with sweat for what feels like the hundredth time. It's absolutely disgusting to the touch, and the sensation of it resting on his forehead is starting to make his skin itch.

 

"The doctor just came by, they said Iris woke up!"

 

"What?! How?" Ignis suddenly lurches to attention, eyes going from exhausted to wide awake in a split second.

 

Prompto shakes his head with a shaky, but endlessly bright grin. "They have no idea, even the doctor said it was completely miraculous and she's never seen anything like it. Iris just went from unconscious one moment, to awake and talking the next! Talcott and I were just heading to see her, I can't believe you guys happened to get back now."

 

The four of them don't exactly run down the hallway to get to Iris' room, but as close as can be done without being scolded by any hospital staff, Prompto practically carrying Talcott in his arms in his haste to see her alive and well. Noct lets Prompto and Ignis head into the room first, hanging back to look through the window instead, feeling so overwhelmed with emotion that he doesn't want to give himself away to the others.

 

He once again feels like he might burst into tears, and while crying might be a perfectly normal reaction from Gladio, Prompto, or even Ignis (who has absolutely lifted his glasses up and has his fingers pinched suspiciously tight over the bridge of his nose and his eyes,) it would probably seem a little creepy from a stranger who had supposedly only met her once.

 

Ardyn is still standing at the edge of the window as well, head leaning casually against the wall with his hands in his pockets, silently watching the scene unfolding before him with a small smirk on his face. Noct can barely hear the doctor explaining Iris' miraculous recovery to Ignis and Prompto from inside the room, tilting his head and listening hard as he hears the woman saying, "yes, it was quite incredible. Whatever was suppressing her system seems to have vanished without a trace. We're still looking into it, but we honestly have no explanation for it at this time."

 

Noct stops listening at that point, whipping his head around to stare wide-eyed and suspicious at Ardyn- an expression that he seems to be doing with increasing frequency at this point- and opens his mouth uselessly as he tries to figure out what to say. Ardyn says nothing himself, simply lowers his gaze before glancing to meet Noct's eyes for the briefest moment as his smirk widens, then back through the glass to where Gladio is practically vibrating in his seat from the effort of not wrapping Iris up in a relieved, if likely brutal, hug.

 

There's a thousand things Noct _wants_ to say. _"You son of a bitch,"_ maybe, or, _"I know it was you, fuckface,"_ or, perhaps, and least likely, _"thank you,"_ with an accompanying flood of tears, but he can't work out how to make his frozen vocal chords work. Instead he just huffs out a shocked laugh, feeling a momentary release of the tension in his body as he lets relief flood through him, then turns to go offer Iris his congratulations on her recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I know nothing about medicine or human bodies, so if the hospital parts just sound like Vaguely Medical word salad, that's exactly what they are.
> 
> 2\. A large group of rats is actually called a mischief. I genuinely didn't know that before comparing Imps to rats. What a fucking cute as heck group name.
> 
> 3\. Nobody get too excited, Ardyn is still a Grade A asshole. Trust.
> 
> 4\. Writing the emotional instability of a character with depression and anxiety without making it seem completely random is one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life.
> 
> 5\. Believe it or not, I actually removed a truly horrifying amount of italics from this already, and we're still left with _italics_ all over the place. I'm evidently a very passionate person and need to express that through my heavy handed use of stressed words?


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK AT THIS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF ART FOR THE LAST CHAPTER THAT I ABSOLUTELY DON'T DESERVE: [IT'S SO PERFECT](https://weirdfans.tumblr.com/post/177470935773/doodle-for-jupiterradicals-fanfic)
> 
> Thank you so much to roundnround/weirdfans, I will treasure it and you forever. <3

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make everything worse for everyone."

 

Iris is leaning back against the hospital bed to avoid putting pressure on the newly healed section of scar tissue, posture stiff from bandages and stitches, and eyes downcast as she frets with the edge of the hospital sheets. Though she hasn't complained once, Noctis can see the way she winces every time she shifts and the movement pulls on tender skin, and the knowledge that he has dozens of elixirs locked away in an Armiger he can no longer access makes him want to tear his hair out at the roots. Elixirs administered in a hospital were prohibitively expensive, and while she'd been given enough to keep the initial wounds from killing her outright, the real healing was being left up to time itself and a few lesser potions to speed things along a bit.

 

If Noctis was a little stronger, he would have already pulled out ten of his own elixirs and forced them down her throat until the skin had mended and the only scars that remained were mental, but unfortunately for everyone involved, he's apparently still powerless garbage, and Iris is going to be left with a scar stretching from the top of her ribs all the way down to the opposite thigh because of it.

 

Ignis shakes his head at Iris' apology. "All of us are just relieved that you're alright. That's all that matters now," he says gently, keeping his voice low to avoid disturbing Talcott from where he's pressed up against Iris' good leg, arms wrapped around her knee and head resting on her thigh as he sleeps.

 

Iris moves her hands to nervously fiddle with a strand of hair behind Talcott's ear, gazing at his sleeping face with her lower lip between her teeth, then suddenly releases it as she sniffs and pulls in a shaky breath. "I just-... They went after _Talcott_. Some Imperial soldier with a few MTs with him. One minute everything was calm, then the next they barge into the hotel room asking all these questions about who we are and where we came from. Jared tried to reason with them, but then they grabbed Talcott's arm and I-" Iris cuts off with another heaving breath, pressing her hands to her face and shaking her head. No one says a word, giving her a few seconds to calm down before she finally drops her hands again, eyes shining with tears but a shaky smile on her face as she looks to where Gladio is leaning forward in his chair with a worried expression on his face. "You would have been proud, I took down two of the MTs before they got me."

 

Gladio heaves out a breath and reaches for one of her hands, squeezing it tightly in his. "Iris, I _told you_ to stay out of these things. You almost _died_ -"

 

"Gladdy, they were trying to _take_ him," Iris says angrily as she starts to sit up, then stops as the movement jostles the boy's head against her leg and he starts shifting in his sleep for a moment. "He only managed to get out of the hotel because they were distracted with me, and I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat even knowing how it would end if I had to. Our name literally means friendship, and you're an idiot if you think I wouldn't fight to keep them from taking a kid."

 

 _"YOU'RE just a kid,"_ Noctis finds himself wanting to point out, but for once in his thirty year long unbroken streak of horrible decisions, he wisely decides to keep his mouth shut.

 

There's a tense few moments of silence as Iris keeps her face as fierce as always despite her lower lip beginning to tremble slightly, before Gladio finally nods his head once unwillingly and Ignis takes a step forward from where he's been leaning against the wall.

 

"Can you tell us a little more about what happened during the attack? The doctor said that you seemed to have been poisoned with something that kept you from being properly healed. They didn't inject you with anything, did they?"

 

Iris shakes her head and finally breaks her intense eye contact with Gladio to look at Ignis instead. "No, not that I know of. It all happened so fast, but I was still mostly conscious when they finally left us there, and I don't remember anything like that."

 

"Was there _anything_ out of the ordinary when they attacked you? Even something that may have seemed insignificant at the time?"

 

Iris starts chewing on her lip as she goes quiet to think, then tilts her head as something seems to come to mind. "Well... Actually, now that you mention it, there was something kind of weird with the second MT." Ignis stands to attention at that, nodding his head to encourage her to keep speaking. Iris hesitates, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's kinda hard to explain, sorry... I don't really know what happened. I went after the helmet of the first one, but their armor is actually _really_ strong and I could barely break through it in time before the second one was grabbing for me. I guess I kind of panicked and just punched through the weakest area I could spot, which ended up being that weird glowing core they all have on their chests. The MT shut down as soon as I broke the glass, but it cut my hand up pretty bad and I got covered in this weird black... _something._ I don't know what it was, but it was all over me by the time I passed out. I didn't really think about it at the time, but maybe that had something to do with it?"

 

Noct's eyes widen and his head tilts back as missing puzzle pieces are beginning to click into place, but he still remains silent as he glances to the observation window. Ardyn is gone- and of course he is, because Noctis actually _wants_ to talk to him for once- but he's pretty sure he knows exactly what part the other man played in Iris' "miraculous, unexpected recovery" without having the man there to confirm it anyway. It would also explain the odd behavior of the daemons at the power plant, with their sudden fleeing likely coinciding with the moment that Ardyn had finished with Iris and no longer needed to keep Noctis as far away from the hospital as possible while he worked, though why Ardyn would bother _at all_ is something significantly more difficult to understand.

 

The room lapses into another tense silence as Ignis murmurs, "I see," and begins tapping his lower lip with his finger, before Prompto finally steps forward with a small smile on his face and rests his hand lightly on Iris' shoulder.

 

"It's great to have you back with us regardless," Prompto says quietly, squeezing gently and eyes earnest, "and for what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. You protected someone weaker than you, just like Gladio would have, even if he won't admit it." He trails off as he seems to consider his next words, then hesitantly adds, "I'm-... I'm really proud of you."

 

Gladio actually nods his head immediately to Noct's surprise, hand tightening on her knee. "Me too. What's done is done, and you made the best call you could in the moment. Not to mention you took down two MTs completely unarmed and kept them from taking Talcott with them. You did good."

 

"Agreed," Ignis finishes, smile warm and kind. "Your father would be proud of you as well."

 

Iris' face crumples as she drops it into her hands again, shoulders trembling and chest jerking around a shaky inhale, then whispers in a voice so genuine that it makes Noct smile despite himself: " _Thanks._ "

 

\---

 

Exiting into the blazing morning sunlight after a full night of terror, anxiety, daemon slaughtering, near death experiences, and ultimately relief, is so bizarre that Noctis feels like he's gone through a time warp all over again. It seems nearly impossible that twelve hours ago they were pulling up into a parking spot after obtaining the Mithril, and between only having gotten a few hours of sleep two nights ago, the stress of the last night, and still having not slept again yet, Noctis is so tired he thinks he might curl up on the pavement and die in front of the hospital if Ignis and Prompto would let him.

 

"You think Gladio will be okay alone on the sofa in Iris' room?" Prompto asks, hiking Talcott up a little higher on his back where the boy is still dead to the world with his arms limply around Prompto's neck. "He was hovering over her so much I'm afraid he might pass out and accidentally smother her."

 

Ignis exhales a single laugh, adjusting his glasses from where they keep sliding down over the sweat and grime still covering his skin from the debacle at the power plant. "I'm sure the nurses would be alerted to a sudden change in Iris' heart monitors, not to worry."

 

Noctis is barely listening as the other man speaks, brain in a fog as he shuffles towards the hotel on autopilot, and nearly runs into Prompto when the blonde suddenly stops to look back towards Ignis. Noctis blinks and follows his gaze to look back curiously at Ignis himself, finding the man hesitating mid-step with an unsure expression on his face. "Ah... Apologies for the inconvenience, but... Prompto, take Talcott back to the Leville, I'll catch up in a minute. I just need a quick word with Luke."

 

Noctis feels his veins run cold and his stomach sink immediately at that, heart doing it's best to start fluttering wildly despite the heavy blanket of exhaustion holding it down. He momentarily ponders the possibility of just turning tail and running, but he isn't entirely sure he has enough energy to get above a staggering jog, and Ignis with his body made of 70% leg had always been the fastest sprinter out of all of them anyway. Easier to just accept his impending death now without putting up the fight.

 

"Now? You-... You want to talk now? None of us have even slept yet," Noct points out in a half hearted attempt to stall, looking to Prompto for back up.

 

Prompto just smiles tiredly and shakes his head in response. "I'll see you guys at the hotel. Good luck, buddy."

 

Noctis can tell that Prompto is trying to keep the words casual and lighthearted as he trudges away, but there's an undercurrent of stiffness and worry that only serves to make Noct feel worse as he looks up into Ignis' face and sees that the other man is refusing to meet his eyes.

 

They remain in silence until Prompto and Talcott disappear around a corner, then Noctis clears his throat and forces himself to ask, "so... Where to, then?" with a tired shrug, not even bothering to hide his exhaustion at this point. He's not sure he could if he tried.

 

"There's a bench in front of the lookout point that seems to be empty, if that suits you."

 

"You're the one who wanted to talk, you tell me."

 

Ignis inclines his head a little stiffly and then begins to walk in the direction of the lookout, Noctis trailing behind him unwillingly as he fidgets with a loose thread on the hem of his shirt. He can feel his mind running a mile a minute, half-formed excuses and thoughts churning in a giant mass, and yet finding himself too tired to focus on a single one. Well, apart from the voice that suggests, _"tell him that you're his king from the future, sent back in time to save the world from an ancient and evil wizard, but present it as a JOKE! It'll be hilarious in a few years after he's already killed you and he suddenly realizes that you weren't kidding!"_ but out of all the options in the infinite universe, that seems like the absolute worst one possible, and it doesn't really help him much. 

 

He can't help but hang back as they reach the bench, fight or flight response activating so intensely at the sight of Ignis taking a seat and looking at him expectantly that he almost _does_ turn to run this time, but he can't seem to get his legs to move. Instead he stands frozen, senses overwhelmed to the point that even the quiet sounds of two women having a conversation in the parking lot above them sounding like a deafening roar in his mind.

 

Finally Ignis sighs and pats the bench next to him to encourage Noct to sit. "Luke, please, I'm not going to _hurt_ you regardless. All I'm asking is for you to have an honest conversation with me, that's all."

 

Noctis manages to unlock his legs just enough to take the last few unsteady steps, practically dropping onto the bench with a heavy thump and narrowing his focus down onto a spot on his knees. An awkward silence stretches between them as Noctis continues worrying at his shirt, and Ignis gazes thoughtfully out towards the Disc of Cauthess glinting in the morning sunlight. When he chances the barest glance in his direction, he finds Ignis actually chewing on his lip in a rare show of nerves despite his relaxed posture, and he drops his gaze again quickly before he can be caught staring.

 

"So... Would you care to finally tell me who you really are?" Ignis asks at length, voice quiet and gaze remaining steadfastly forward.

 

The sound of his voice makes Noctis flinch despite the softness of his tone, the built up dread of their conversation making him jumpy. "I-..." He tries to start, then his voice locks nervously and he has to swallow before he can try again. "I don't know where to start. That's kind of a big question."

 

"Well, where did you come from?" Ignis asks after a pause, and Noctis takes one final breath before finally settling on the only Hail Mary move he can think of to try to get himself out of the situation.

 

"Niflheim."

 

Ignis looks over at him at shock at that one, eyebrows raising. "Niflheim? You neither look nor sound like a citizen of Niflheim. You speak like a Lucian."

 

"My parents aren't from there. They moved before I was born, and I just speak how they taught me." Noct starts to compulsively move his hand to the back of the neck, but stops when he catches Ignis watching the movement with a sharp eye. To his credit, Ignis had always been good at picking up on people's nervous tics and signs of dishonesty, and Noct tries to cover the gesture by brushing a piece of hair behind his ear instead.

 

"You were born to foreign parents in Niflheim, and then ended up back in Lucis? That's quite the journey. And what exactly led you to seek the Oracle?"

 

Noctis leans back against the bench and puffs out his cheeks as he tries to piece together his memories of what he'd seen in Gralea what feels like a whole lifetime ago. The evidence of an entire city frozen in time in one extended moment of terror, windows and doors nailed shut in an attempt to lock out the encroaching darkness, the cars crowding the streets with their owner's clothing still untouched on the seats after their transformations... The eerie quiet of a city neither living nor dead. It had seemed unbelievable when he had been standing there in thick of it, looking around the haunted city with his own eyes, and now trying to condense it into a believable story that isn't truly his own seems nearly impossible.

 

Noctis tries, though. Framed as a citizen, he tries to explain the things he'd seen and read in Zegnautus: the mysterious illness causing people to disappear; the quarantine that started in the West of the city and soon spread throughout; the rumors that it had all started from one of the nearby military facilities that was secretly housing daemons for experiments; the daemons that overran the Magitek laboratory in Zegnautus, causing the unprogrammed MTs to go berserk; the fears that humans were being used for research purposes, and the emperor who let it all happen.

 

By the time he finally comes to the end of it all a few minutes later, Noct is even more exhausted, becoming keenly aware of how his eyes are starting to burn from the lack of sleep, and shoulders slumping. Ignis hasn't moved a muscle since he started speaking, and when Noct finally forces himself to raise his weary gaze to the other man's face, he really isn't even entirely surprised to find Ignis staring at him with a stony look on his face and jaw clenched tight.

 

" _... That_ is the story you're going with?" Ignis asks, tone gone cold with quiet fury in that way that Noctis knows it does whenever he feels personally offended. Despite having expected it, Noct still feels his stomach sink at the sound of his voice.

 

"Well... Yeah. Yes. It's true."

 

Ignis sits up a little straighter, bringing a hand up to touch the side of his glasses to calm himself. "You intend for me to believe that the city of Gralea is in shambles as we speak, it's citizens all turned to daemons, and that the Emperor himself was likely complicit in all this? Like some sort of villain from a children's show?"

 

And at this point, it's just so hard for Noct to keep trying just for the sake of appearances. _All of this,_ start to finish, is so absurd and unbelievable that truly, how COULD Ignis believe him? An entire empire having secretly fallen to daemons behind closed doors is the most believable part of his entire situation, so really, the fact that he's even made it this far is some sort of minor miracle in and of itself. Gladio probably should have just snapped his head off of his shoulders when he first appeared in Leide; if nothing else, it would have at least saved Ardyn the trouble of having to do it.

 

... Again.

 

Noctis opens his mouth silently for several long seconds as he considers what to say, trying to come up with the magic words to make Ignis stop _looking at him like that,_ and finally ends up with: "Well I don't know about a children's show... Kind of a dark plotline for kids. Teen and up at least, don't you think?"

 

It's obviously the wrong thing to say. Ignis' eyebrows furrow together in fury, and Noctis knows that the other man thinks that he's being mocked. That "Luke," the mysterious stranger who had forced himself uninvited into all of their lives coincidentally right around when everything started going to shit, is being purposefully glib just to further add insult to injury in an already decimated situation.

 

Noctis keeps his head down to avoid seeing the hurt and anger he knows has to be there.

 

The ensuing silence is absolutely suffocating, and Noct is nearly on the verge of fidgeting miserably where he sits by the time Ignis finally sighs, then speaks again in a voice still soft, but the rage replaced with bone-deep exhaustion and a sadness that makes Noct want to run all over again.

 

"I'll choose to ignore your ill-timed joke and not take it as you openly ridiculing both me and the situation at hand. I know you attempt to use humor when you feel uncomfortable, so I'm going to let that go and give you one more chance. I just want you to be honest with me, as it would appear that everything you've ever told us is a lie."

 

"Not _all_ of it. Some parts are true. Well, at least mostly true. Probably."

 

Noctis jumps as Ignis suddenly slams his palm on the bench between them, looking up with wide eyes to find Ignis leaning forward with a nearly desperate look on his face.

 

" _Gods above,_ Luke, _please_. I just need to know that my companions are going to be safe if I continue to trust you, and to do that I need to know who you are. I put my faith in you before, and I need you to put your faith in me now."

 

Noctis stares at his knees and swallows, feeling his heart shatter in his chest. He _wants_ to tell Ignis _so bad,_ to finally be able to tell someone about what he's been through, the dreams that haunt him and his fears that he may have truly fucked everything up beyond repair. He _hates_ the name 'Luke,' he _hates_ having to hide himself from his friends all the time, and he _hates_ the constant feeling of total helplessness that's haunted him since his magic dried up and left him with nothing. He's so tired of being the only one with fractured memories of broken faces staring sightlessly up at him, of fire burning the world around him to the ground, of malicious laughter coming from some shapeless form of malevolence. The weight of it all is suffocating to hold onto by himself, and every single part of him down to his very core is screaming to finally, finally talk to someone who will listen.

 

And if the man sitting next to him was really Ignis- the one who had simultaneously grown up with and raised him at the same time, the one with a lifetime of shared memories, the one who had voluntarily sacrificed so much just to protect a King who had turned out to be so unworthy in the end- he probably would have.

 

But he's not. He sounds like him and looks like him, he even does that thing where he holds his breath when he gets excited about something but doesn't want to show it just like him, but in the end they're two completely different people, and Noctis is sitting next to a stranger. And so instead, with his eyes blurring and voice wound tight and unnatural with repressed emotion, he shakes his head and forces out a quiet, "I _can't_. I'm sorry."

 

He sees Ignis still leaning forward out of his peripheral, though his shoulders have slumped slightly and his head is angled downwards in what Noct can only assume is a silent acceptance of defeat. Another horrible silence stretches between them before Ignis finally moves to sit up straight, seeming to collect himself again as though putting your heart back together was as easy as taking a few deep breaths and just willing it to be so.

 

"Is your name even Luke?" He finally asks, and Noctis can't stop the surprised, almost bitter bark of laughter that forces it's way out of him.

 

He wants to say yes- to try to salvage what he can of a situation that's already gone so far to shit that it's completely unsalvageable- but he just can't. He _hates that fucking name._ "No," he finally whispers instead.

 

Ignis remains totally still for several long seconds more as he seems to observe the miserable expression on Noct's face, then he's slowly dragging himself to his feet, graceful as always but with a heaviness to the movements that belies his exhaustion and disappointment.

 

"I cannot- WILL not- put my friends at risk for the sake of a man who's told so many lies that he can no longer keep them straight, nor offer honesty when given the chance to do so," he begins quietly, and Noctis has to close his eyes with an inhale at the sharp pain in his chest. "If the Oracle still wishes to speak with you after I've given my report, she can send for you if you still remain in Lestallum."

 

Noctis stays quiet as he hears Ignis take several hesitant steps away. Then the footsteps stop, and Ignis turns towards him once more. "I believe your belongings are still in the Chancellor's vehicle, however, if I find anything of yours in our room, I will make sure to leave it with the front desk. I truly do wish you luck on your journey, and I'm sorry that it had to end like this." And with that, Ignis is gone, the rustling of the breeze and the quiet sounds of distant conversations the only thing filling the silence.

 

He stays frozen in place after that for what feels like hours, breath stuttering weakly in and out of his chest as his eyes stay locked on his knees. His eyes and throat are burning viciously as though he's been sobbing for an entire lifetime, though his cheeks are dry when he wipes his hands over his face to try to stabilize himself in a world that seems to be spinning around him.

 

He's almost- _almost_ \- surprised when he hears the thudding of heavy boots walking towards him to his right, and he catches the familiar sight of a thick coat out of the corner of his eyes, but somehow finds that he isn't, really. Instead he just feels empty yet resigned.

 

"That _truly_ is a shame, isn't it?" A deep voice croons in a mockery of pity. "All alone again without your friends and stranded so far away from home. A truly cruel twist of fate."

 

Noct doesn't turn to look at who it is. He already knows.

 

"Well then, are you coming? You still need to make your way to Altissia somehow, do you not?"

 

Noctis sniffs thickly with unshed tears, letting the breath out in a long sigh and slumping forward with his elbows on his knees as he slowly pulls his hands over his face again. They end up clasped in front of him as if in prayer, the backs of his thumbs lightly brushing over his lips as he stares forward and weighs his options, then he's finally hauling himself to his feet and shoves his hands in his pockets.

 

Maybe it really _is_ all because of fate. Maybe his soul is tied so tightly to his matching joker now that the deck can no longer be shuffled without the two of them remaining side-by-side anymore. Maybe it's _always_ been that way, the fallacy of choice merely presented as a way to keep him calm long enough to complete his task before killing him off and tossing him aside. Maybe, even if given a million lifetimes to try over and over again, he would still always end up with nothing but the sight of smirking lips and malicious eyes staring down at him, his friends dead or gone or having abandoned him. 

 

Or maybe he's just being punished for something.

 

Noctis sighs and rolls back onto his heels as he allows himself one last moment to stare helplessly and a little accusingly up at the skies above him, then he's turning to where Ardyn is waiting for him with a theatrically outstretched arm and that ever-present quirk of his lips.

 

"Yeah, yeah... I'm coming."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I know I've said this a lot, but this chapter was ACTUALLY the most difficult one so far and I'm pretty displeased with it in the end. I know it was super weird and jerky with the pacing, but I think sometimes I'm so focused on where I need the story to go, and I read through it so many times, that I stop being able to really absorb the words and judge whether or not the characters are still behaving like humans by the end of it. And after six hours of messing with it, I was driving myself absolutely up the wall and making myself miserable, so in the end I decided to just do what I could with it and move on before I burnt myself out.
> 
> 2\. I am STRAIGHT UP making shit up about MTs, but I feel like it makes sense in some way...? Like if their cores are condensed daemon goo, and daemon goo is basically pure parasite-borne virusy shit, then SURELY getting sprayed by it when you're covered in open wounds would result in an infection? MAYBE? I DO NOT KNOW BUT IT'S TOO LATE NOW AND NEITHER LOVE NOR MONEY CAN MAKE ME GO BACK AND LOOK AT THIS SHIT AGAIN, IT'S DEAD TO ME
> 
> 3\. While I understand a "Hail Mary" wouldn't exist in Eos because there's no Virgin Mary, I absolutely REFUSE to write "Hail Shiva." I don't know why, it just sounds really... Dumb to me. Like "Y I K E S" level dumb. I tried to force myself, but just typing it makes me want to flinch. I dunno. Maybe Mary was just some random super rad chick that everyone still remembers and talks about.
> 
> 4\. @JupiterRadical is Tumblr/personal Twitter, 666ofOne is writing Twitter, if you want, though there's a lot of shitposting that goes on with all of them and I swear even more than I do while writing this fic.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. My brother decided to visit virtually unannounced on the same weekend that my partner's family came to visit, AND it was Labor Day weekend, so work was crazy. Then I got overconfident and was like, "PSSSHHH I CAN TOTALLY PUSH THIS ONE OUT IN LIKE, A DAY OR TWO," and then it ended up absolutely murdering me. So... Yeah. Thank you for your patience. <3

Whether due to physical exhaustion or emotional emptiness, Noct doesn't put up even a token amount of fight as Ardyn leads him towards where his automobile of boxy mediocrity is parked. He doesn't even say anything when Ardyn grips his forearm to steady him after he trips, then doesn't remove his hand, keeping it wrapped around Noct's wrist like he doesn't trust him to remember how to walk on his own. Honestly, he was probably onto something, and in some sad, sick part of his mind, the touch kind of felt nice anyway. It made him want to set himself on fire knowing who the hand belonged to, but other than that, the feeling of someone else's skin brushing against his was significantly more comforting than it had any right to be.

 

What he really wants is to curl up against someone with his head on their chest and listen to their heartbeat until his molecules fuse into them like a parasitic male Angler fish, but he isn't willing to examine that embarrassing daydream for any length of time even if his soul _has_ been thrown into a literal pit of despair. 

 

Ardyn finally releases him as the reached his car, and Noctis has to stop himself from darting his hand out to grab him by the sleeve like a scared child, instead toppling himself over the top of the back door and sliding across the back seats with his arm thrown over his eyes.

 

He hears the front car door open then shut again a moment later, though after a while Noctis realizes that the engine still hasn't turned on and he pulls his arm away from his face to glance tiredly up to where Ardyn is watching him quietly from the front seat. Ordinarily he probably would have immediately flashed to anger, or at the very least annoyance, but instead he just peers back up at him with an expression on his face of open exhaustion, then rolls onto his side and curls up as much as the seat will allow, arms moving to hug around his sides in an unconsciously self-soothing gesture.

 

 _Fuck_ he was tired...

 

"So where are we going?" Noctis finally asks softly, voice further muffled against the seat from where his lips press into it as he's too lazy to shift his head the few centimeters to speak clearly.

 

"I have a personal Magitek engine being stored at a nearby military base. We'll be taking that to Altissia."

 

Noctis groans. "I _hate_ those things, they never have anywhere to sit. What does Niflheim have against comfortable transportation?"

 

"I think you'll find mine to be much more to your liking. It was designed specifically for travel, not military transportation."

 

They fall silent again after that, Noctis mindlessly counting the number of stripes on the floor mats under him, before he forces himself to raise his eyes enough to look at Ardyn through his hair. "... If you had an airship so close by this whole time, why didn't we just take it to begin with? Why parade us off to go get Mithril at all?"

 

Ardyn slowly scans over his face in that way that always makes Noct feel slightly uncomfortable, taking his time to answer. "Call it an experiment for a theory that required first-hand confirmation."

 

Noct's mind screams a warning at him, but he's just too tired to care, heart still silently aching in his chest and body covered in a layer of exhaustion so thick that he can barely lift his lungs enough to even keep breathing, so instead he turns further into the seat under him and quietly murmurs, "okay." His body _hurts_ he's so tired, mind going nearly delirious the moment his eyelashes finally flutter shut, and he thinks he might hear Ardyn chuckle and say something like, "you truly have ruined _everything,_ haven't you?" and swears he can feel fingertips running down the line of his jaw, but then again he could be dreaming too, and then the next instant he's completely dead to the world and doesn't feel or hear a single thing.

 

\---

 

Noctis doesn't stir again until his body suddenly starts sliding on the seat under him and his eyes shoot open in alarm, sluggishly realizing much too late that Ardyn is pulling to a _very_ sudden stop. He drops heavily to the floorboards with a loud thump, a high pitched whine of displeasure shooting through the air at the impact, though he doesn't bother to pull himself up. Too much effort.

 

"The fuck was that about?" he groans from the floor instead, wincing in irritation as Ardyn pulling through a tight turn starts to crush his head against the door and hands finally scrabbling to right himself as he decides that maybe it's worth it to be sitting up after all.

 

"I'm _truly_ sorry, did that wake you?" Ardyn asks in that fake placating voice that's honestly so much worse than Ardyn just being an unapologetic monster, and Noct blearily looks up to find that their car is turning to drive into the open "mouth" of an enormous Magitek Engine. The sight of it makes Noct's heart jump nervously into his throat on instinct, hands tightening nervously on the back of the front seat from where he had pulled himself up a moment before. Ardyn, seeming to hear the creak of the leather under Noct's hands, lifts his own to pat over Noct's in what he probably intends to be a soothing gesture, but really just sets him more on edge. "Don't be frightened, I have no intention of letting harm befall you during your passage."

 

Noctis yanks his hand away childishly, crossing his arms over his chest and scooting back to sit against his seat. "I'm not 'frightened.' And don't touch me."

 

The airship somehow manages to seem even larger on the inside than it did on the outside as they pull up into a small parking dock and exit into the rest of the ship, and Noct's jaw drops open as the door slides open to reveal the interior.

 

Unlike Aranea's "custom" engine, which was only custom in the sense that it was painted red, but otherwise just as cold and cavernous as every other Magitek engine Noct had ever had the great displeasure of being inside of, Ardyn's was downright _lavish,_ looking more like an enormous but cozy study than a vehicle of military transportation. Cluttered but comfortable, with multiple dark wooden desks against the walls, plush velvet couches and wingback chairs, and bookshelves practically sagging with the weight of leather bound books crammed absolutely everywhere, all bathed in a warm golden glow from intricately carved glass wall sconces dotted over the walls. It feels somewhat like walking straight into a historical photo, and the irony of Ardyn having taken something as advanced and modern as a Magitek engine and turning it into what looks like a 200 year old library isn't completely lost on Noctis as he moves further inside.

 

He's so busy gaping at the interior that he doesn't even notice that he's walking straight towards a particularly well-used desk stacked with papers, until Ardyn is suddenly reaching a hand out and saying, "be careful-" before it's too late and his hip connects painfully with one of the corners hard enough to make him swear. The impact sends a lumpy, hideous ceramic mug off the edge of the desk, and Noct instinctively tries to phase to reach it in time before it shatters on the ground, but instead he's left uselessly holding his hand out in the air as it bursts into multiple large shards and scatters across the floor.

 

To his shock, Ardyn actually lets out a deeply pained noise, then sighs as he looks around at the remnants with an expression so genuinely sad that it catches Noctis slightly off-guard. "That was my _favorite_ mug," he says mournfully, and Noctis stares at him in absolute disbelief.

 

"You can have a favorite _anything?_ I thought you could only feel hate and resentment."

 

Ardyn pretends to look hurt as he stoops to pick up the broken pieces, ducking his head underneath the heavy wooden desk to peer around for all of them. "I don't know why you insist on assuming such horrible things about me. I'll have you know that it was the perfect size for both soups _and_ beverages, and the ceramic was of excellent quality. Kept drinks warm for hours. I'm afraid I'll never find another quite like it."

 

"If it makes you feel any better, it was _really_ ugly.

 

Ardyn moves to stand, the shattered pieces held carefully in one hand, and turns a raised eyebrow to Noctis. "As you grow older, I think you'll come to find that physical appearance doesn't often count towards anything worthwhile. And aren't you going to apologize for breaking someone else's possession?"

 

"Naaah," Noct responds immediately, "in FACT," and he reaches out a hand to begin pushing a glass of the desk, nearly making it all the way to the edge before Ardyn is gracefully snatching it out of his hand and then turning to blow air into his face like he's punishing a cat for trying to claw the side of the couch.

 

The instinctive flinch that the air hitting his eyes causes absolutely infuriates Noctis, and for a moment he very seriously considers slapping Ardyn across the face, but ultimately decides against it. For one thing, he's still tired, and putting that much effort into anything doesn't seem particularly worth it. For another, he isn't entirely convinced that Ardyn wouldn't enjoy it on some level. He ends up squinting his eyes shut instead, dropping his face into his hands and mumbling out a passionate, "OKAY, sorry, _fuck._ No wonder your fellow Nifs don't even like you. Do you blow air in their faces too?"

 

"None of them thus far have made it a habit to attempt to willfully destroy my favorite earthenware, so I'm afraid I couldn't say," Ardyn says lightly as he deposits the shards ceramic into the waste basket next to the desk, then gestures for Noct to follow him over his shoulder. "Although I wouldn't put it past a certain High Commander I'm acquainted with. You two would probably get along famously, he sulks about with nearly the same commitment to casual insolence that you do."

 

Noct is pretty sure that Ardyn is talking about Ravus, and is honestly pretty offended that Ardyn would ever _dare_ imply that the two of them might be similar enough to get along (Ravus was- or is, again- an absolute twat, and Noctis hadn't wanted him to DIE because of it, but regardless, he had always been an undeniable and unrepentant twat, and Noctis isn't exactly keen on being described as 'casually insolent' along with a man who bore such a resemblance to an angry sock puppet that Noctis could barely believe he was a living, breathing human that didn't have a fist up his ass,) but he keeps his mouth shut and takes several quick steps to catch up to where Ardyn is already walking towards a long hallway. Realistically, jogging to keep up with the other man's long strides should probably fill him further with indignant rage, but the thick layer of emotional and physical exhaustion leaves him much more willing to sacrifice his pride in favor of getting somewhere with a horizontal surface to drape himself across.

 

"You look unwell," Ardyn observes as he glances down at Noct, "you know, perhaps you wouldn't feel quite so under the weather if you hadn't spent an entire night attempting to start a brawl in the middle of a hospital." And he has the audacity to to offer a polite but pointed smile as he says it, like he's some _paragon_ of appropriate social behaviors. Noctis can't decide if he hates his face or his irritatingly lighthearted tone of voice more, and ends up deciding that Ardyn is a complicated man who deserves to be seen for the whole picture that he is, and therefore he should just hate all of him equally.

 

"Yeah, well. We can't all be as famously forgiving as you are, can we?" Noctis offers back with the most forced smile he can possibly produce, though in reality he really just pulls his lips off of his teeth and bares them at Ardyn in a grimace.

 

Ardyn looks unfazed, sweeping his hand over a sensor leading to one of the rooms and stepping aside as the door opens silently. "And what have I ever done to you that would call for forgiveness? Why, I'd go so far as to say I've done nothing but help you ever since I found you in Galdin."

 

"Oh, cut the shit, Chancellor. I could go down the list, but I think most of it can be summed up by you _burning my city_ to the ground." Noctis steps inside and looks around, eyebrows furrowing at the sight. It looks halfway between a decorated bedroom, and a strange storage room for old relics, with a heavy four poster bed with thick velvet drapes against the wall to his left, a large white ball gown on a bust in one corner, and dark oil paintings on every available space of the walls and leaning up against almost every surface throughout the room. He thinks he might spot a few weapons in the corner that look suspiciously like Royal Arms replicas, but they're piled haphazardly behind more oil paintings, and Noctis can't quite tell for sure.

 

He hears Ardyn chuckle behind him as he stares at his surroundings. "Goodness, are you from Insomnia now? I thought just hours ago you said you told your bespectacled friend that you were from Niflheim. Well, in that case, you must appreciate the decorations, no?"

 

And it's at that exact moment that recognition _does_ start to dawn on Noct, his breath catching in his throat as he slowly begins spinning around in place, staring around in horror at the items crammed inside the room. "Wait... Wait, what the fuck?!"

 

He recognizes several marble busts laying haphazardly next to the door as being modeled after various Lucian kings, all of which having been originally displayed in one of the hallways of the citadel. He turns more and recognizes a huge oil painting taking up nearly an entire wall as one that had been exhibited at the world renowned art museum in the heart of the city; a several hundred year old piece depicting a scene of the first King of Lucis choosing his Glaives. Noct's movements grow jerky with panic as he keeps moving and realizes that _every_ painting is either from the Citadel or from the Insomnian Art Museum, interspersed with the occasional sculpture, jewelry, or other precious relic, most of which look like they had just been crammed inside with no regard to safety or preservation.

 

His heart sinks as he turns back towards the bed and the large white dress standing next to it, trying to take a step away and feeling his back connect with Ardyn's chest instead.

 

"It would have been such a _shame_ to lose so many priceless artifacts when Insomnia was destroyed, don't you agree? So I had some of them removed from the city before they could be damaged. That's Queen Aulea's wedding dress over there on that bust. Simply exquisite craftsmanship." Noct feels frozen in place as he stares, nausea clawing at his throat as Ardyn speaks quietly behind his ear. "I had the honor of meeting her once. Such a incredible woman, a true gift to her kingdom. Kind, gentle, but sharp as a whip, and the most _beautiful_ blue eyes." Ardyn has his hands on Noct's shoulders now as he turns him slightly so they're facing one another, and Noct stares back at him with wide eyes as he tries, and fails, to jerk away again. "I'd never seen another pair quite like them until her son was born. The exact image of his mother's- quite similar to yours, actually. Uncanny."

 

Noctis jolts again and Ardyn finally lets him go, looking maliciously amused as Noct stumbles over his own feet until the backs of his legs hit the bed. Noctis is just trying to find something to say or do other than stare at Ardyn in abject horror, but the only thing he can think of is, _"now I'm definitely happy I broke your stupid fucking mug."_ Unfortunately, gloating over a broken mug just doesn't fully make up for the disgust coursing through his blood at being trapped in a room that feels more like a storage space for a particularly vindictive tomb raider than a guest room, and he's once again left speechless at Ardyn's tireless commitment to absolute cruelty.

 

"Have I upset you? I'm sorry, I thought you might like to hear a few stories about your country's dear royal family. Her untimely death was such a tragedy, though I suppose it was kinder in the end than having to be alive for the daemon attack that took her son. The Gods truly do work in mysterious ways." Ardyn laughs in his empty, joyless way, and Noctis shakes his head in disbelief.

 

"This is way, way too fucked up, even for you. I don't want to stay in here."

 

"Why not? Is it too cramped? I _do_ apologize for that, I'm afraid I'm running short on space at the moment. You should be excited though, this bed is fit for a king! And I mean that literally, this was King Regis' bed frame. And his father's before him, and his father's before him, and- well, I'm sure you follow. It's quite old. The drapes are new, though. The Lucian colors are just much too drab for me." The new ones are a deep purplish-red velvet with gold trim and Noctis _hates_ them, unsurprisingly, but that's the absolute least of his concerns.

 

His jaw clenches tight, the sound of his own teeth squeaking as the press together sounding like a scream in his ears. "I guess this probably means absolutely nothing to you at this point, but thousands of people _died_ when Niflheim invaded the city. Why is everything such a big fucking joke to you?"

 

"What, the thing about the colors? That's not a joke, I really do find black velvet to be horribly distasteful."

 

Noctis shouldn't rise to the bait- he KNOWS what Ardyn is doing- but that doesn't stop him from wanting to pick something up and hurl it at his infuriatingly smug face. The only things he can see around him are precious pieces of art from his home, though, and he isn't willing to sacrifice any of them for the very temporary satisfaction of causing Ardyn harm. Even the glass on the bedside table is an intricate and likely priceless piece of crystal glasswork that he recognizes as originally being the ritual goblet used by The Pious, which of _course_ Ardyn would repurpose as a basic water cup because Ardyn held _literally nothing sacred._

 

He groans in frustration as his searching glance to find anything worthwhile to throw continues to reveal more and more artifacts that he recognizes from his childhood, hands lifting to grip desperately at his hair as his eyes fall on a statue of The Warrior that appears to be being utilized as a coat rack. _... And was that his dad's favorite suit jacket hanging off his katana?!_ "Gods, why do you have to TORTURE me so much? I never did _anything_ to you before you started obsessing over me! I didn't even know you!"

 

Ardyn widens his eyes in mock surprise as he takes in Noct's agonized form, tilting his head inquisitively. "I can assure you that I had no intention of _torturing_ you. If you feel that strongly about the new drapes, I'm sure the old ones are around here somewhere."

 

A strangled, guttural growl of frustration forces it's way out of Noct's throat as he rips his hands out of his hair, having far surpassed his emotional breaking point and ability to think rationally. Judging by the pleased smirk on Ardyn's face, he probably just played directly into the man's hands exactly the way he wanted, but he can't help it when every single thing about that smug face and the monster it concealed was so unbelievably _maddening._ Before he's fully aware of what he's doing, Noct finds himself storming towards Ardyn with the intention of grabbing him by the wrist and dragging him forward (or snapping it off, whichever was more satisfying,) but the moment his hand starts to close, a zing of electricity crackles up his arm and through his body with such violent intensity that he immediately yanks his hand back with a surprised cry. "Gods DAMN it, seriously, what the _FUCK_ is that?!"

 

Ardyn offers no explanation, instead just smiles passively and extends his hand towards Noct as though offering it to a suspicious dog to examine. Noctis is tempted to slap it away, but he'd be lying if he tried to act like he wasn't just as fascinated as he was infuriated by the continual rushes of energy that sprang to life every time they made contact with one another.

 

With his anger temporarily diverted to intense, single-minded curiosity, Noct moves to gingerly grab Ardyn by the sleeve, lifting the man's arm and finding him to be surprisingly compliant in the process as he cautiously brushes his knuckles against the back of Ardyn's hand. Sensation flutters back to life under his skin again, but it seems to stay at a gentle hum now that his murderous rage is somewhat in check, and after a few seconds with no painful surges, Noctis trusts himself to turn Ardyn's hand over to tentatively smooth his fingers over the glove covering his open palm.

 

He huffs in frustration as the fabric of both of their gloves seems to dull the flow of energy, and before he can talk himself out of it, he grabs the fingers of his own glove with his teeth and yanks it off, then snatches the edge of Ardyn's and pulls. Ardyn still offers no resistance, either due to amusement or his own curiosity, and while he makes a quiet tutting noise at him as Noctis flings the glove haphazardly behind him and it lands somewhere behind a pile of boxes, he keeps his hands lax and allows himself to be tugged around with no other complaint.

 

With all the immediate roadblocks out of the way, Noctis pushes his hands as far up Ardyn's forearm as his sleeve will allow, running his fingertips over the muscle of his arm and across the inside of his wrist, then back down over his hands again, spreading the fingers and then lacing them with his in a gesture that would probably feel embarrassingly intimate if he wasn't so focused on his own irritated curiosity. The pulses of energy seem to grow stronger as their palms come together, and Noctis feels a little breathless as he realizes that Ardyn's skin feel significantly warmer than he would have expected. He had always assumed it would be like touching the smooth body of a snake, or maybe hard and cold like marble, but instead he's confronted once again with Ardyn's leftover humanity in a way that makes him feel uncomfortable even as he impulsively lifts the man's hand to press it against his own face.

 

It was just misguided curiosity, really, but the warm hum suddenly caressing against his cheek from the contact is so achingly familiar that it makes Noctis feel deeply homesick, eyes shutting tight as he turns his face further into Ardyn's palm to press himself closer. He wants to force his face harder and harder against Ardyn's hand and that soothing buzz of energy until his cheeks are bruised, push against him until his bones snap from the pressure and he's completely enveloped.

 

"You _do_ feel that, right? I'm not crazy?" Noct asks without bothering to open his eyes, and then Ardyn is gently stroking his thumb over his cheekbone and holy _shit_ that's so much better, Noct's face reflexively jerking closer to the contact.

 

"Of course I do, you're practically shouting at me."

 

Noctis wants to immediately deny the accusation, but then Ardyn is lightly running his thumb across his bottom lip and Noctis has to take a shaky breath to collect himself first. He simultaneously wants Ardyn to repeat the motion endlessly forever, but he also kind of wants to sink his teeth into his thumb and bite until he tears his hand off. "I'm not shouting," he whispers on the exhale instead, voice going even softer as though to prove a point.

 

"I was not referring to your speech. Have you truly not figured it out yet?" Ardyn's tone is a little condescending, sounding very much like an adult speaking to a child, but Noctis doesn't care in the moment. He's too focused on the hand pressing to his cheek and the fact that he kind of wants Ardyn to punch straight through his chest and crush his heart in those bizarrely soothing hands. Hold him close, stroke his hair, and then rip is throat out with his teeth, or maybe just fucking beat him to death with hands that feel deceptively kind as they caress over his skin. Grab his hips so hard that the fingers pierce down to bone, kiss him breathless and then bite his lips off, whisper sweetly in his ear with a hand in his hair then use it to smash his skull into the ground...

 

Something must show on his face, because suddenly Ardyn is sighing and lifting his other hand to cup Noct's face as well, thumbs smoothing tenderly under his eyes in a way that makes Noct want to either cry or scream, and then he's curling down to caress his lips against his forehead before dragging them to his ear. "Oh _Noct,_ " Ardyn croons so sadly that Noctis could almost believe that he meant it if it weren't for the slight lilt of overdramatic mockery painting them into something ugly instead, "I had no idea you had become this broken."

 

He actually reacts to being described as 'broken' first, a sluggish sort of indignancy forcing itself to the surface despite the manufactured sense of calm that Ardyn's touch was providing, and it takes him several long moments for realization to strike before his eyes are snapping open and he starts to tense against the body in front of him.

 

_'Noct.'_

 

And he really can't even find it in himself to be surprised at this point. They had been flirting around the subject since Ardyn had found him in Galdin, with the implication that Ardyn knew who he was always hanging at the peripheral. But the reality of hearing his real nickname for the first time in what feels like an eternity, and hearing it purred against his ear in a voice that he both despises and yet still makes his heart race wildly, makes Noct feel dizzy and desperate in a way he isn't familiar with feeling towards Ardyn. His breathing starts to feel harsh as he pulls back to look at his face, lifting his own hands to cover Ardyn's against his cheeks and unconsciously digging his fingernails into them. "You knew. You always knew."

 

Ardyn smirks, fingertips pressing harder into Noct's skin in response to the nails biting into his own. "Of course I did. You didn't _really_ think you were the only one buffeted by the cruel will of the Gods, did you? After everything we've been through together, I would have expected you to understand our positions a little better than that."

 

Noctis can hear a dozen questions he should be asking swirling in his mind, but they're sparks lost in a thunderstorm as he struggles to even keep breathing. Ardyn wasn't just Ardyn, he was _Noct's_ Ardyn. The only person in the entire Gods damned world who _knew_ him, not just the memory of a child who bore a striking resemblance to him. The people who were supposed to be his friends had all stared at him with mistrust, anger, and fear before leaving him in Lestallum _alone,_ and yet Ardyn was here, looking down at him with hatred borne of actual recognition, and Noctis is overcome with the desire to tear his skin open and crawl inside of him.

 

He settles for grabbing Ardyn viciously by the hair and dragging him down to smash their mouths together in lieu of actual carnage, opening his mouth wide and then biting down on Ardyn's lower lip as hard as he can.

 

Feeling Ardyn's skin start to give way under him and a snarl leave Ardyn's chest at the contact makes Noct's head spin with deranged satisfaction, though being shoved backwards and having Ardyn backhand him so hard that his head snaps to the side and he stumbles is even better. Noctis barely catches himself against the nightstand, the priceless crystal goblet of the pious shattering to the floor below with an ethereal tinkling sound, before Ardyn is grabbing him by the neck and shoving him onto the bed.

 

"Oh Noctis, we only _just_ had our official happy reunion, and you're already trying to tempt me into killing you all over again. I would have thought the Gods would pick a smarter plaything, but I suppose that's my fault for still putting any sort of faith in them."

 

The hand pinning him to the bed by his throat is tragically light enough that Noctis can still suck in choked breaths under it, and he swallows uncomfortably as his hands reflexively scrabble at Ardyn's wrist despite wanting him to squeeze harder. "So you _did_ kill me?" is all he manages to force out before he's having to drag in another labored breath.

 

"Evidently not, though I assure you, it was not for lack of trying." Ardyn's jaw is clenched tight as his fingers close harder around Noct's throat, and though his vision is starting to grow fuzzy at the edges from the lack of oxygen and blood flow, Noct is almost certain he isn't imagining the way Ardyn's normally calm face is splitting into a snarl and his eyes are beginning to darken to black before he leans forward out of Noct's hazy field of vision. "I suspect you might like that at this point, wouldn't you? Unfortunately it would appear that I still need you alive for at least a little longer, and I'm afraid I'm not so selfless a man to allow your death before I'm ready. When at last we do go home, we go together."

 

Ardyn squeezes his hand tighter for one more second, Noct's mouth falling open as his body instinctively fights to breathe, and then he's releasing his throat and standing quickly to back away from the bed. Noct immediately curls to the side as his body reactively coughs and gags from the ache in his throat, lungs burning like fire and hair a disheveled mess. By the time he manages to look up at Ardyn where the man still stands by the bed with his hands in his pockets, his face has returned to a normal olive tone and his sclera are back to a bright white.

 

More's the pity. Noctis likes it better when his mask of humanity is torn aside and his face shows the honesty that his words never do.

 

"Now then," Ardyn begins in an inappropriately airy voice considering he had just very nearly crushed Noct's windpipe under a single hand, "as much as I enjoy being bitten unexpectedly, the Scourge has no desire to keep you alive like I do, so I would suggest learning to control yourself before I do something we both regret. Your magic constantly tugging at mine is already leaving me short-tempered enough as it is, and I find I'm lacking the patience to deal with your teeth and claws in my skin as well."

 

Noct's eyebrows come together and he shakes his head against the mattress. "My magic is gone, if you hadn't noticed. I lost it," he barely rasps out, voice sounding like an unrecognizable whisper.

 

Ardyn eyebrows raise slightly in disbelief, then he lets out a surprised laugh and shakes his head. "Oh, you beloved _fool._ You haven't lost anything more than your willingness to use it. It's practically tearing itself out of you in it's desperation to be free at this point. What do you think you've been feeling this entire time?" He moves to sit next to Noct's head, running his fingers gently through the dark strands in a way that feels entirely nicer than it should considering Noctis knows he's only doing it to mock him. "Your magic is still there, and the weapons of your line are still within you as powerful as ever. Your covenant with the Gods too, I'd wager, though I can't say I personally recommend utilizing them. They don't tend to lend their powers for the sake of altruism, and in my experience, the price they ask isn't worth the paltry strength they offer. Your Oracle may put her faith in them, but I can't say I feel the same." Ardyn chuckles darkly then, fingers stilling as he shakes his head. "Ah, but I'm afraid I speak from bias again. It's a personal failing of mine. Of course you're free to follow the Gods as you will, it worked out so _well_ for you last time, after all."

 

If Noct's throat wasn't burning he'd probably allow himself to start with, _"don't be an asshole,"_ but he decides to save himself the pain and stick to the point. "So it hasn't been you?"

 

"No, it hasn't been me. But in the end, our power comes from the same source, and yours is begging to be with something familiar. We recognize each other, you and I, and I can only assume that recognition is what keeps causing you to swoon at every touch."

 

"I don't _swoon_." Noct's voice breaks on the last word and he scowls angrily at Ardyn's knee cap.

 

"Very well then, as you say. I assume that is what causes you to repeatedly become overcome and nearly pass out at every touch." Noct turns his head just enough to glare hatefully up at Ardyn's face, but he simply takes the opportunity to quietly shush him and brush the hair off of his forehead. "Oh come now, don't look at me like that. You're doing it to yourself, you know. Truly, I never would have guessed that you could break yourself so exquisitely and thoroughly without any help from me. Though I'm afraid we'll have to find a way to fix it, you're utterly useless to me as you are."

 

Ardyn gets to his feet and looks over to an intricate grandfather clock that Noctis remembers having stood outside his father's room, and he winces as he sees that the face of it is broken in several places and the glass shattered, though the hands still seem to march bravely along to the time despite the damage suffered. "Look at the time. We'll need to start heading to Caem soon, I expect the little mechanic will try to use that Mithril as soon as your friends arrive, and we wouldn't want to miss that."

 

Enough warning signals go off in Noct's head that he actually bothers to heed them for once, brows furrowing together as he looks over to where Ardyn is hovering by the door. He has that... _Look_ on his face again, like he wants to let Noct in on some horrible secret, but he wants to let him solve his shitty riddle first.

 

"And why would we want to be in Caem for that?" He asks cautiously, hating how Ardyn's smile spreads with casual ease as he shrugs.

 

"Well, didn't you look at that piece of Mithril you chose?"

 

" _You_ chose it."

 

"Did I? I don't remember. It's just that it seemed like a terribly powerful piece for an engine as small as a yacht, and I can't help but worry that it might-... Well, never mind, I don't want to cause you any undue worry about the mechanic. I'm sure he'll be fine."

 

Noctis stumbles to his feet and starts to lurch towards the door, but Ardyn is already slipping through with a cheerful, "Sleep well, Noctis!" before the door slides shut tight and seals him inside. He slams his hand repeatedly against the sensor, fury only growing with each consecutive flashing red light and irritatingly loud beep of denial the door lets out, then finally pounds the door one last time with a hoarse yell and spins to sink to the floor against it. Finding himself faced with a portrait of his grandfather propped up against the other side of the room, the picture seeming to stare at him with that odd sort of benign disappointment that Mors perpetually wore in every single portrait ever painted of him, Noctis lets out a frustrated sigh and shakes his head.

 

"Don't know what to tell you grandpa, I fucking hate him too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THAT WAS P WEIRD HUH?


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slowly drags bloody, broken body across finish line and promptly dies*
> 
> please don't actually read this chapter
> 
> (if you are reading it though, and you happened to see the first time I posted and then promptly deleted it, it's because I posted the wrong version, then tried to post the CORRECT one and the site freaked the fuck out, and then I had to go back through and edit it all again because I lost the one I had been working on. SO YEAH, if you were quick enough to click that page before it was gone, and the writing was even more horrible... That's why.)
> 
>  
> 
> (ALSO I CAN BARELY BELIEVE IT, BUT THERE'S MORE PRETTY ART TO LOOK AT: https://weirdfans.tumblr.com/image/178091978223
> 
> Thank you to Weirdfans/Roundnround for being an absolute angel. <3 Everything they make is just so beautiful it makes my entire kokoro sing.)

"My goodness, this is interesting: I don't think the Mithril has exploded quite yet! You know, I think if warp, you might be able to make it in time to warn everyone!" Ardyn calls out to Noct, both standing in the open mouth of the airship as it slowly begins to descend over the road outside Caem.

 

Ardyn had insisted that he was "forced" to bring them down over a part of the road that overlooks the lighthouse, but is just outside an absurdly long tunnel (one that Prompto had never once managed to hold his breath all the way through no matter how many times he tried, despite the valiant dedication and confidence to his cause,) saying that, _"there's just not enough room for an airship right in front of the building. I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid you'll have to go the rest of the way by foot."_

 

As Noctis shifts his weight anxiously back and forth, he knows what absolute bullshit that excuse was considering Noctis is planning on jumping out before the thing lands anyway, but there isn't exactly a whole lot he could do about it at the moment. 'Airship pilot' isn't exactly on his list of skills, short as it is, and knowing his luck (or incompetence, take your pick,) he'd probably end up setting off a missile that would blow the entire damn cliff up by accident.

 

"You know I can't warp anymore," Noct calls back without looking at him, staring intently at the ground and trying to calculate exactly how far he could drop and roll without snapping his legs off of his body. _Fifteen feet? Maybe a bit too high... Twelve? Twelve seemed reasonable._

 

Noctis suddenly feels hands wrapping around his waist and lurches forward in surprise, nearly falling out of the airship preemptively until he feels himself pulled backwards. A warm crackle of energy begins building up at the contact and crawling over his skin a moment later, and he shivers as Ardyn moves his face to speak against his ear.

 

"I'm sure you can, perhaps you just need the right motivation. I'll even give you a little head start."

 

"Ardyn, I _can't._ "

 

"You did in Steyliff the last time I leant you a little magic, and you will again now. It won't be enough to get you all the way to the lighthouse, but maybe it will jog your memory on how to use your own again, hmm? Here-" Noctis feels one of the hands shift, then a dagger pressed into his hand the next, "use that."

 

"Don't you dare, don't you dare-"

 

"Good luck!"

 

"Ardyn, I _swear to every single god-_ " He doesn't get any further before he feels Ardyn moving in the blink of an eye, shoving him hard from behind and sending him flying the last forty feet out of the airship. He lets out an incredibly heartfelt swear as he falls, scrambling to adjust the dagger in his hand in time to throw it towards the ground, going on muscle memory as he focuses on the borrowed energy crackling over his skin to try to bind it to the metal of the knife.

 

For one exhilarating second, he actually thinks he's going to pull it off as he feels the familiar rush of magic leaving him and the world around him twisting strangely as he phases through the air, until the magic Ardyn leant him suddenly runs out with a pop and he's ripped back into the physical world a good ten feet off the ground. He can feel his own magic beating against his skin to try to make up the difference, but somehow he still can't seem to activate it, and he hits the ground hard instead, white hot pain shooting through his legs as he stumbles and falls.

 

Feeling his palm scrape against the pavement and the breath knocked out of him as he falls wrong is just icing on the cake, and Noctis can't stop himself from taking a moment to roll onto his back with an agonized groan, gritting his teeth against the pain coursing through his body.

 

"You're off to an excellent start!" He hears Ardyn shout down to him, and he opens his eyes to see the man with one hand cupped next to his mouth, the other waving down jovially at him. Noctis shuts his eyes again with a long breath, pulling his wrist to his chest as he carefully prods at it carefully with his other hand.

 

Not broken, but almost certainly sprained.

 

He drags himself back up to his feet, ignoring the way his left leg nearly gives out, and instead forces himself into the fastest jog he can manage, each footfall sending pulses of pain through every nerve in his body.

 

He doesn't get too far before there's a familiar _whoosh_ of energy, and Noctis knows that Ardyn has warped before he even raises his head to see him several paces ahead, walking backwards with a taunting smile on his face.

 

"You'll never make it in time if you don't warp, you know."

 

Noctis grits his teeth and ignores him as he continues running, just beginning to pass him when there's another rush of magic, and Ardyn is in front of him again.

 

"Don't you want to try, at least? I'm sure the knowledge is still locked away somewhere. Why, it should be practically bred into you at this point."

 

_Whoosh_

 

"Your friend is going to die, are you truly okay with that?"

 

_Whoosh_

 

"The King is supposed to _protect_ his people, Noctis, and here you are, dragging your feet like a child."

 

" _Shut up!_ " Noctis finally snaps, lunging towards Ardyn as the man easily phases just barely out of reach with a pulse of pinkish light and an unkind laugh. Noctis keeps grabbing for him, frustration mounting each time Ardyn lets his fingertips brush past his chest before dancing away again like they were playing some game of tag.

 

Ardyn takes another step back, then warps to the mouth of the tunnel twenty yards ahead. "I'll let you stab me with that dagger if you can warp with it first! It won't hurt me, of course, but maybe the simulation will help you deal with some of these tantrums of yours?"

 

There's no breath left in Noct's lungs to snarl, the pain in his body from the fall leaving him gasping for air already. By the time he reaches Ardyn, his legs are beginning to slow, the burning ache in his thighs making his movements sluggish as he keeps trying to push forward.

 

Ardyn watches silently as Noctis jogs past, slowly turning to track his movement. He lets him get several paces inside the tunnel before Noct feels the displaced air of another warp and Ardyn is suddenly in front of him, making him stumble as Ardyn wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him to his chest. The cruel amusement of before is gone, replaced with a genuinely perplexed look as Ardyn stares down at him. "Like _this,_ " he says quietly, and Noctis groans in discomfort as he feels the ground fall out from under his feet and the world around him twist and shatter into nothing.

 

Much like some people who got carsick only as a passenger, Noctis had found that phasing himself rarely made him feel ill, but being phased _with_ someone sent his stomach into knots as his body always seemed to be a half second behind in it's understanding of why the world was twisting around him so violently. They crash back into reality halfway through the tunnel, but Noctis just sags against Ardyn's chest, hands shaking from exhaustion and nausea as he weakly bunches his coat in his hands.

 

He feels trapped in place, too tired to run, too weak to warp, the reality of the situation pressing down on him in a suffocating weight.

 

Prompto had once joked that the greatest secret in all of Lucis was that the Crown Prince, with his silky feathered hair that always looked so effortlessly perfect, actually had to straighten his bangs to keep them from curling up at the ends. In reality, the kingdom's greatest secret was how quickly Noctis broke down in the face of loneliness. Despite the sulking and the closed-off nature, his will to keep moving forward had always been based on a desire to keep the people he loved safe, and their belief in his ability to do so.

 

With no energy, no friends, no _magic,_ he's nothing.

 

Ardyn allows the extra weight as Noctis stiffens and then suddenly sags against him, shifting his arms to brace him up against a broad chest. "Noct," Ardyn chides gently, and Noctis doesn't even protest at the nickname, keeping his face downturned to shield it with his hair, "you'll never make it if you don't try."

 

"I can't."

 

"You _can._ You have to if you want your friends to stay alive."

 

The cool metal of the dagger is slipped back against his palm, and Noctis stares down at it wearily as he continues sucking in deep breaths of air into burning lungs. He hesitates. Remembers all the sacrifices that had been made for him whether he deserved them or not: sharp green eyes suddenly clouded and sightless; a face littered with battle scars; bright blond hair dingy with dirt and grime, the closest thing to sunlight in a world that had been depending on him to _get his shit together..._ then finally nods and takes a step back. " _Okay._ " Noctis nods as if trying to convince himself, running a hand over his face, then turns to face down the tunnel with the blade of the knife in between his thumb and forefinger. "Okay."

 

It all feels so oddly symbolic.

 

He hesitates again as the blood roars in his ears and he momentarily hyper-focuses on the throbbing ache pulsing through his sprained wrist, then throws the blade as far as he can, leaving his arm extended as he focuses every fiber of his being on connecting to the metal flying through the air. A huge rush of energy surges just underneath his skin, collecting under his outstretched fingers for a half second as it pushes wildly as if trying to escape, then a moment later fizzles out with a snap so intense that Noctis can feel it down to his very core. He pulls his arm to his chest with a surprised cry, the flash of scorching pain so unexpected that his knee buckles and he stumbles.

 

Noctis raises wild eyes up to Ardyn as he keeps his arm cradled against himself, finding the other man watching him with his brows furrowed but face otherwise unreadable.

 

"Interesting..." is as far as Ardyn gets before the dull sound of an explosion rumbles through the tunnel, and Noctis feels his eyes widen in horror as he keeps staring up at Ardyn and his stomach drops. He sees the way Ardyn soaks in his expression, eyes flitting all across Noct's pale face, then the next moment he's dragging himself back up to his feet and taking off down the tunnel again without a second thought.

 

He hears Ardyn sigh and murmur, "oh dear," before there's another _whoosh_ and arms wrap around his waist again. "Here, allow me to help," Ardyn says against the back of his ear, and Noctis tenses as the world warps around them once more.

 

The moment his feet touch the resolidified ground at the base of the dirt road leading up to the lighthouse, he starts running again, the adrenaline easing his way through the intense ache in his body and nausea holding his stomach in a tight fist. Smoke is just barely starting to curl up around the side of the lighthouse, and though no flames are visible yet, Noct's mind immediately begins filling with images of the entire interior ablaze in a hellfire and trapping every person he's ever loved inside.

 

He runs faster.

 

The first thing he sees as he crests the hill is Iris clutching Talcott to her side and staring at the cottage with wide eyes, and Noctis is filled with such a rush of relief at seeing the two of them unharmed that every other thought flies out of his mind at once as he runs to them. He doesn't even notice the way Iris' eyes widen further as she spots him, or the way she grabs Talcott and pushes him behind her, spreading her arms to the side as a shield.

 

" _Iris,_ are you hurt? Where's Cid? Is he okay?" Noctis babbles as he grabs her shoulders, though she flinches out of his grip and takes a hurried step backwards at his touch. Noct's brows furrow in confusion, following her forward and reaching a hand out again as she keeps backing away, herding Talcott behind her as she goes. "Iris, what-?"

 

Just as realization dawns on him, forming cold and sick in the pit of his stomach as he stops dead in his tracks and yanks his hand away from her, he feels someone grab the back of his shirt and throw him backwards.

 

"Stay the _fuck_ away from her," a furious voice shouts, and the next second he catches sight of Gladio's snarling face before his fist connects hard with the side of Noct's jaw.

 

It's immediately apparent just how much Gladio pulled his punch when Noct's face doesn't immediately shatter and his teeth remain lodged in his gums, but the impact still causes his mind to fuzz as he goes flying to the ground, ears ringing as though a bomb had gone off right next to him. The taste of blood fills his mouth, and Noctis barely has time to wonder whether he bit his cheek or his tongue from the impact because _all of it hurts equally,_ before Gladio's on top of him, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and raising his arm again to go for another punch.

 

Noctis just flinches his eyes shut and waits.

 

" _Gladio!_ " Ignis' voice is sharp, and Noctis feels the hand in his shirt tighten slightly, but no fist coming down to strike him dead. He cautiously cracks one eye open, looking up at the furious face above him as Gladio seems to struggle between the clear reprimand from Ignis, and the desire to tear Noct's arms off of his torso and beat him with them. Noctis glances over his hulking shoulder, seeing Ignis standing several paces back with a tense look on his face, and Prompto standing just behind him, expression unreadable past how clearly conflicted it was. He feels his heart break at the look on his face for barely a moment, then Gladio grabs his shirt with his other hand and gives him a hard shake to drag his attention back.

 

"What did you do?!" Gladio practically yells at him, and Noct's mouth opens wordlessly as he struggles to find words through the haze of pain numbing his mind.

 

"I- I didn't do anything!"

 

"Stop bullshitting me!" Gladio shakes him so hard again that Noct's teeth clatter together, Ignis' warning shout going ignored this time as the large hands in his shirt remain steadfast. "You just _happen_ to show up in our lives right before Insomnia falls, you talk us into letting that _bastard_ go with us to Steyliff, the Mithril he gets us nearly kills Cid, and now you show up right after the whole thing blows up? How fucking _convenient._ "

 

Noctis groans in agony as his teeth catch his tongue again, turning his head to spit blood on the ground. "What can I say, I have a flair for the dramatic. Is Cid okay?" It isn't an answer, isn't going to calm Gladio down; if anything, it'll just make everything worse, just like his non-answers had with Ignis previously. Noct knows that, but the only thing he can bring himself to do in his haze of panic past desperately deflecting, is making sure everyone is safe. Hating him was fine, but they had to be alive to do so.

 

Gladio goes still above him as his teeth grind together, then clicks his tongue in disgust, throwing Noctis back against the ground and getting to his feet without a word.

 

The unmistakable sound of someone warping behind the cover of the trees reaches Noct's ears, but he ignores it for now as he gives himself a brief moment to breathe and do a quick mental check on his body, working his jaw (it catches and pops painfully with each motion,) and twisting his ankles and wrists, then he's dragging himself to his feet as well to look over at the people he once called his friends.

 

Iris' jaw is set and Talcott is still staring at him with wide eyes, but his attention is drawn to where he can finally see where Cindy is kneeling over Cid's motionless form in front of the cottage, phone held to her ear with her shoulder as she frantically administers a potion with her hands. He takes a half step forward even as Gladio moves to block him, about to try to duck under his arms to get to Cid's prone form, when he notices everyone suddenly tense and look over his shoulder.

 

"Look at this, the group's all back together at last. Seems like the perfect opportunity for a photo, don't you think, Prompto? Too bad it isn't a happier reunion."

 

Noct's stomach drops as three matching looks of fury, disbelief, and confusion all fall to him as Ardyn steps out from the trees, and he raises his hands in surrender.

 

"You even brought your little dog with you again, huh?" Gladio says through his teeth, and Noctis shakes his head in denial but can't seem to get any words out.

 

"Really, if anything, wouldn't he be the little dog? I _am_ the Chancellor of Niflheim, after all, I think I outrank him as he is now."

 

"Ardyn, _shut the fuck up._ " Noctis says as he cautiously watches Gladio for any signs of sudden movement. To his surprise, it's Prompto who finally steps forward.

 

"Oh, on first name basis with him still? You two must be pretty close."

 

He can feel Ardyn stepping up behind him, but his attention is focused on Prompto as the blonde's face twists in an expression that Noct can't ever remember seeing before. Like he _hates_ him.

 

Prompto had never hated _anyone._ Not even the kids who had bullied him or the people who had looked down on him when he had just been 'the Prince's commoner friend.' Not _Noctis._

 

"Prom, please-"

 

"No, fuck you, you don't get to use nicknames right now," Prompto says angrily, summoning his gun in a swirl of blue sparks, and Noctis feels the wind knocked out of him as the barrel is pointed at his head.

 

Prompto's hands aren't even shaking.

 

"Oh, come now, let's not start pulling out our weapons," Ardyn says smoothly as he takes a step forward with his hands up. "We're both unarmed, there's no need for any of that."

 

It was half true: Noctis was certainly unarmed in the sense that his weapon was on the ship and the rest of them were stuck in his Armiger. As for Ardyn, well. No weapons were visible, at least, though magic ghost weapons didn't tend to announce themselves until they were summoned.

 

Ardyn moves to stand directly next to him, and Noctis watches as Prompto's eyes dart to Ardyn, then fall back to him, gun never wavering. "I think you'll have a terribly difficult time getting to Altissia at this rate, what with the ships down and the terribly unfortunate accident with the Mithril destroying your personal boat. We simply wanted to extend an invitation for passage aboard my airship- unless, of course, the Oracle's call can go unanswered?"

 

Prompto's body tenses, fingers tightening around the grip of his weapon as his eyes burn holes through Noct's soul. "Yeah?" He asks softly before Ignis or Gladio can speak. "So that was your gameplan all along? Destroy the King's boat, maybe get a person or two killed along the way, then try to force us to go with Chancellor Dickhead?"

 

Noctis takes a step forward, holding his hands out as if trying to calm a spooked animal. "I have _nothing_ to do with him. I'm only with him because I had no other way out of Lestallum. I know what it looks like, but it's not-... THAT." He knows Prompto. Prompto would never shoot him, not even this version of Prompto. Even without the years of friendship through high school, the hours spent training together and playing video games. There was just no way. There had to still be some part of him that would never want to hurt Noct.

 

He takes another step forward, hearing as Ignis quietly tells Prompto to put his gun down, but Prompto only lifts it higher, eyes full of cold fury. "Stay back! First Iris gets attacked, now Cid nearly _dies_ because of you. I'm not letting you hurt any more of my friends!"

 

The surge of emotion that swells up inside of Noctis nearly chokes him, face crumpling. "Prom, _please,_ " he begs, taking several hasty steps forward in his desperation to make Prompto understand, then the next moment Ardyn is grabbing him around the waist and pulling him back so hard that Noctis stumbles against his chest and nearly falls, weight catching on the arms still holding him. A millisecond later a bullet cuts through the air right past where his head had been moments before, the gunshot so loud that he can practically feel it echo in his skull.

 

Noct's mouth drops open in a disbelieving gape as he stares at where Prompto is standing, face cold and gun still lifted.

 

There's an awful silence as the wood of the cottage crackles in the background and everyone's eyes seem to be fixed on Noctis, and then Ardyn is stepping backwards slowly and pulling Noct's nearly catatonic form along with him.

 

"Time to go, I think. Come along, Noc- wait, what was it again? Luke? Come along, 'Luke'!"

 

Ardyn's hand is closing around Noct's wrist, dragging him further down the hill, but he can't stop staring at Prompto. The gunman's hand is finally shaking as he lowers his gun, and Noctis thinks he might see his face crumpling in anguish as he sends his gun back to the armiger, but then Ardyn is yanking his arm hard enough that he's forced to look where he's going to avoid falling.

 

Still dragging Noct behind him, Ardyn turns to call up to the figures at the top of the hill one last time. "My ship is just outside of Caem. Do send my friend a text once you decide to take me up on my offer, I'm sure he'll be delighted to hear from you!"

 

Noctis lets himself be pulled close as they disappear into the cover of the trees and Ardyn warps them first to the entrance of the tunnel, then to the end of it, then right underneath where the airship hovers nearly motionless above them, remaining completely silent even as the sensation causes his stomach start to roil and churn with nausea. He doesn't even realize that Ardyn is speaking to him until he registers the vibration against his chest, and Noctis slowly raises wide eyes up to look at the other man's face, gaze unfocused.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"I said not to worry: they aren't left with many options for travel at this point. Give tempers time to cool, and I'm sure they'll contact you once they realize my offer is the only way to Altissia. That truly is turning into _quite_ the bruise, though. Can you move your jaw?"

 

Noctis keeps staring blankly at his face without registering the question, lips parted and breath shallow. Ardyn watches him expectantly for several moments, then looks up to the mouth of the airship with a sigh, warping them both to the interior entrance and pulling Noctis inside behind him as the door slides shut.

 

There's a large stone sculpture leaning against the wall opposite Noctis that looks uncomfortably similar to the effigies carved on top of the Royal Tombs, and Noct's eyes fall on it sightlessly as he listens to Ardyn pull something out of his armiger in a flash of light. 

 

He can barely control his thoughts anymore, emotions cascading and crashing like turbulent waves against viciously sharp rocks. Eyes staring at that cold stone face, but mind some place far away where the air itself seems to be crushing down on him, one thought managing to crawl to the surface again and again: "He tried to shoot me."

 

It's saying it out loud that makes reality come crashing back around him all at once, and Noctis buckles in on himself with a shaky breath as he instinctively wraps his arms around himself. "He tried to _shoot_ me."

 

Ardyn glances over to him, eyebrows raised in surprise. "Did it really shake you up so badly? Don't fret, you'll get used to it. I get shot at rather frequently, and I'm none the worse for wear."

 

"He tried to _shoot me,_ " Noctis repeats again, arms tightening and head dropping forward as he struggles to breathe through the strange hitching sensation in his chest. " _Prompto_ tried to _shoot me._ " He isn't crying- at least, he doesn't think he is- but his breath is catching so violently in his lungs that he may as well be, pressure building with such intensity behind his eyes that he feels like his head might burst.

 

He barely notices Ardyn shattering the potion over his head, the mist seeping into his skin and making him shiver as cuts begin stitching themselves together and the ache in his jaw and wrist slowly begin to ease. Ardyn smooths his hands over his hair and back next, seemingly checking for hidden injuries, and Noct feels like he should probably recoil away from the touch, but somehow it's the last thing that still feels familiar at this point. So he doesn't pull away, doesn't question why Ardyn keeps helping him or what the ulterior motives might be, and instead just shakes his head and then drops his forehead against his shoulder silently as he desperately tries to steady himself against the tumultuous storm of his thoughts.

 

Arms wrap around his shoulders, his head tucked securely under Ardyn's chin and hand petting against the side of his head like a parent soothing a child after a nightmare. "It's painful to lose everything, isn't it?" Ardyn murmurs against his hair, and Noctis can't decide if Ardyn sounds malicious, or if he's actually allowing a glimmer of something genuine to shine through for once. "To have the last person you would expect finally betray you at last."

 

Noctis keeps his face pressed against Ardyn's shoulder as a wave of denial rocks him to his very core. He wants to disagree, wants to insist that things are different than they are, but all he can think of was the look Ignis had given him before he left him in Lestallum, the feeling of Gladio's fist connecting with his face, and the sound of Prompto's gun shooting straight for his head.

 

He decides he really doesn't care if Ardyn is being malicious or genuine, fisting his hands into Ardyn's shirt and pressing himself as close as possible. "And isn't it _hilariously fucking ironic_ that you're the very last person who specifically wants me alive," he spits out mirthlessly, voice muffled against the layers of Ardyn's clothing.

 

He feels, moreso than hears, the quiet chuckle rumbling through Ardyn's chest. "On the contrary, you're the most precious thing to me in all the worlds. I waited a hundred lifetimes for you, and I would have waited a hundred more if I had to. Not that I was offered much of a choice, but the sentiment remains the same. You are as much a treasure as you are absolute refuse, and I have no interest in seeing harm befall you before it's my sword at your heart, and yours at mine."

 

Noct's pulse is pounding in his ears as Ardyn's words soak into his skin like honey despite how _weird_ they are- how genuinely weird Ardyn is in general- and the fingers smoothing over his cheek and the fluttery wave of familiar, excitable magic that pulses under his skin in response truly feel like the only thing he has left that reminds him of home. Those fucking gloves are in the way as Noct tries to press his face closer, though, the edges of the soft leather somehow feeling scratchy and irritating against his skin in comparison to the warmth of Ardyn's hand. He's about to reach up and rip them off himself, when Ardyn seems to sense exactly what's caused the sudden scowl to bloom across his face and, with one of the most infuriatingly smug (or maybe it was just victorious) smiles Noctis can remember seeing him wear, pulls them both off and carelessly drops them to the ground. His hands move to cradle along Noct's jaw a moment later, thumbs smoothing over his cheekbones and fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck.

 

"Is that what you thought you needed?" Ardyn murmurs lowly as he steps forward, using the grip in his hair to crane Noct's face up towards him. "Hands on your skin? Something to ease the way your heart aches for anything familiar? Poor Noct, this is just never quite enough though, is it? It feels like a bandage, but it's not what you really want."

 

It isn't. Even with thumbs pressing into his cheeks a little too hard and Ardyn standing over him a little too close, he still feels isolated miles away from the comfort the hands cradling his face seem to promise, and he has to shut his eyes against the siren song urging him to press closer and tear everything away until nothing but bones remain.

 

Noctis bites his lip hard and then takes a breath to steady himself before speaking. "And I suppose you just happen to know exactly what I want, huh?" He knows he really shouldn't encourage this. His tone isn't even as haughty and sarcastic as he means it to be, with a noticeable tremble threading through it that has to give away how hard his heart is pounding. _He just needs to be a little closer._

 

Ardyn tilts his face a little further up, probably just because he knows how much Noctis hates having to look up at him, and what better way to remind him of that than forcing him to do so at an unnatural angle as Ardyn looms over him like an angel of death. "Yes. And I think you do too, you just don't want to have to say it."

 

There's a rush of warmth through Noct's body as his heart lurches with arousal at the implication, and Ardyn's smile only widens at his silence.

 

"Well, at least your eyes are honest. Would you like me to show you? I'll even let you pretend that you don't want it, if denial would feel more comfortable."

 

Every single molecule in his body is aching for Ardyn to dip his hands into his chest and touch his very soul with that soothingly familiar magic, and after everything else that's happened and everything he's been through, being coy just seems silly. His entire life culminating in fucking his arch nemesis and a literal daemon after being punched and shot at by his best friends would probably be the MOST logical twist that his tragically short, then bizarrely extended, life has taken. Besides, he's never been allowed to choose the life he would lead or the end he would meet, but he can choose to childishly raise a middle finger to the gods who feel as though they've abandoned him by practically bathing himself in absolute sin. So instead he meets Ardyn's gaze evenly and quietly murmurs, "No, you're right. I definitely want it."

 

The next few moments pass so quickly that Noctis can't quite keep up. Ardyn lets out a chuckle that makes Noct's hair stand on end, sweeping a thumb across his lower lip to part them before dipping his head down and kissing him rough and open-mouthed. Large hands run down his sides and drop to his hips, gripping hard, thumbs dragging across the jut of his hipbones before sliding to the backs of his thighs to urge him up. The moment Noct gets his legs hooked around Ardyn's waist, Ardyn pulls him close against his chest and takes a smooth step backwards, and for once Noctis barely notices the way his body is dragged along as Ardyn warps in a flash of magenta light. He doesn't even pay attention to where they're going when Ardyn activates one of the keypads and carries them into a darkened room, too busy with yanking off his scarf and desperately tugging at the buckles on his vest until the lights turn on and Noctis realizes they're in the room full of his pilfered memories.

 

"Come on, not _here,_ " Noct groans, though he's still threading slim fingers through Ardyn's hair and dropping his mouth to the rough skin on the underside of Ardyn's jaw despite his halfhearted protest.

 

Ardyn looks unconcerned, pulling Noct's head back with a hand in his hair to press a kiss to the front of his throat, and Noct can feel the way his lips quirk up in a smirk against the skin. "Perhaps you've forgotten that I don't sleep? I don't keep a large selection of beds that will never see any use at my disposal, and I was merely thinking of your comfort. Besides," Ardyn suddenly grabs his hips and throws him to the bed, the sensation of freefalling making Noctis gasp and heart jump before his back connects safely to the mattress, "don't you think there's something oddly poetic about inviting the devil in while surrounded by the ghosts of your own failures?"

 

There's no time to respond before Ardyn is on top of him, hooking an arm under one knee to drag Noct higher up the bed with him, and Noctis hates himself for letting him do it, for wrapping his arms around Ardyn's shoulders to make it easier, and hates himself most when he realizes just how ridiculously and utterly turned on he actually _is_ by the thought of that.

 

" _Fuck_ you," Noctis hisses out with all the venom he can find, but Ardyn just shushes him tenderly before grabbing him by the throat and rolling his hips against him hard and Noctis swears that he melts.

 

At least the hand on his throat keeps his desperate moan from escaping, mouth falling open silently as his entire body arches in response and hands flying up to rest on Ardyn's forearm. He makes no effort to dislodge the grip cutting off his ability to breathe, instead cracking his eyes open to find Ardyn watching his face intently, looking very much like he was having to restrain something ugly inside of himself as his hand remains pinned at Noct's neck. The thought of Ardyn losing his tenuous control of his humanity at last somehow makes Noct harder, fear and arousal combining to set his blood on fire. He'd probably be horrified by the way he meets Ardyn's hips rolling down against his again if he wasn't so dizzy from the lack of oxygen, but his vision is starting to go black at the edges and he wants Ardyn to burn him to the fucking ground.

 

Ardyn releases his throat just as Noctis truly begins to think he might black out, tears prickling the sides of his eyes and stomach heaving as he gasps for breath. "Oh gods," is the only thing he can find to say as he turns his head to shove the side of his face against the pillows, skin so hot that he thinks Ardyn really might be burning him after all.

 

He hears Ardyn laugh low in his throat as he fists a hand in Noct's shirt and pulls him back up, seams straining and tearing with the force of it. "The gods aren't here, so let's keep their name out of this, hmm?" Ardyn mutters with something dark tainting the edges of his artificial mirth, pulling the shirt roughly over Noct's head before pushing him back onto the mattress with a hand on his chest and a firm, " _stay._ " And Noct means to say 'fuck you' again, but instead he finds himself wordlessly nodding and remaining exactly where he is.

 

Ardyn steps away from the bed and begins removes his clothing with such practiced ease that all of the complicated buckles, loops, and straps almost seem perfectly normal and not like a wearable collection of Rubix cubes, and Noct finds himself so distracted with watching the process that he hardly realizes that Ardyn is getting _naked_ until he turns back around and Noctis gasps.

 

The side that had been facing away from him is practically covered in twisted, knotted scars, thickest over his hip and twisting up over his ribs and all the way down one knee, as though he had been hacked away at by dozens of blades. Now that he looks, he realizes Ardyn has scars all over his body: slashes down his arms, poorly healed puncture wounds scattered from his legs to his collar bones, something that looks like a burn mark wrapping across his torso. Even the backs of his hands have scars- smaller ones that his gloves typically hid, and faded enough that Noctis had never noticed them before when his gloves were removed, but clearly there now that he had spotted them. An intense wave of nausea overwhelms him at the perfect symmetry of them, two round white dots of knotted tissue, as though someone had tried to crucify him a very long time ago and not quite been able to pull it off.

 

Even to have been inflicted on someone like Ardyn, the scars are overwhelmingly cruel.

 

"The last gift bestowed upon me as a mortal," Ardyn offers lightly as he approaches the side of the bed, and Noct has to forcefully tear his gaze away to look up into his face. The sympathy must show, because Ardyn just shakes his head and smiles, looking genuinely unconcerned with the horror leaving Noctis sick. "Come now, don't fret. There's little use in feeling pity for the dead, and that man died a very, very long time ago."

 

Noct's throat clicks as he swallows wordlessly, eyes dropping back to Ardyn's chest, over broad shoulders and strong arms, then over the scars on his torso again before falling to his hips. A strangled, strangely Prompto-like noise forces it's way from the back of his throat as Noct suddenly feels himself turn scarlet from his ears to his collar bones, hands reflexively slapping hard over his eyes as reality forcefully muscles his pity out of the way in favor of hysteria.

 

"Holy _shit,_ what the _fuck,_ " he sums up eloquently as he falls backwards against the pillows, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyelids until stars appear behind them. "Sorry, I don't know what I was expecting. Just... Took me by surprise."

 

There's a soft tutting noise moments before he feels Ardyn's hands smoothing up the inside of his legs, pushing them open as he lays his body over Noct's, and it's both deeply frustrating and a bizarre turn on just far back they have to fall to accommodate Ardyn's larger frame. He doesn't have time to decide whether he hates it or loves it before Ardyn fits both of Noct's forearms in a single hand and pulls his hands away from his face as Noctis tries to blink the spots back out of his vision.

 

"You act as though you've never seen a cock before, though I can't imagine that you're really a virgin at this point, are you?" Ardyn asks, then drops his head to do something with his his lips and teeth at the side of Noct's neck that sends waves of goosebump cascading down his arms, and Noct lets out a high pitched whine and starts squirming before he can stop himself and force it into a deeper groan.

 

He takes several deep, hasty breaths, tugging experimentally against the hand locking his wrists against his chest, unsure of whether or not he truly wants to break free at all. "I'm- uhh- not entirely?" Noct eventually manages to get out, voice gone breathy as his head falls back to give Ardyn better access. "But I haven't had a dick in me before either, if that's what you're asking."

 

The teeth against his neck stop suddenly and Ardyn actually laughs- only for a single exhale, but he actually sounds genuinely amused for once, instead of just cruel and hateful. "At least the gods saw fit to gift you with such a charmingly silver tongue, if nothing else." Ardyn sits up, unhurriedly unlacing Noct's boots and pulling them off. "But really, not even the pretty blonde gunman? He was always so twisted about your ankles that I often thought you must have been fucking him to inspire such ardent obedience."

 

"Thought about it a lot, did you?" Noctis asks dryly, and Ardyn smiles at him.

 

"I'll admit that the idea holds some peculiar aesthetic appeal. You two do complement one another beautifully." Ardyn drops the second boot and sock, turning his face to kiss Noct's ankle before sliding his hands up to undo Noct's pants. "But it doesn't matter. I won't hurt you."

 

He says it like it might be another one of his jokes, but Noctis just lifts his hips and quietly mutters, "I think I might prefer it if you did, actually." Now all he can think of the way Prompto looked at him earlier, suspicious and hateful, and suddenly he kind of wants to be slapped across the face so hard his skin is left bruised and raw. So of course, despite the millennia of cruelty Noctis knows that Ardyn has built up inside of him, his pants are being carefully peeled off him with the softest of touches, Ardyn pausing long enough to press a kiss against each slightly prominent hipbone as gently as though Noct's bones were made of spun sugar and might shatter at any moment. The sensation of that perpetually scruffy beard sends an intense, involuntary shudder coursing down Noct's spine as it drags against the hyper-sensitive skin of his lower stomach, hands darting to grip in purplish-auburn hair as an anchor as he bites his lip against an incredibly undignified whine that tries to tear its way out of the back of his throat. "Get _on_ with it already."

 

Ardyn laughs, the puff of warm air that ghosts across Noct's stomach as a result sending another wave of goosebumps prickling over his skin, but actually does as he's told for once, stripping Noctis bare and dropping his pants to the ground next to the bed. The rush of cold air makes Noctis flinch as it touches over heated skin, a flush crawling over his chest that has absolutely nothing to do with embarrassment and everything to do with arousal as Ardyn settles back between his thighs. Honestly, Ardyn had seen him bleed, seen him cry, taken everything and watched Noct's entire world shatter, laid his soul out bare and beaten down to nothing, so really, a little nudity didn't seem like such a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

 

"You are a lovely little thing, aren't you?" Ardyn murmurs as he bends down to nip at the skin of one of Noct's hipbones again, and he can practically _hear_ the smirk in his voice as he says it. He doesn't linger long enough to let Noctis come up with any sort of comeback, sliding strong hands underneath his hips and pulling them up to meet him mouth as he presses an open-mouthed kiss at the crown of Noct's flushed cock.

 

Noctis bites his lip and swallows hard to try to hold back the surprised cry that wants to burst out of him, but a moan forces it's way past his lips all the same as his hands dart to grip at Ardyn's hair again and his legs move to wrap over broad shoulders to steady himself, and he resents just how much he loves the way it causes Ardyn's stubble to burn across his inner thighs. Ardyn hums in amusement, grip tightening as he lifts Noct's hips up higher and takes him almost completely in his mouth all at once, and Noct's back arches so hard his shoulders nearly lift off the bed despite the scar tissue in his lower back protesting loudly at the motion. The constant movement of lips and tongue over him is almost more than he can bare, fingers carding fitfully and continuously through Ardyn's hair as he tries to keep himself from thrusting deeper, and he barely even notices the flash of magenta light until the sharp noise of a cap being opened pulls his attention back and he realizes that Ardyn just _summoned lube from the Royal Armiger._ He wants to laugh, feeling somewhat hysterical from the entire godsdamned situation, but then Ardyn is sliding a slick finger around sensitive skin like a taunt, his other hand still holding his hips up easily as though Noctis weighed nothing at all, and suddenly he can't even breathe.

 

He can feel the way his legs are already starting to shake, hands going back and forth between twisting and tugging in Ardyn's hair, then back to running endlessly through it, wanting to clutch onto something and yet simultaneously unable to stay still long enough to do so. Another deep slide of lips against his cock and fingers teasing against him has his stomach convulsing and grips tightening, pressing his cheek against his shoulder as Ardyn's hands pull and guide him along to the motion of his mouth.

 

The sensation of two long fingers pressing into him at once has Noctis nearly punching himself in the mouth to press the back of his hand against his lips, quickly dropping his other to fist in the blankets before he accidentally rips Ardyn's hair out. Every ounce of awareness zeroes in on the slow pump of his hand and flick of his wrist, melted lead flaring deep in his stomach and spreading through the rest of his body as his hips unconsciously arch towards Ardyn's hand, and he feels Ardyn smirk around him before pulling up just enough to speak.

 

"Is that alright?" Ardyn asks with a gentle kiss to Noct's lower stomach, just as he twists his fingers in a way that tears a sharp, high-pitched gasp from Noct's chest, entire body going taut. Noctis manages to force out a quickly panted " _uh-huh,_ " before Ardyn's mouth is back on him, fingers moving harder, faster, and Noct's mouth drops open in a loud moan.

 

He can't seem to stop squirming after that as pure, molten want sets his veins on fire and makes his entire torso convulse, impatiently rolling his hips against Ardyn's hands with a shameless desperation that feels completely unfamiliar as it burns its way through him. Ardyn pulls up again and laughs low and quiet, lifts his free hand high, and Noctis barely has time to realize what he's doing before he brings it down against his upper thigh so hard that the resulting _slap_ rings out nearly deafening in the relative silence of the room. Noct cries out, eyes widening in shock, then going hazy and heavy with arousal as heat radiates with scorching intensity from the hand print reddening his thigh and the fingertips running feather-light over smarting skin. "Be still. You're making this _very_ difficult."

 

" _Ardyn,_ " Noctis breathes out in a rush the second he finds his voice, chest heaving and mind groggy with arousal, "fuck, _please._ "

 

He's positive he's never wanted anything more in his entire life. Wants Ardyn to slap him again, wants his ribcage cracked open and heart left on display, wants the magic inside of both of them to surge up and burn his body in an agonizing blaze until he finally feels cleansed of all his failures. Instead Ardyn just slows his pace into something deliberately torturous and curls his fingers, and the resulting way his mind blanks out, sense of ego scattered along with every nerve in his body, is _almost_ as good as paying reparations through his own self destruction.

 

Almost. He still sort of wants Ardyn to hit him again, though.

 

Noct's cheeks burn at the bizarrely obscene sensation of Ardyn's fingers leaving him, mouth falling open and body curling. All at once his awareness comes crashing back into his body: the sound of a lid being cracked open, sheets rustling as Ardyn shifts to press the blunt head of his cock against him, and Noct feels his skin crawling, lit on fire from his face, down his neck and over his shoulders, prickling and insistent as he forces himself to keep breathing. His legs are guided snugly around Ardyn's broad waist, a pleasant weight settling over him, then Ardyn is quietly saying, "look at me, don't close your eyes," and Noct realizes he doesn't even know when he shut them to begin with.

 

"I am," Noct whispers back, though it takes several seconds for his eyes to drag back open, eyelashes fluttering. Ardyn seems to wait until Noctis manages to blink them back into focus, blown-out blue meeting sharp gold, then slowly pressing inside of him, burning hot and so much wider than his fingers that it aches, but still somehow not enough. He shifts against the fingers digging into his hip, tries to move forward and finds himself trapped in a tight grip, everything so slow that it almost makes the burn worse. "Come _on,_ I'll be dead again by the time your done at this rate."

 

Ardyn chuckles. "My mistake." Then slides in the rest of the way, dragging hot and thick until he bottoms out in one swift thrust and everything in Noct's body goes haywire. He's positive he doesn't imagine the way his magic skitters just under the skin like sparks of electricity, making his hairs stand on end and muscles contract, or the way Ardyn's pulses back as he starts to find a rhythm, grinding his hips in a slow movement. It only gets more intense as Ardyn pulls out and then thrusts back in, Noct's back arching hard as the two energies pull and flex against each other, shifting as though simultaneously magnetized yet opposite: his electric and white-hot, Ardyn's cool despite the warmer color that represents it. Noct's burns so bright it almost _hurts_ as it sparks against him, yet Ardyn's smells like green and feels like a something soothing.

 

He very briefly wonders if it's always taken the form of that poisonous pinkish light, or if that was just one more outward representation of the Scourge infesting his body and tainting everything purple-black from his soul to his hair, but then Ardyn is pressing Noc's uninjured leg down into the mattress, sliding halfway out of him before thrusting back in, and the motion knocks the breath back out of his lungs and his thoughts along with it. Ardyn doesn't stop, each movement merciless enough to force cut-off gasps out of him, and the contrast between the coolness of Ardyn's magic compared to the cruelty of the way he fucks him breathless makes his toes curl.

 

There's a hand suddenly grabbing his jaw hard, tugging his face forward. "Ah ah ah, what did I say about closing your eyes?" Ardyn says with only a hint of breathlessness, all brutal mirth and hatred. " _Look at me._ "

 

" _Fuck,_ " Noctis is surprised when his voice comes out in a frustrated sob, "I _am,_ I am!" But his eyes are still closed for several long moments, body overwhelmed. He swallows, groans, but slowly forces them open again, meeting Ardyn's gaze with all the challenge he can muster despite the way his muscles shake and his breath stutters.

 

Ardyn's grip on his jaw loosens, moving his thumb to instead press against Noct's lower lip. "Good. Just like that." The praise sounds vicious despite the gentle hand moving to stroke his hair. "I'd hate to miss the moment that the precious Savior King of Lucis finally falls apart, not from a sword thrust inside him, but-... Well," Ardyn grinds up against him and Noct's back arches so hard it hurts, "I'm sure you understand the symbolism."

 

" _Gods,_ I hate you so fucking much," Noct moans miserably, though he's already moving to slide his arms around Ardyn's neck.

 

"Oh, I know, I know," Ardyn soothes against his hair, breaking eye contact long enough to press his lips behind Noct's ear. Using one hand to pin slender hips against the mattress, the other pushing against the thigh locked against Noct's chest, Ardyn shifts to drag across something that makes Noct nearly sob against the side of his face as he simultaneously tries to arch towards the sensation and away from it at the same time, finding that he can do neither. "But for what it's worth-" another harsh grind, another dry sob, though this time Ardyn has pulled back enough to watch as Noct's face contorts in agonized pleasure, "I've personally never thought so highly of you."

 

The hands at his hips are gripping just a little too hard, fingers pressing so deep that Noct should probably feel concerned at how clearly possessive it all is, but fuck, it's just so nice to feel _wanted._

 

Ardyn drops down close to Noct's chest, one of his hands tightening even further on Noct's side- hard enough to bruise, he realizes with a thrill so intense it sends red-hot magma crawling over his skin- using it to pull Noct up to meet the roll of his hips so hard that his teeth rattle. The other snakes up to wrap an arm under his shoulder, fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck and cradling the base of his skull as he presses a sweet, chaste kiss against his temple.

 

"Do you think the Gods ever could have guessed that this was how their pretty little champion would end up?" Ardyn asks almost conversationally, though his voice has dropped to something low and gravelly. "Just _begging_ to be knocked off his pedestal and broken down into nothing." He shifts his hips and drags against that spot that makes Noct's vision almost black out again, and Noct cries out, shivering and loud and virtually unrecognizable to his own ears. Ardyn laughs and drops his lips to Noct's ear to keep speaking to him in a low purr even as his hips stay at that perfect angle and Noct's cries only get louder. "I don't think they could. They may have foreseen your fall from grace, but I don't think even they predicted that you would throw yourself down the rest of the way so _willingly_. Go on, then. Show the gods how much they've failed you, I'm sure they'll feel it."

 

Every muscle in Noct's body begins contracting all at once as Ardyn pulls back and slides a hand down to wrap around his leaking cock, face so close that his lips ghost over his own as Noct pants openly into his mouth and Ardyn practically drinks each one in. The muscles in his stomach flutter, the leg pressed up against the mattress quaking desperately as his body is held on the precipice and his blood roars through his ears, and then all at once something snaps and he lets go with a hoarse sob, Ardyn's murmured "good boy," against his ear as he begins to come sending one last rush of white-hot pleasure rolling through him like a tidal wave.

 

The world goes to nothing but static as Noct melts bonelessly into the bed, only vaguely aware of the way Ardyn presses his face against Noct's neck and finishes with a cut off grunt, hips moving erratic and jerky as he spills liquid fire inside of him. He wraps his arms around Ardyn's shoulders and threads his fingers through his hair without thinking, turning his face closer against Ardyn's cheek even as something dark and decaying starts infringing on the faint scent of vetiver that Noctis has started subconsciously associating with the other man.

 

He knows exactly what it is, but he doesn't feel scared even when the scent spikes as he turns his face far enough to press an open-mouthed kiss under Ardyn's ear. 

 

Let him change. Let him give in to the Scourge inside him and rip Noct's beating pulse out of his neck; at this point, after all the time Ardyn had invested, between waiting for his birth and then torturing him as an adult, the irony would almost make Noct's unexpected death all worth it, if just to fucking spite him.

 

It takes several long moments for Ardyn to catch his breath, though Noct is pretty sure it's really just a front for him to undo whatever window to hell his face had turned into and return to something vaguely human. The sweet scent of rotting leaves slowly dissipates, then Ardyn is carefully pushing away from him to lay on his back, looking completely unruffled except for the parts of his hair that Noct's hands had managed to displace further than it's usual unruliness. Noct turns his head towards him, the motion seeming to catch Ardyn's attention enough for him to do the same, and for several long moments they just look at each other, softened blue eyes to sharp gold, and theoretical light to darkness, though the lines feel strangely muddled as Noctis stares with an openness to his face that he should really probably guard.

 

Then again, what he SHOULD have done was run Ardyn's blackened heart through with a bolt of holy retribution, yet here they are, both still very much alive in their own peculiar ways, the evidence of it running up and down Noct's spine as the last sparks of their combined magic slowly settles and fades. 

 

He finally turns his face against Ardyn's shoulder, surprised when Ardyn not only humors him enough to let him, but then even goes so far as to pillow Noct's head under his arm and tuck it under his chin as his other hand moves to curl in the hair at the back of Noct's head. It's probably just another one of Ardyn's mocking gestures of fake affection, but it's nice all the same, the steady, strangely slow beat of Ardyn's heart almost lulling him to sleep until he realizes what he's listening to.

 

Noct's eyes shoot open, pressing his hands against Ardyn's chest in disbelief. "Your heart is still beating."

 

"Yes," Ardyn agrees, sounding amused, "strange, isn't it? Don't let it be the reason you fail again when the time comes." And he sounds as casual as he nearly always does, like they were discussing something fun and lighthearted, not like he was begging for his own death after a millennia of unwilling immortality.

 

There's a long silence that falls between them after that, with Noct drifting right on the edge of dozing as he listens to that unlikely heartbeat, and Ardyn does whatever the fuck he does when he closes his eyes for any length of time. Yet a thought keeps tugging at the edge of Noct's consciousness, irritating and insistent, and it's enough to pull him back from the brink again. "Hey."

 

The hand that had stilled in his hair some time ago shifts to curl through the strands again, slowly letting each piece fall before repeating the motion as Ardyn hums questioningly at him.

 

Noctis pauses, distracted by the calming sensation of tingling hair follicles and the whisper of silky strands falling to the pillow under his head as he tries to collect his thoughts, then finally turns his face so his mouth won't be muffled against Ardyn's shoulder. "Why _did_ I fail the first time?"

 

Ardyn's response is prompt and easy, as though in direct contrast to his words as he quietly answers: "Because you hesitated."

 

He can almost see it in his memory, though it's so faint that it feels like a dream, or maybe a false memory created just by Ardyn's suggestion. But it _feels_ familiar. A memory of being grim, but steadfast and confident in a way that seems almost foreign now. Anger, grief, determination. Forgiveness. Lifting his weapon to finally make the final blow, making the mistake of looking Ardyn in the eyes and seeing something human there. A split second of being overcome with pity and the sense of how _unfair_ it all was, the blade in his hands feeling so much heavier when he was trying to swing it against a man and not the monster he had built Ardyn up to be.

 

Just a split second, but that was all it took to unconsciously slow his hand enough to fuck it all up.

 

Noctis flinches his eyes shut, and Ardyn turns his head to brush his lips over his forehead soothingly.

 

"Make sure it doesn't happen again."

 

"It won't." Noct's voice is firm, but here in this moment, with unexpectedly warm skin under his hands and the proof of a heart beating against his ear, Noctis can at least be honest enough with himself to know just how hard he's trying to convince himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry mom
> 
>  
> 
> I actually was going to leave this at an M rating just for the excessive use of "fuck," and to be honest with you, I think it might have been better if I had. I dunno, all that wiener touching just seems... Unnecessary? But then I remembered that everyone on the internet is a pervert and I was like, "FUCK IT YOLO" and here we are. I dunno. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it, but it's already there and I'm not redoing the chapter for the 8th time lolol
> 
> I did end up having to drop my face into my hands so many times while editing it that my partner actually looked over and asked if I was okay. To which I of course responded with "HAHA YEAH I'M FINE JUST PLEASE DON'T COME OVER HERE." Like it's actually absurd how shameless I am in person, and yet writing the word 'cock' made me double over and groan in mortification every single time.
> 
> Weird. Very weird. You know what else is weird? The word 'cock'.
> 
> ALSO if you're ever like "HEY WHERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER, IS SHE DEAD?" I cordially invite you to check out my writing Twitter, @666ofOne where you can read my ~~whining~~ updates on the fic. (Just kidding, it's totally whining.) If you really want to get to know me as a person (I don't recommend it) you can also follow my regular Twitter/Tumblr, @jupiterRadical. Just don't tell the people on there that I'm a gross internet pervert. Keep that knowledge on the DL.


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